REVIEW: Burger King Jalapeno King and Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich

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Burger King Jalapeno King and Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich

As a huge fan of both authentic and inauthentic Tex-Mex cuisine, I’ve always had a penchant for jalapeno peppers. While a few chains add them as ingredients to their limited time only burgers, they nonetheless remain one of the less heralded toppings in the fast food cosmos. Needless to say, if I had it my way, jalapeno rings would be as ubiquitous as burger toppings as onion rings.

Thankfully, Burger King has come along with two newfangled, LTO sandwiches that seek to bring a little sweet heat to palates across America. First up in our dainty double feature of foodstuffs, it’s BK’s latest addition to the Big King family, the Jalapeno King.

Burger King Jalapeno King 1

As soon as you unwrap this monstrous burger, the powerful aroma of jalapeno hits your olfactory glands like a punching bag. The mammoth double-decker sandwich comes with half a pound of grilled beef, several strips of crispy bacon, a coating of pepper jack cheese, a green chile aioli (more on that in a bit) and, of course, a smattering of jalapeno rings.

If you’ve got a penchant for super filling, ultra-beefy burgers this one ought to satisfy you and then some. You get a TON of meat in this thing, and that aforementioned aioli is delicious (it’s basically a chipotle mayo dressing, with a subtle hint of lime thrown into the mix … I think.)

Burger King Jalapeno King 2

On the downside, though, the sandwich might be a bit too big for its own good. As much meat as they packed in this sucker, at least a quarter of the sandwich is just sesame seed bun on sesame seed bun action, and all that white (wheat?) space means some of the subtler flavors (like the bacon and the pepper jack cheese) get lost in the gustatory shuffle.

Burger King Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich 1

The considerably lighter Jalapeno Spicy Crispy Chicken Sandwich may not have the bulk of its beefy sibling, but overall I’d consider it the better one.

For starters, BK appears to have amped up their breading spices for this one, and for once, a fast food burger marketed as “spicy” actually TASTES respectably spicy. There’s a unique BBQ/Creole spice flavor I detected on the chicken rubbings, which makes it feel unlike anything you’ve probably tried at one of the major fast food chains before.

Burger King Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich 2

It has pretty much all of the same toppings and fill-ins as the Jalapeno King (save for the toasted potato bun), but the more condensed package allows the ingredients to meld quite a bit better than it does on the JK. You can feel the cheese and bacon gel together here, and the combination of pepper rings and BBQ spices might get your eyes to water a trickle or two. Of course, its smaller size also means it’s going to be a sloppier meal, so as always, we here at The Impulsive Buy encourage you to snack smart and ALWAYS opt for an extra napkin or two.

With both sandwiches costing north of $5 as standalone offerings, they’re probably not the best option for economically-minded diners. Still, you have to give BK props from at least trying to provide fast food consumers something outside the norm — as well as crafting two spicy LTOs that might get your nose running.

(Nutrition Facts – Jalapeno King – 990 calories, 65 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 3 grams of trans fat, 205 milligrams of cholesterol, 1550 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 55 grams of protein. Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Sandwich – 760 calories, 45 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1720 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $6.29 (Jalapeno King)

Purchased Price: $5.49 (Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich)
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Jalapeno King)
Rating: 8 ouf to 10 (Spicy Crispy Jalapeno Chicken Sandwich)
Pros: Both sandwiches are ridiculously filling; unlike most “spicy” fast food sandwiches. They’re genuinely spicy. The green chile aioli is superb.
Cons: The pepper jack cheese doesn’t taste that intense. Getting sauce and oil all over the place while you’re eating them. Trying to mathematically figure out how the chicken sandwich has more sodium than the Jalapeno King.

REVIEW: Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls (2018)

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Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls

You know when something tastes better in your memory than it actually does? That’s Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls for me.

I distinctively remember Mr. Peanut and the blue cylindrical can sitting on the coffee table, which was the designated snack table, in our family’s living room. So, was I excited to see Planters bring it back for a limited time? Heck yeah! But, Chester Cheetah has ruled the curl and poof category uncontested for over a decade now and for good reason.

Looking at the can now, I wonder why I didn’t ever question a peanut mascot on a corn-based snack. Anyways, when I opened them with said odd graphic, I was taken aback by the fluorescent orange because I forgot how traffic cone-colored they were. I know that’s part of the charm because they’re from a time when we had purple-colored ketchup and neon-colored soda. But in today’s push for less artificial flavors or colors, it’s a bit jarring. It didn’t help that they were noticeably more neon than Cheetos. But, props to Planters for keeping these babies true to form.

Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls 3

Because I wanted to save the best for last, I started with the Cheez Curls. They were noticeably more flavorful and saltier than Cheetos. The fluorescent-ness translated to better cheez coverage. But, I enjoyed Cheetos’ crunchier texture and that the last flavor was more corn-forward.

I was curious as to why the corn was more pronounced, so I looked into the ingredient list. The first ingredient is degerminated yellow corn meal, but for Cheetos it’s enriched corn meal. I’m not a food scientist so don’t quiz me, but Google says that the degerminating process strips some pieces off of the corn to make it shelf stable. The enriching process adds back some the lost vitamins and nutrients from the degermination. Maybe in this process, Chester also adds back some corn flavor. I wouldn’t put it past that Cheetah!

Another theory I have is that the Curls (and Balls) contain semisoft cheese whereas Cheetos just uses a cheese seasoning. Again, no food magician here but I think of how cheese-forward a semisoft curd is versus a dried cheese seasoning. In my mind, this translates as the corn really just being a base vehicle for the cheese, which is why it’s not as corn flavored as the Cheetos.

Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls 4

As for the Cheez Balls, it’s clearly the same cheez so points for consistency. However, there was a subtle stale oil smell wafting from the can that I didn’t get with the other. Besides that, unlike the Curls, there were less texture and flavor differences with Cheetos Puffs. Interestingly enough, the Balls have both semisoft cheese and dried cheese seasoning.

Planters Cheez Balls and Cheez Curls 2

All in all, pick up a can of Cheez Curls and Balls for nostalgia’s sake because it’s only around for a limited time. And I don’t foresee Planters extending that because they simply can’t stand up to Cheetos’ dominance and better taste. Sorry!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz. – Cheez Curls – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of sugars, and 2 grams of protein. Cheez Balls – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.98 each
Size: 4 oz. containers
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Cheez Curls)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Cheez Balls
Pros: Fluorescent orange glory and retro packaging. The Curls and Balls use semisoft cheese instead of just dried cheese seasoning which makes me think that it’s a bit more of a premium product than Cheetos! Great cheez coverage!
Cons: They’re just not as good as Cheetos, IMHO. Cheez Balls have a bit of weird stale oil smell.

QUICK REVIEW: Starbucks Protein Blended Cold Brew

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Starbucks Almond Protein Blended Cold Brew

What is it?

Are you ready to get your caffeine and protein all in one?

The new Almond Protein Blended Cold Brew and Cacao Protein Blended Cold Brew from Starbucks kill two birds with one stone. The Almond version has almondmilk, cold brew coffee, a plant-based protein, almond butter and a banana date fruit blend. The Cacao is very similar – although with coconutmilk instead of almondmilk and cacao instead of almond butter.

How is it?

Let’s get to the point: I really enjoyed these. Going into it, I thought I would like the Almond more than the Cacao, but the Cacao beat it by one point in my ratings! Both drinks have a smoothie-like consistency – I’m surprised that “smoothie” isn’t in the official name.

Starbucks Almond Protein Blended Cold Brew 2

Here’s the low-down: Almond was not overly sweet, and the cold brew coffee flavor came in the aftertaste. I could definitely taste the banana date blend, which I enjoyed. It took me a while to finish this one, as it was more of a sipping beverage.

Starbucks Cacao Protein Blended Cold Brew 2

Cacao was more chocolate and less coffee, and a little bit smoother of a consistency. Almost tasted like a healthy dessert! (#notcomplaining) The cacao powder masked the banana date blend.

Is there anything else I need to know?

I tried each of these on separate mornings and replaced my typical oatmeal and coffee with this all-in-one drink. I thought it would be weird to essentially drink my breakfast, but I loved how I was getting both my breakfast and coffee together – so productive. And, even with running a couple of miles one of the days, the drinks still held me over until lunchtime. Yay protein! They also kept me properly caffeinated, thanks to the cold brew.

Conclusion:

Great move, Starbucks. In the future, I see this for me as either a breakfast on the go or an afternoon pick-up/snack to get me through the rest of the day. I wonder if Starbucks can come up with any more flavor options?

Purchased Price: $5.95 each
Size: Grande
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Almond)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Cacao)
Nutrition Facts: (16 oz) Almond – 270 calories, 12 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 22 grams of sugars, and 12 grams of protein. Cacao – 250 calories, 9 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 26 grams of sugars, and 10 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert

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Ben Jerry s Cinnamon Buns Non Dairy Frozen Dessert

What is it?

At first, I thought the idea of using almond milk to make a non-dairy version of Ben & Jerry’s fantastic Cinnamon Buns Ice Cream sounded like using gluten-free ingredients to make Cinnabon’s classic roll. But, while gluten-free Cinnabon doesn’t seem too appetizing, that’s not the case with this pint.

While the dairy version has caramel ice cream, this one features a cinnamon-flavored non-dairy frozen dessert base. But, like the original, cinnamon bun dough pieces and a cinnamon streusel swirl are included.

How is it?

If you love cinnamon, you will enjoy this flavor immensely. There’s so much of it that it’s as if someone used the spice as talcum powder on their hands and then punched me in the face with them. It does an outstanding job at hiding the fact it’s a non-dairy dessert.

Ben Jerry s Cinnamon Buns Non Dairy Frozen Dessert 2

Most of the cinnamon flavor comes from the gooey swirl. It has that sugary grittiness one would feel in a cinnamon bun and the same explosive flavor. Surprisingly, the non-dairy base doesn’t taste as if it has much of the spice. I do get a little bit of the almond milk, which my brain seems to registers as a bit of doughiness.

The cinnamon dough balls have the same texture as the chocolate chip cookie dough balls in Ben & Jerry’s classic variety. The spice is in every bite, but they don’t have as much of a punch as the swirl. There’s also an equal amount of brown sugar that adds a sweetness that cuts through all the spice. This is welcomed because it makes the dessert not so one note.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The flavor does linger and makes your mouth feel as if you’re chewing on a well-worn piece of Big Red Gum.

Conclusion:

As I mentioned at the beginning of the review, I find the original Cinnamon Buns Ice Cream to be superb, and this non-dairy version, while not as creamy, is just as hard-to-put-down tasty.

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DISCLOSURE: Ben & Jerry’s sent me coupons for free pints to celebrate National Ice Cream Month, which was last month. I used one of the coupons to purchase this. Receiving the coupon didn’t influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 cup) 260 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 25 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Nestle Toll House Simply Delicious Snack Bar Dough

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When first looked at Nestle Toll House’s Simply Delicious Snack Bar Dough and saw it’s made with a “5-Grain and Seed Blend,” my first thought was, “So, um, Nestle is making bird treats now?”

But after scanning the packaging like a hawk, I learned the snack bar dough is not for birds.

The instructions for them are as simple as they are for the brand’s cookies — preheat oven, break up the dough, place on baking sheet, put in oven, wait several minutes, enjoy the aroma of baked goods radiating from your oven, pull out sheet after time is up, lift oven door with foot, close oven door shut by hip-checking it, let the goods cool a little, and then enjoy. But unlike the cookies, the bars look the same going into the oven as they do coming out of the oven.

There are two varieties available Chocolate Chip with Toasted Oats and Cranberry Walnut with Dark Chocolate.

Chocolate Chip with Toasted Oats

Nestle Toll House Simply Delicious Chocolate Chip with Toasted Oats Snack Bar Dough

If you like chocolate, this is the one you should get. Yes, the other one has dark chocolate, but with this one, the semi-sweet morsels stand out in every bite. To be honest, this tastes and feels exactly like a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie. The 5-Grain & Seed Blend (which by the way is made up of barley, wheat, brown flax seed, quinoa seed, and sunflower seeds) doesn’t seem to enhance or diminish the bars’ flavor.

The instructions say to let them cool completely before consuming, but the smell of chocolate chips in the air is an aroma that tests my patience. Because I have don’t have strong willpower, I tried one after about 5 minutes of cooling down. The underside of the bar has a slight crispiness, and so do the rolled oats on top.

Nestle Toll House Simply Delicious Chocolate Chip with Toasted Oats Snack Bar Dough 2

But the bar in this warmed up state is super soft. So much so that I wondered if they were fully baked. I’m sure they were, but the bar’s thickness and seeing the “Do not eat raw snack bar dough” gets me a little paranoid. Letting them cool down completely made them chewier, so I guess I should learn patience. I also noticed eating them made my mouth dry. Maybe the oats are soaking up my saliva?

But, again, they taste and feel like chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. So if you’re a fan of those, you’ll like these, but might I recommend eating them with milk.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 14 oz. package (makes 10 bars)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 170 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

Cranberry Walnut with Dark Chocolate

Nestle Toll House Simply Delicious Cranberry Walnut with Dark Chocolate Snack Bar Dough

If you like chopped walnuts on your floor, then this is the one you should get. Unlike the oats with the other variety, the nuts fell off the bars anytime I moved them. To make the photos in this review look less balding, I had to transplant a lot of walnut bits back onto the bars.

When I opened the oven door to pull them out, a sweet cinnamon aroma came wafting out. Oddly, the spice is not an ingredient. Much like the other variety, they do taste cookie-like, but it’s also less exciting because no flavors stand out.

Nestle Toll House Simply Delicious Snack Bar Dough Cranberry Walnut with Dark Chocolate 2

The walnuts, if they don’t fall off, give a nutty flavor that’s hard to detect most of the time and a nice crunch. The sweetened dried cranberries are bland. As for the dark chocolate morsels, I don’t taste chocolate in every bite as I do with the other variety. But when I do taste them, they don’t have enough of a punch to satisfy my sweet tooth.

But, this one didn’t make my mouth dry. So that’s a plus. But if you care more about flavor than oral dryness, go with the Chocolate Chip with Toasted Oats one instead.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: 14 oz. package (makes 10 bars)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 170 calories, 8 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

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