QUICK REVIEW: Auntie Anne’s Birthday Cake Pretzel Nuggets

Auntie Anne s Birthday Cake Pretzel Nuggets

What are Auntie Anne’s Birthday Cake Pretzel Nuggets?

Mall-pretzel-mecca Auntie Anne’s is rolling out the winning flavor of its “Pretzel Nation Creation” crowd-sourcing contest. Just in time for the company’s 30th birthday, Birthday Cake Pretzel Nuggets have vanilla dust, chocolate drizzle and funfetti sprinkles.

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How are they?

What immediately jumps out of this birthday cake is the chocolate syrup. While it says “made with Ghirardelli,” this tasted just like the childhood classic Hershey’s syrup. I’m generally not a big fan, and I didn’t think it belonged in a birthday cake flavored item. To me, birthday cake is vanilla, butter, milk and maybe a hint of cream cheese or almond.

The vanilla dust on these nuggets was more like vanilla sugar, which was fine. It was a nice middle-of-the-road vanilla flavor and did a good job of making itself known. The sprinkles were the flat round type – formally called quins – in bright pastels. Very cheerful.

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A friend who tried these with me suggested an all-over glaze might’ve been better, and I agree. Vanilla buttermilk frosting glaze poured over each nugget would’ve screamed birthday cake and been a great sticky landing pad for those sprinkles.

This was my first time trying the nugget format of Auntie Anne’s pretzels. The flavor was good, but they weren’t as soft at the traditional, large, knot-shaped pretzels.

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Is there anything else I need to know?

Because the nuggets are placed in the cup before “birthdayization,” your sprinkle and vanilla experience will be limited to the 3-4 nuggets on top. The syrup works its way down, but there will likely be some blanks at the bottom.

Conclusion:

Auntie Anne’s Birthday Cake Pretzel Nuggets are definitely a mall food – new but still really familiar, cute but institutional, with a tinge of missed opportunity.

Purchased Price: $5.69
Size: 16 oz. cup
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (16 oz. cup) 530 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 340 milligrams of sodium, 106 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 40 grams of total sugars, and 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Peppermint Bark Oreo

Limited Edition Peppermint Bark Oreo Cookies

Hey, did you guys finish your Halloween ensemble yet?

Are you starting to think about which side dishes you’re gonna be cooking up for Thanksgiving?

Well, guess what? None of that matters anymore, because it’s officially Christmas season.

Sorry, but I don’t make the rules, Nabisco does, and with the release of new Peppermint Bark Oreo, you might as well start duct-taping the Christmas lights to your gutter. It’s here. There’s no fighting it.

Peppermint Bark still feels like a relatively new thing to me. I feel like I never had it until about a decade ago, but it has already become one of my winter staples.

Chocolate and peppermint have always been a winning combo. But there’s something about the mix of white and dark chocolate with those peppermint pieces that do it for me. It’s as if someone reinvented a Hershey-style bar AND the candy cane while improving on both of them. (Hershey’s Candy Cane bar is also excellent.)

Peppermint Bark feels like a natural progression for the Oreo assembly line, and I couldn’t be more excited to try ’em.

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This probably goes without saying, but these cookies smell fantastic. Just imagine that waft you get when tearing open a sleeve of Thin Mints because the scent is identical to that.

You get your standard chocolate Oreo wafers that are “always made with real cocoa” according to the packaging. Perhaps someone was calling the validity of the chocolate into question, so they felt the need to reassure everyone. I guess it’s nice to know.

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While you can never go wrong with the iconic chocolate Oreo, the peppermint flavored crème is the star of the show here. It toes the line between minty and sweet nicely. I’m always a bit nervous companies will go overboard with the peppermint oil, and leave me feeling like I ate an Altoid instead of a cookie.

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Not only does it taste good, it’s crispy. Yes, “Crispy Crème,” which I’m pretty sure Nabisco couldn’t flaunt due to trademark laws. The crème is peppered with sugar crystals that mimic peppermint candies. They give it a nice little crunch, and unlike actual candy canes, don’t chew like shards of glass.

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Nabisco’s willingness to get creative with the crème has been my favorite thing about this seemingly endless Oreo-issance. Whether it be adding

I know Oreo has had mint flavors in the past, but they’ve perfected it here. Peppermint Bark Oreo Cookies are a winner.

Here’s hoping these last on shelves long into the new year. If you love Peppermint Bark, but don’t feel like paying lots of money for the fancy tin it comes in, pick up Peppermint Bark Oreo, it’ll do the trick.

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 10.7 oz. package
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar (includes 13 grams of “added sugar.”) and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Witch’s Brew Frappuccino

Starbucks Witch's Brew Frappuccino

“What’s that? [Bat]’s wart, mmm! And [toad]’s breath? Nothing’s more suspicious than [toad]’s breath! Until you taste it, I won’t follow a spoonful.”

So apparently the folks over at Starbucks weren’t quite creative enough to come up with their own ingredients for the Witch’s Brew Frappuccino, so they had to take worm’s wart and frog’s breath from Sally’s soup on The Nightmare before Christmas, and they replaced the animals to avoid copyright infringement. I’m surprised they didn’t add deadly lampshade in place of deadly nightshade.

According to various official descriptions, this purple concoction also has swamp fog, goblin regret (whatever that is), and lizard scales.

I’ve got to hand it to Starbucks: this is a visually stunning drink. The orange-flavored purple base, the green-colored chia seeds, and the green sugar on top of whipped cream. Purple and green will never overthrow orange and black as the ultimate Halloween colors, but this is a fittingly spooky treat.

Will this brew gain the approval of Samantha Stephens, Winifred Sanderson, Sabrina Spellman, and Minerva McGonagall? Ehh.

While I was waiting for my drink, I overheard the barista talking disparagingly about it with a man who I assume was his boss. I didn’t dislike it like they did, but it wasn’t amazing.

The purple base tastes like generic orange Creamsicle. It was a nice enough flavor, but halfway through my Tall drink, I couldn’t really taste it. I don’t know whether I had sucked all the flavor out (like with a Slurpee), or if I had gotten numb to it. Regardless, the second half wasn’t as tasty as the first.

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The slimy, green chia seeds (bat warts, I assume) were disappointing. They had no flavor, and they seemed out of place in this drink. It’s nice to break up the monotony in a drink like this, but the chia seeds weren’t the best way to do it. At least you’re getting a minuscule amount of nutrients from their presence, right?

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Oddly enough, my favorite part might have been the green-colored sugar (lizard scales?) resting on the whipped cream. I don’t think it’s supposed to taste like anything, but it seemed better than regular sugar. But I doubt you’re supposed to consume it separately.

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If you want to try Starbucks’ Witch’s Brew Frappuccino for the seasonal novelty of it, then go for it. It’s not terrible. I love these holiday gimmicks; also, I don’t drink coffee, so I was glad to have another alternative at Starbucks. It’s a fun offering.

If, however, you’re hoping for a delicious drink, there are better ways to spend five dollars.

Purchased Price: $4.95
Size: Tall
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Tall) 270 calories, 100 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 35 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, and 0 milligrams of caffeine.

QUICK REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee

Dunkin Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee

What is the Dunkin’ Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee?

A limited edition, pumpkin spice-flavored addition to Dunkin’s bottled iced coffee line that made its debut early last year. This is the second new flavor introduced this year, the first being

How is it?

Unlike the previously mentioned Cookies & Cream flavor, which didn’t taste like what it’s supposed to, this one tastes exactly like how it’s supposed to. From the first sip, the familiar spices — ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves — coat my tongue much like brown and orange leaves cover the ground during fall.

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It tastes like I’m eating pumpkin pie with a glass of iced coffee that’s medium on the cream while I sit on my porch watching the fall breezes make those orange and brown leaves dance in my yard at a party I’ll have to clean up later with a rake. I very much enjoyed drinking it, but it’s also not that different from other pumpkin spice iced coffee drinks I’ve had.

If you stuck an incomplete jack-o-lantern on my head with the mouth cut out to act as a blindfold and had me drink various pumpkin spice iced coffees available from stores and fast food chains, I don’t think my taste buds would be able to determine which is which. It’s like finding an orange leaf on the ground with all the other fallen leaves, raking them into a pile, and then trying to find that leaf.

Is there anything else I need to know?

Apparently, I’m REALLY into fall leaf imagery right now. Maybe because we on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean don’t experience fall as most of the United States does.

For you caffeineheads, all 13.7 fluid ounces will get you 187 milligrams of caffeine. So make your heart rate spike with pumpkin spice.

Conclusion:

The Dunkin’ Donuts Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Bottled Iced Coffee is a pleasant way to sip the fall flavor, but nothing stands out about it. It’s just another good option to get one’s pumpkin spice coffee fix.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 13.7 fl. oz.
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 260 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 100 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 39 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Nightmare King and Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry

Burger King Nightmare King

Three years ago, Burger King unleashed its HA1loween Whopper on the masses. The steak-sauce slathered burger was really no different from the franchise’s marquee product, save one characteristic: the bun itself was pitch black. We’re talking darker than the other side of midnight or a lump of coal’s shadow.

That is, until customers started reporting some rather, uh, unsavory side effects associated with the product. And like that, the HA1loween Whopper went from being the All Hallows’ Eve junk food extravaganza of 2015 to forever being known as “that one hamburger that turned everybody’s turds turquoise.”

Well, BK has been hard at work over the last three years refining the general idea of the HA1loween Whopper, and they return this Spooktober with a steak sauce-less variation with a totally overhauled gimmick.

This time around, the revamped and rebranded Nightmare King instead comes with a glowing, algae-green bun, an extra piece of protein and a brand promise that ingesting the burger will give you ACTUAL nightmares. As in, BK even commissioned a real sleep study to prove that eating this Hallow-burger will inspire bad dreams, which has to be the single most bizarre fast food marketing hook I’ve heard of, well, probably ever.

But beyond all of the advertising hullabaloo and the empirical shock of gawping at what appears to be a radioactive Whopper, does the Nightmare King actually deliver the gustatory goods as a limited time only product?

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For starters, it’s almost impossible to describe the actual color of the hamburger bun. Sorry folks, but these photos don’t do the item justice. It’s not quite a lush, verdant green; it’s more of an off-copper gold-green. If Burger King sought to make this sucker look like poisonous fungi, it nailed it out of the park.

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Of course, the hamburger bun, outside of its serpent-like sheen, tastes just like any old sesame seed sandwich. It’s a missed opportunity, in my eyes; I mean, if you’re going to release a bun the same color as swamp algae, wouldn’t you want to make it taste at least somewhat like guacamole or wasabi?

Regardless, the sandwich itself — the Halloween gimmick aside — is astonishingly decent. The Nightmare King is a huge mamajama consisting of a flame-grilled beef patty, a crispy chicken patty, an absolute TON of bacon, a nice slathering of American cheese, a hearty helping of onions and a generous dollop of mayonnaise.

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Needless to say, it’s a VERY filling sandwich that would be as tasty sans the reptilian-tinted bun. It wouldn’t be surprising to see BK re-release this one a little later down the line with a more traditional bun. The dressings may scream “novelty,” but rest assured this is a damn delicious burger, no matter the time of year.

Burger King Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry

Lost amid all the hubbub about the Nightmare King, though, is the fact BK has wheeled out another spooky-themed L.T.O. to mark the 2018 Samhain season. And although it ain’t getting as much publicity as the franchise’s other holiday-hued offering, the Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry drink is one seasonal treat you don’t want to sleep on.

Effectively a cherry-limeade slush, this thing looks and tastes the way an L.T.O. Hallow-product ought to. It has a nice, velvety, blackish-purple sheen to it, and the half tart-half fruity flavor gives it a nice Jekyll and Hyde dynamic.

And considering the Nightmare King packs a jaw-dropping 1,800-plus milligrams of sodium, you’ll DEFINITELY need to have one of these things on hand to counteract that demonic dry mouth sensation, for sure.

Purchased Price: $6.29 (Nightmare King) $1.00 (Small Frozen Fanta)
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Nightmare King)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Frozen Fanta)
Nutrition Facts: (Nightmare King) – 1,020 calories, 65 grams of fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,890 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 51 grams of protein. (Small Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry) – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 grams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 33 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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