QUICK REVIEW: Hostess Bakery Petites Salted Caramel and Strawberries & Creme Cake Delights

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Hostess Bakery Petites Salted Caramel Cake Delights

What are they?

Two new flavors to the Hostess Bakery Petites Cake Delights line, joining Vanilla White Fudge and Double Chocolate, which you can read about

How are they?

Hostess Bakery Petites Salted Caramel Cake Delights 2

The Salted Caramel one is great if you love chocolate, but not great if you love salted caramel. The chocolate cake and coating dominated every bite. There are brief moments of caramel from the creme filling, but there’s too little of the filling to make it stand out.

As you can see, there are cloudy granules on every piece, which makes you think these might be salty. But no fears, my hypertension-prone friends, they may crunch like salt, but they don’t taste like it. If there’s any saltiness, my taste buds couldn’t detect it.

Hostess Bakery Petites Strawberries Creme Cake Delights

The Strawberries & Creme also had opaque granules in the coating. But some pieces had a lot of them, and others hardly had any. They’re there just for show and crunch because I didn’t notice a difference in flavor between those that had an abundance of them and those that didn’t.

Hostess Bakery Petites Strawberries Creme Cake Delights 2

Two foods that came to mind as I was eating these mini cake bites were Red Vines and overripe strawberries, but mostly the candy. The strawberry comes from the cake which is made using fruit puree. They have a natural flavor, meaning they don’t taste like Strawberry Nesquik or cheap strawberry candies, but they smell artificial.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The coating might’ve melted a little in the bag after being shipped to stores, which could cause the cake bites to fuse together.

Conclusion:

These two Hostess Bakery Petites Cake Delights varieties are fine, but they don’t make me want to repurchase them so that I can plate them at my next tea party. If you like chocolate, get the Salted Caramel one, but you also get the Double Chocolate one. As for the Strawberries & Creme, I enjoyed it a little less than the other new variety, but it’s still good. Also, I feel some folks will find its flavor to be odd.

Purchased Price: $3.68 each
Size: 7.9 oz. bags
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Salted Caramel)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Strawberries & Creme)
Nutrition Facts: (3 mini cakes) Salted Caramel – 230 calories, 100 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein. Strawberries & Creme – 250 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Oreo Chocolate Crunch State Fair Cookies

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Oreo Chocolate Crunch State Fair Cookie

I was watching the Food Network recently, and one of the dozens of “Best of…” programs was featuring State Fair food. I hadn’t been to so much as a county fair in a long time, so I was not mentally prepared for the monuments to gluttony that I saw.

The last time I checked, funnel cake with powdered sugar or maybe an extra long churro was peak-indulgence. I’m not complaining, but we’re living in a world with fried cheesecake hot fudge sundaes topped with caramel, pralines, brownie pieces, and whipped cream, so I needed to reorient my worldview.

When I saw Oreo’s new Chocolate Crunch State Fair Cookies at Walmart, I knew I had to try to try them. Can the State Fair experience be recreated at home?

Oreo Chocolate Crunch State Fair Cookie 2

There are two cooking instructions on the box, conventional and microwave oven, so in the interest of experiencing everything these cookies had to offer, I tried both methods. The conventional oven preparation is pictured on the left and microwave on the right. I’m pleased that neither preparation has resulted in Oreo Crème leaking out the sides. I get inordinately angry at burst filling.

Right out of the oven, the scent immediately reminds me of french toast sticks. That’s a bit…strange, but not too off-putting. As I bite into it, my first impression is of chicken nuggets.

What?

No, the sharp chocolaty sweetness is quickly apparent, followed by the filling’s mild creaminess. So, they taste like Oreo cookies, but what’s going on here? Both the conventional and microwave oven samples share the same aroma, and I realize that what I’m detecting the ubiquitous essence that all deep fried and frozen snacks share, like fryer oil that should’ve been changed sooner. These also have the soggy breading that is the fate of so many other freezer-to-oven items.

Oreo Chocolate Crunch State Fair Cookie 3

These are not the little morsels of bliss that I was hoping for, so I decide to deconstruct them in an effort to see where everything went wrong. The crème is ordinary Oreo filling that thankfully never gets too hot or melty. (Imagine burning your tongue on molten crème filling.) The Oreo cookie is plain Oreo cookie that’s a bit soggy. The breading is plain breading that, despite the name, doesn’t taste like chocolate and never gets very crunchy. Combine all this and you get something that’s edible, but doesn’t even surpass common Oreo cookies, much less something you could get at a State Fair.

In the end, these State Fair Oreo Cookies are a bit disappointing. Perhaps Food Network programming has set my expectations for decadence too high. Will normal deserts now turn to ash in my mouth, forcing me to seek ever-loftier sensual delights until the line between pleasure and pain, virtue and vice are blurred? I dunno, but normal Oreo still taste pretty good, so I’m probably safe.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookies – 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: 10 oz. box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Warm Oreo Crème doesn’t leak out the sides and is very tasty.
Cons: Odd-yet-familiar deep-fried frozen item scent and flavor. Doesn’t get very crisp even in a very hot oven.

QUICK REVIEW: Hershey’s Waffle Layer Crunch Dulce de Leche and Strawberry

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1 Hershey Waffle pkg

What is it?

Hershey’s has taken their chunky Cookie Layer Crunch bars (crunchy cookie bits + crème layer + traditional Hershey chocolate coating), given them new strawberry and dulce de leche crème layers and replaced the cookie bits with waffle cone pieces.

2 Hershey Waffle bars

3 Hershey Waffle Dulce

How is it?

Everything about these bars feels average. The dulce de leche and strawberry crème flavors weren’t particularly authentic, bright or rich. Just a run-of-the-mill caramel-y vanilla and Nesquick-style strawberry flavor. If you hate fake strawberry, I recommend you skip this bar.

4 Hershey Waffle cones

The waffle cone bits have a good crunch, but don’t texturally resemble waffle cones – they’re too thick. I can’t even see any telltale ridges on them. Without seeing the wrapper, I would identify these as cookie bits.

As noted in our

Is there anything else I need to know?

There’s a lot of air inside these bars. The solid crème layer does not really interact with the physically uneven crunch layer – it sits atop it, leaving empty space. Not a huge deal, but is a bit disappointing in a small bar.

5 Hershey Waffle Strawberry

Each bag contains 9 mini-bars, which felt like a good amount.

6 Hershey Waffle contents

Conclusion:

They taste OK and are new flavors in this series, but there’s nothing great or novel about them – and isn’t that why we’re all here? If you’re a diehard Cookie Layer Crunch fan, they’re worth a try. If not, there’s more interesting chocolates out there.

Purchased Price: $4.95
Size: 6.3 oz. bag of mini-bars
Purchased at: Hershey’s Chocolate World
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 mini-bars) 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, 17 grams added sugars and 3 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard

What is it?

A new Blizzard gracing the menu for September, snickerdoodle cookie dough and cinnamon sugar mixed with vanilla soft serve.

How is it?

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard reminds me of the fantasy football draft I participated in while eating it. The prospect of cinnamon sugar cookie dough leaves me salivating just as a new season’s roster full of fantasy goodness does. Unfortunately, both end the same way as well —- with me chagrined.

Dairy Queen clearly spent its first pick on cinnamon sugar rather than invest in a bell-cow cookie dough. The base presents a heavy cinnamon flavor that pervades throughout in spite of DQ fumbling at thoroughly mixing my Blizzard. Meanwhile, the promised sugar teammate provides the distinct crunch and fun grit that one expects to find in a snickerdoodle.

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard 2

Despite the hot start, the cookie dough fails to impress. While it contains the standard soft and gritty DQ texture, whatever innate flavor the dough possesses is entirely overwhelmed by the cinnamon sugar ice cream. Furthermore, the pieces lack any hint of the tanginess found in a traditional snickerdoodle cookie. Rather than serving as a star player, this relegates the dough to a flex spot. This predictably caps the Blizzard’s upside. And I realized this as I was being kicked out of a league for trying to draft Cookie Monster at QB.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard is the only new offering on Dairy Queen’s Fall Blizzard Menu. Also available are the returning

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough Blizzard 3

Dairy Queen replicates the superficial elements of a snickerdoodle cookie, but it fails to capture enough of its spirit to truly impress. The end of the cup didn’t leave me dejectedly crying in the shower like this year’s draft, but it isn’t taking home the Shiva Bowl Trophy either.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Mini
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Mini) 400 calories, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, .5 gram of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 42 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders

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McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders

I love the insolence of Honey BBQ.

Think about it. In an oversaturated food landscape where barbeque has become hyper-regionalized, all about the smoke, and increasingly shaped by other cuisines, Honey BBQ announces itself as unapologetically one-note.

Where other barbecue sauces hit you with a variety of flavors from fruity to tangy to smoky to hot, Honey BBQ essentially announces itself as the potluck contribution of Winnie the Pooh.

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders 2

At the risk of glancing over the “Spicy” in McDonald’s new Sweet N’ Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders, that’s basically the story with the latest LTO from the Golden Arches. Sure, there’s a slight kick of cayenne on the backend of the tenders, but it’s more “hmm” than anything else.

Heatseekers be warned, these are not a reincarnation of Chick-fil-A’s unicornish Spicy Chicken Nuggets. If you’re looking for genuine heat, these are not the tenders you’re looking for.

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders 4

The thing is, they don’t have to be. The first bite of the first tender was chicken tender heaven. Suddenly, marketing buzzwords like “crispy,” “juicy,” and even the highly suspect, if not potentially reprehensible, “finger licking” carry meaning beyond a 30-second radio spot cliché.

McDonald s Sweet N Spicy Honey BBQ Glazed Tenders 3

For chicken tender aficionados, that first bite is less a taste sensation and more a moment, as if the combined flavors of every horrible-for-you food came together and created a slow-motion music video of you chomping away.

The glaze, meanwhile, is a double-edged sword, one that invites you to lick the sticky-sweet goo as you would a popsicle, but at the cost of precious crispiness on the part of the tender’s breading. While excellent as far as Honey BBQ goes, the sauce was inconsistently applied.

While I’d avoid sticking the c-word label on the tenders, I’ll be the first to admit that to some taste buds they may seem cloying. Such is the biological reductionism of Honey BBQ, which functions at its best when paired with crispy, fatty foods like those $1 Wise Honey BBQ potato chips it sells at Dollar General, or, as I’ve found, boneless all-white meat chicken strips at McDonald’s.

If you can make peace with this, you will like these tenders. If not, well, there’s always a petition to get Chick-fil-A’s spicy nuggets to go national.

(Nutrition Facts – 4 pieces – 640 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 105 milligrams of cholesterol, 1780 milligrams of sodium, 63 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 35 grams of sugar, and 39 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: 4-piece
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nails the Honey BBQ flavor. Addictively saucy. Tenders stay fairly crispy despite excess moisture. Gives “all-white meat” a good name.
Cons: Spice is modest and not exactly caliente. Inconsistent saucing. Terribly, terribly messy to eat.

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