REVIEW: Sour Patch Kids Red White & Blue Ice Cream & Sorbet

Sour Patch Kids Rred White  Blue Ice Cream  Sorbet

To prepare for Independence Day, the Sour Patch Kids have apparently been reading eighteenth-century books.

Have you ever looked at one of those old books? The title page just goes on and on, and it takes up the whole page with its name/description.

The reason I think the Kids have been reading them is that the name/description of this new Dreyer’s product likewise goes on and on:

Sour Patch Kids
RED, WHITE & BLUE
Lemon Sorbet and Vanilla Light Ice Cream,
with a
Redberry Swirl
and
Blue Sour Patch Kids Bitz.

Sour Patch Kids Rred White  Blue Ice Cream  Sorbet 3

Unwieldy title aside, I was excited to try a new seasonal ice cream. When I pulled the lid off, I was struck by how entirely patriotic it was.

The first spoonful surprised me. It instantly reminded me of a summertime treat. It was much tastier and melted more smoothly than I expected.

Sour Patch Kids Rred White  Blue Ice Cream  Sorbet 4

Lemon is by far the dominant flavor. Visually, I can’t tell the difference between the lemon sorbet and the light vanilla ice cream, but I can taste it. They deliver on the “sour, then sweet” promise, with the sorbet being the sour and the ice cream being the sweet. But I wouldn’t call it sour; it’s mildly tart, like lemon sorbet should be, but it’s nowhere near as sour as a true Sour Patch Kid.

It’s hard to isolate the Redberry swirl, but I did find one good vein so I could taste it without too much of the white stuff. It has a generic candy flavor with the faint taste of Redberry. I don’t know how to describe the texture; it’s soft and melty.

Sour Patch Kids Rred White  Blue Ice Cream  Sorbet 5

What most surprised me was the blue raspberry bitz. Before tasting the ice cream, I was skeptical. Whenever gummy candy gets cold, it gets super hard. Case in point: I did get some of the new

But these raspberry bitz are not true Sour Patch Kids. They have a much softer texture. So even though it’s cold, it’s not hard at all, and it dissolves and glides slickly down the throat. You could almost eat a bowl of this stuff without ever chewing. Unfortunately, the blue raspberry flavor is faint, at least compared to the lemon sorbet.

Still, even though the red and blue portions have faint flavors, they make the ice cream more interesting and enjoyable.

Overall, I liked this sorbet/ice cream much more than I expected. But I worry that the marketing will seal its doom. With the bright yellow carton with Sour Patch Kids all over, people will expect it to be super sour, with rock-hard gummy bitz. But that’s not what it is at all. I would have preferred a title like “Patriotic sorbet and ice cream, featuring Sour Patch Kids flavors!”

This is a solid product that I hope returns every year. Just with a different name.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 130 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 20 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 1.5 quarts
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice tart lemon sorbet accompanied by sweet vanilla light ice cream. Patriotic appearance. Blue bitz are soft. Better than expected.
Cons: I wish I could taste the blue and red parts more. Some of the sorbet is icy. The marketing makes it sound worse than it is. Long eighteenth-century titles.

QUICK REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Exclusive Flavor Glampfire Trail Mix Ice Cream

Ben  Jerry s Glampfire Trail Mix Ice Cream

What is it?

A Target-exclusive pint filled with chocolate ice cream, crunchy pretzel swirls, marshmallow swirls, and fudge-covered almonds.

How is it?

I might be wrong, but I think this is the first time Ben & Jerry’s has used a pretzel swirl. My pint didn’t have much of the salty swirl, but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. When I did taste it, it didn’t make me think of pretzels. Instead, there were savory bursts in my mouth that I’d describe as too salty for an ice cream…or any food.

But, the saltiness lingers in subsequent spoonfuls and adds a pleasant light savoriness that goes well with the sweet chocolate ice cream, marshmallow swirls, and fudge-covered almonds.

Ben  Jerry s Glampfire Trail Mix Ice Cream 2

Since there weren’t a lot of crunchy pretzel swirls, the pint reminded me of rocky road ice cream, which I didn’t mind at all. However, if there were as many pretzel swirls as there were marshmallow ones, then I would mind. The salt explosions in my mouth from them would be annoying and unpleasant.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I was confused about the name “Glampfire” at first. I had to look up on Urban Dictionary “glamping,” which, surprisingly, is also listed in a real dictionary. Apparently, dictionaries have lowered their standards.

Glamping is camping outdoors, but in comfort and luxury. For example, instead of sleeping in a tent with sleeping bags, glampers spend the night in a cottage on a Casper mattress with 4,000 thread count sheets and an almost extinct exotic bird down comforter.

Conclusion:

The saltiness is a bit much, but even though there might be pretzel swirls waiting for me at the bottom of the pint, I will finish it. Again, it’s rocky road-like, so it’s good as long as I don’t scoop up too much of the salty swirls. But, overall, this is one of my least favorite Ben & Jerry’s experiences.

DISCLOSURE: I received a sample from Ben & Jerry’s. Getting it didn’t influence my review in any way.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Received from Ben & Jerry’s
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 cup) 290 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hershey’s S’mores Crunchers

Hershey s S mores Crunchers

Hey folks, it’s your resident “S’more Connoisseur,” and I am BACK for more.

Today’s review comes compliments of Hershey’s new snack line, “Crunchers.” You might’ve already seen the Reese’s and Cookies N’ Cream versions in your local convenience store. I’ve tried and enjoyed both, so I had to pounce on these S’morsels (what they should have been called) as soon as I saw them.

So, what the heck is a “Cruncher?” Well, they’re basically little globs of chocolate with crunchy ingredients tossed in. As you would imagine, S’mores Crunchers have mini marshmallows, graham pieces, and graham cookies. I’ll touch on that redundancy later.

I opted for the larger sized bag. Let’s see if I made the right choice.

Hershey s S mores Crunchers 2

Well, right off the bat, they didn’t smell very good. Does chocolate spoil? It smells like what I assume old spoiled chocolate would smell like. Whatever, I can get over that if they taste good.

I mean, I guess? There’s just too much chocolate. I realize that sounds stupid because if these were in bar form, it might be the same ratio, but they tasted like a regular Hershey’s bar.

The graham and marshmallow peak through as you chew, but the overwhelming chocolate always took over. It’s like eating misshapen Kisses with random bits mixed in.

You probably read that and thought, “Ah, that doesn’t seem so bad.”

Hershey s S mores Crunchers 3

Unfortunately, I have a major problem with S’mores Crunchers, and it has to do with the little marbits clumped amongst the chocolate.

The marshmallows are HARD AS A ROCK. I’m serious. Take this as your warning. It’s not pleasant.

There are some pieces that have just graham, which lived up to the “Cruncher” name, but any clump with a marshmallow was like chewing on a pebble. I may have dental paranoia, but I had to chew with extreme caution. These things taste like they’re Rocky Road flavored, and literally made with bits of a rocky road.

I isolated a few of the tiny marshmallows to confirm it was them. I was expecting that crunchy, spongey, powdery texture you get from hot cocoa marbits, but nah, these are rough. They melt in your mouth in time, but I doubt you’ll take solace after cracking a crown.

The bag boasts these are “A delightfully munchable crunchy snack.” I counter that they are a “decent, terrifying dentist visit waiting to happen.”

The graham pieces and cookies were also irrelevant. I guess they wanted two different shapes because there is no taste or textural difference between them.

I could see these as a snack mix ingredient, not a standalone. Since there is so much chocolate, there needs to be something savory, like pretzels, to balance it out. That’s how I’m finishing this bag, if I even bother.

The Reese’s and Cookies N’ Cream varieties of these Crunchers are considerably better, so choose those or go for the Hershey’s Snack Mix. They’re usually on the shelf right beside these anyway.

(Nutrition Facts – about 10 pieces – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: 6.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Well on its way to being a pretty good snack mix ingredient. It’s still Hershey chocolate. Pieces with just graham are fine.
Cons: Marshmallows are a textural nightmare. Not a good standalone snack. Too much chocolate. Two types of graham for nothing. Worst of the Cruncher varieties so far. Bit of a lazy concept.

REVIEW: Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix

Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix copy

My inner kid could not resist when I learned Duncan Hines launched a Perfect Size for 1 Funtastic (yes, this is actually on the packaging) Color Changing Cake!

I particularly love products that I can sarcastically hashtag #Adulting and #PeakAdulthood. This cake is the perfect instance of such because I can eat two for dinner without anyone judging me. Yes, I am completely aware this was probably created for small humans and their fun after-school snack/activity with Dad, Mom, or sitter. But, hey I’m living my best life over here.

Unfortunately, I read the instructions after I left the grocery store, so I didn’t read the part about needing three tablespoons of apple juice. Ugh. I could see apple juice easily being a staple item for a household with a small human, but there are none in mine! I was also irked by the thought of having to buy an entire bottle for three tablespoons. However, I was pleased to find a much more manageable 10-ounce bottle at Kroger.

Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix Powder

I pulled out one of the individual pouches and was surprised by the robustness of the packaging. I was thinking it would be paper, like a hot chocolate pouch, but I guess they’re serious about protecting the color changing magic. When I opened it, the contents looked and smelled like an unassuming vanilla powder.

As soon as I dropped in the first tablespoon of apple juice, I was delighted to see the white powder change to pink! Cue the Toy Story Aliens’ “OOOOOO.” Nowhere online or on-pack indicated when the Funtastic was going to happen, so I didn’t expect it so early!

But after some more mixing, the batter started to look like an unappetizing Pepto-Bismol pink. To compare, I also started a second mug with water instead of apple juice. The water version was also pink, but slightly less Pepto-like. It was also easier to mix. The powder seemed to congeal better versus sticking all over the sides of the mug.

Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix

Apple juice (rear) Water (front)

Out of the microwave, the cakes looked like pink Play-Doh. It was so convincingly Play-Doh-like because of the slight sheen from the steam that I almost thought I could smell that signature musk. But, it was just my mind playing tricks; it still smelled like vanilla!

Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix Apple Juice Cooked

With apple juice

Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix Water Cooked

With water

It was also like eating a classic vanilla cake. It had a wonderful fluffy texture, wasn’t too sweet, and didn’t have a weird aftertaste. The water version was a bit fluffier and slightly less sweet than the apple juice version, which I preferred. So, if you don’t have apple juice handy, water will work fine!

Duncan Hines Funtastic Color Changing Vanilla Cake Mix Water L Apple Juice Right

Water (left) Apple juice (right)

I am impressed with Duncan Hines. They’ve institutionalized mug cakes and have made them foolproof. If you’re looking for any easy snack, meal, or dessert for yourself (or your booger monsters), this Funtastic color changing cake should make your short list!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pouch – 250 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 24 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 4-pack
Purchased at: Kroger
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Mug cake done right! Peak adulting. So fluffy! Works well with water also.
Cons: Definitely not pretty – Pepto and Play-Doh pink.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Signature Crafted Garlic White Cheddar Burger

McDonald s Signature Recipe Garlic White Cheddar

Less than a football field away from the closest McDonald’s to my apartment is a Wendy’s. Said Wendy’s has a sign touting fresher is better. Said sign corresponds to a commercial Wendy’s runs about their fresh never frozen beef. Said frozen beef is a reference to the McDonald’s 90 yards away.

Correction: Was.

In case you haven’t heard, McDonald’s is making the great leap forward. And, apparently, that leap to fresh beef starts with the rollout of the Signature Crafted Garlic White Cheddar Burger.

Which is convenient because if the moon is made out of cheese, and the cow jumps over the moon, it really is one small leap for mookind. But I digress.

Say what you will about fast food burgers in general, but McDonald’s burgers have (had?) a specific taste and texture that some people happened to like in a kind of lowbrow comfort fast food sort of way.

McDonald s Signature Recipe Garlic White Cheddar 2

The new patties are definitely a step away from that. With visible surface browning and what appeared to be sea salt on the patty, the beef looked like something I could have made at home. And the taste is altogether beefy —- more nuanced, rounded, and meaty than I remember. But the patty, aside from tasting drier than the average Quarter Pounder I’ve had in the past, didn’t taste well-seasoned or particularly succulent. As someone who grills a lot of burgers myself, I’d compare it to ground sirloin. Beefier, yes, but noticeably leaner and less flavorful.

McDonald s Signature Recipe Garlic White Cheddar 3

The good news is the burger construction is engineered for what my friend calls the executive bight. Carefully placed lettuce and tomato, as well as the slightly sweet bun, do wonders to round out the taste. Meanwhile, the garlic chips and aioli leave a distinct and savory garlic flavor that brings together all the flavors and makes your breath smell like the equivalent of three roasted heads of garlic.

McDonald s Signature Recipe Garlic White Cheddar 4

While I wanted to love (and I mean LOVE) the sharp white cheddar cheese, its flavor on the burger is less impressive than its flavor on its own. Unlike past McDonald’s “cheddar” cheeses, the slice actually has a bit of funk, but within the burger it gets lost amidst the beef and the garlic aioli and chips. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s sort of a waste of an otherwise perfectly good slice of cheese.

There was a time when I might have said $5.19 is too much for a burger. Well, that time was in college and considering I’m about to be 30 and no longer use “adult” as a verb, I’m willing to pay $5.19 for a good fast food burger. And make no mistake about it, the Signature Crafted Garlic White Cheddar Burger is a good burger by fast food standards.

Just be prepared to eat a Tic-Tac afterwards.

(Nutrition Facts – 620 calories, 300 calories from fat, 33 grams of total fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 49 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugars, and 31 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $5.19
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Beefier fresh beef patty than traditional McDonald’s burgers. Excellent double whammy of garlic taste. High quality ingredients make $5.19 price tag a bargain.
Cons: Leaner-tasting patty lacks juiciness and richness. Quality of cheese is lost against garlic flavor.

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