QUICK REVIEW: Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic

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Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic

What is Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic?

I guess I’m out of the Wendy’s loop because I wasn’t even aware of its S’Awesome sauce that was

How is it?

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic 2

Eager to try what the advertising calls a “sweet, smoky, tangy sauce” on my single-size burger, I couldn’t really taste it over the heavy saltiness of the bacon. I peeked under the bun and saw a very thin, practically non-existent spread of S’Awesome across the bread. At this point, to me, it tasted like a bacon burger that cost a bit too much at $5.19.

However, I got brave and went to the counter and requested a small cup of S’Awesome sauce which they generous acquiesced to. I used it as a dipping sauce for my burger, which made all the difference in the world. A little dab won’t do. You need a deluge of sauce to get the full power of S’Awesome, which I’m all for.

Is there anything else I need to know?

In addition to the single variety that I purchased, there’s also a double and triple if you need that much Wendy’s meat in your life. There’s also the calorically dangerous S’Awesome Bacon Fries, covered in chunky bacon and S’Awesome sauce. (I’d love to see the S’Awesome sauce as a goopy baked potato topping. That would be truly S’Awesome.)

Conclusion:

Wendy's S'Awesome Bacon Classic 3

What I’m slowly learning is that, when it comes to these sauce-heavy sandwiches, it’s completely up to the sandwich-maker how much they’re going to put on it. In this case, surprisingly any. But, by requesting a cup of S’Awesome sauce and remedying a small manufacturing error, it made Wendy’s S’Awesome Bacon Classic a tasty little burger. However, next time I might get a free cup of S’Awesome sauce and Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and call it a day.

Purchased Price: $5.19
Size: Single
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 640 calories, 40 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1390 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee Thins

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Dunkin' Coffee Thins

Caffeine helps with mental focus, and you can tell when someone needs some. For example, I can tell the folks who designed the packaging for Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coffee Thins didn’t get enough.

How do I know?

On the back of the packaging, it says, “Each individually wrapped coffee thin has 60 calories.” But, according to the nutrition facts on the packaging, under that disclosure, a serving of THREE pieces has 170 calories. I dusted off the math portion of my brain and determined that 60 times 3 does not equal 170.

Just kidding. I used the calculator app on my phone. Who does math in their head nowadays?

I imagine caffeinated minds would’ve caught this discrepancy. Or maybe the folks who came up with the packaging got their caffeine from a serving of Dunkin’ Donuts’ Coffee Thins, which doesn’t have a lot. The amount in each one is a more surprising number than the inconsistent calorie total presented in the nutrition facts.

There are 7 milligrams of caffeine per piece. It’s not missing a digit. It’s not a typo.

7.

Okay, that might not be a surprising number to you, but it is to me because I’ve tried other coffee thins that claim a serving of three has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee (85-95 milligrams). The only way a person could get that much with these would be by eating the entire bag of twelve, which would give them (checks calculator app on phone) 84 milligrams and, maybe, a stomachache. But, the weird thing is, one company, Tierra Nueva, makes all coffee thins, so it’s strange the caffeine content differs.

Dunkin' Coffee Thins 2

However, the lack of caffeine might explain why these are less bitter than the others I’ve tried. If you’re not familiar with coffee thins, they have the consistency of chocolate, but are made from coffee beans. With these, they taste as if there’s less coffee in them. It’s more like sweetened coffee with a little bit of cream, making them easier to eat and tasty.

I know I spent a lot of time writing about the Dunkin’ Coffee Thins’ caffeine content, but that’s the most disappointing aspect of this treat. It creamy, sweet, and has a flavor that I enjoy, but the lack of caffeine makes it hard to me to recommend. The whole point of it is to get an energy boost, which I didn’t get after eating a serving. Seven milligrams might do it for some people, but not for me.

Purchased Price: $6.99 (on sale)
Size: 4.2 oz. bag/12 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (3 pieces) 170 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 15 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes and Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

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Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes

Except for starting with the third letter of the alphabet, there is no reason whatsoever for clams and candy canes to go together. But don’t tell that to the folks at Archie McPhee, a Seattle-based company that specializes in all things weird, including candy canes. They have unleashed a diabolical digestive debacle known as the Clamdy Cane (yes, it’s clam-flavored candy).

Archie McPhee Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

The company also birthed a sibling, a slightly less heinous mac & cheese-flavored variety, which joined a candy cane family that already included bacon, pickle, rotisserie chicken, coal (apparently smoke and cinnamon-flavored) and Krampus (also cinnamon).

For this review of the two new flavors, I tackled the challenge with equal parts excitement and fear. I consider myself to be open-minded about a great many things, including trying unique foods. Even so, it was hard not to be a little concerned that these would be biblically bad.

With that said, let’s establish that this review is not really about if these, particularly the clammy concoction, taste “good.” You don’t buy barf-flavored jelly beans or turkey and gravy soda because you think it will be delicious (trust me, it’s not), you buy it so you can say you did and that you tried it. So I did, and I did.

Clamdy Canes

Archie McPhee Clamdy Canes 2

The McPhee website says Clamdy Canes are “gray and white.” However, I found that woefully insufficient and humbly suggest a more accurate white and “dirty paint water.” I know, that probably won’t fit on a crayon, but I couldn’t help thinking the color looked like that nasty slurry after you’ve rinsed a paint brush a dozen times.

I’m happy to report that the Clamdy Canes do taste better than dirty paint water (don’t ask how I know), but it’s not exactly a convincing victory. Surprisingly, there was not much of a smell to these, at least at first. If you really try, you can get a whiff of something if you almost put it up your nose. I couldn’t place the smell, but I wouldn’t call it pleasant. Oddly, after a few licks, the scent comes out, and it’s still not pleasant. I wouldn’t say it smells like clams; it reminded me of warm, flat beer.

As for the taste, it wasn’t bad, and it was certainly better than I thought it would be. There was a hint of a fishy-like taste, but it wasn’t overwhelming or off-putting. It had a subtler sweetness compared to a traditional candy cane, and after you get past the initial thought of “ewww, I’m eating a clam-flavored candy cane,” it was palatable.

But I was a little disappointed that it didn’t taste a bit clammier and grosser. Instead, it was almost like one of those mucous-colored hard candies you see sitting in a bowl on a reception desk that you grab because you can’t pass up free candy. You pop one in your mouth but have no idea what flavor it is and would struggle to describe it to someone.

Did I finish the whole Clamdy Cane? No, but if I didn’t have the mac & cheese flavor to look forward to I could have.

Mac & Cheese Candy Canes

The mac & cheese variety had the same sneaky lack of smell at first until after my tongue caressed it. For this one, the smell is spot-on, at least for the fluorescent orange powered mac & cheese in a box, not your grandma’s homemade stuff.

Archie McPhee Mac & Cheese Candy Canes 2

But for as much as it nailed the smell, the taste was a letdown. If not for the aroma and the packaging, I’m not sure I’d even be able to place it as mac & cheese. Like the clam one, the flavor wasn’t bad. It had a nice, mild sweetness to it, but no real discernible taste and not one that reminds you of creamy, cheesy dish. The best description I can do is if you licked a regular candy cane and swirled it around Fun Dip-style in a bag of Cheetos.

Archie McPhee Mac Cheese Candy Canes and Clamdy Canes

Overall, it’s tricky to score these. On taste alone, they are not bad, but neither one hits the mark as far as what was advertised on the box, though it could be argued that’s a good thing, particularly for the Clamdy Canes. And I do give Archie McPhee points for coming up with a couple of new flavors that stand out in a crowded field of crazy candy concoctions. So as a tasty treat that satisfies your craving for mac & cheese or clams, these are a hard pass. But as a fun holiday gift or prank, even Santa might be tempted to have a box or two on hand.

(Nutrition Facts – Not listed on package.)

Purchased Price: $5.95 each (plus $4.95 total shipping)
Size: 3.8 oz. box for a 6 pack
Purchased at: mcphee.com
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Clamdy)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Mac & Cheese)
Pros: Not nearly as disgusting as you might expect. Would work well for those stupid gift exchanges at work or among family.

Cons: Bad wordplay on the McPhee website for the Clamdy Canes, including “your family will clamor for them” and “one shell of a candy.” The dancing clam with a Santa hat is a bit disturbing.

REVIEW: Reese’s Puffs Treats (2018)

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Reese's Puffs Treats 2018

The reborn Reese’s Puffs Treats have cocoa and real Reese’s Peanut Butter. But don’t automatically think this is going to taste anything like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

As a wise man once said, “Don’t go looking to obtain something that can be easily obtained without looking.” Okay, I pulled that line out of the air, and I hope I’m not plagiarizing some minor Greek thinker. But what I’m trying to say philosophically is, why expect something to taste like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup when you can easily get that with the actual candy?

With that said, I’m someone who thinks Reese’s Peanut Butter doesn’t taste like the gritty stuff inside the famous candy. So I’m not expecting this cereal bar to be anything like the iconic candy. I’m also one of those people who, despite running a junk food blog for almost 15 years, did not try the original Reese’s Puffs Treats that

Reese's Puffs Treats 2018 2

Reese's Puffs Treats 2018 3

As I mentioned at the beginning of the review, this new version has real Reese’s Peanut Butter, but it’s not just in the stuff drizzled on top and dipped on the bottom. It’s also in the cereal, and there are Reese’s Peanut Butter-flavored chips. It’s a triple threat treat. Okay, say that five times really fast.

Triple threat treat. Triple tret treat. Tripper tret treet. Turple threat treat. Thurple thrat treat.

All that Reese’s Peanut Butter goodness amounts to a cereal bar that makes me say, “Oh, my goodness.”

If you enjoy Reese’s Puffs Cereal, you will adore this. It’s like eating an enhanced bowl of the cereal. The combination of peanut buttery coating, chips, and cereal create a nutty kick that makes it taste as if the I was eating a bowl of Reese’s Puffs with the leftover milk from a bowl of Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch.

Yes, with all that nuttiness, the cocoa takes a backseat. I’m not talking a car backseat. I’m talking school bus backseat. It’s hardly noticeable, but I hardly care because these are so good that my lack of willpower caused me to inhaled three of them within two hours of purchase.

As for its texture, it’s what you’d expect from a prepackaged mass-produced bar made with ingredients that have enough moisture to soften the usually crunchy texture of the cereal slightly. It’s not like chomping on dry cereal, but it’s also not super soft.

Overall, Reese’s Puffs Treats, the reboot, is a tasty snack that’ll satisfy fans of the cereal.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8 bars/box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 100 calories, 35 calories from fat, 4 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Brach’s Unicorn Horns and Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn

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Brach's Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn

What are Brach’s Unicorn Horns and Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn?

Brach’s has joined

Brach's Dragon's Teeth Candy Corn

Also joining the party is Dragon’s Teeth Candy Corn, which has yellow and brown candies that taste like chocolate, and red and white candies that taste like strawberry.

How are they?

Brach's Unicorn Horns Fruity Candy Corn 2

Let’s start with the Unicorn Horns. Although it says there are five fruity flavors, it doesn’t identify what those flavors are. The yellow and lighter orange are obviously lemon and orange. The darker orange is either mango or melon. The pink might be strawberry? And I assume the purple is grape, but I can’t taste that.

These aren’t plain fruit flavors; they’re more of a fruit and cream. The yellow and both oranges have a satisfying taste, and the yellow is noticeably softer than the other colors. The pink is OK, but I don’t care for the purple. Overall, though, it’s a delightful candy amalgamation, in part for the kitsch factor.

Brach's Dragon's Teeth Candy Corn 2

Now for the Dragon’s Teeth. (It’s just one dragon, apparently.) The chocolate ones taste the same as the Harvest Corn (formerly known as Indian Corn). The strawberry ones have a decidedly artificial flavor; I would have guessed it was cherry. Unlike the Unicorn Horns, there is no creaminess to it. It’s an OK combination.

Is there anything else I need to know?

The Unicorn Horns have a disclaimer that “no unicorns were harmed in the making of this product.” There is no such disclaimer for the Dragon’s Teeth. So I’m guessing Brach’s actually had to slay the dragon.

Conclusion:

I liked Brach’s Unicorn Horns more than I expected. They remind me of the Starburst Candy Corn from a few years ago. But you can take a pass on the Dragon’s Teeth.

Purchased Price: $1.69 each
Size: 9 oz. bags
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Unicorn Horns)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Dragon’s Teeth)
Nutrition Facts: (15 pieces) Unicorn Horns – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar (including 23 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein. Dragon’s Teeth – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar (including 21 grams of added sugars), and 0 grams of protein.
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