QUICK REVIEW: Coca-Cola Clear (Japan)

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Coke Clr

What is Coca-Cola Clear?

I’m in Japan – the mecca of novelty junk food! Of course, I sought out some new and quirky offerings. Coca-Cola has introduced a colorless version of its signature pop – trailing a quarter of a century behind Pepsi in the clear soda arms race. Without all that pesky caramel-y cola, it’s billed as lemon-flavored and is a zero-calorie drink. It is currently only available in Japan.

How is it?

Right out of the bottle, the aroma veers away from the usual Coke. It’s milder with a low-level citrus smell.

Coke Clr 2

I was expecting something with a strong lemon taste, ala Sprite or 7Up, but this was subtler – like squeezing a lemon wedge into your already-sweet seltzer water and adding a dash of cola. Despite the lemon base, it was identifiable as a Coke derivative and had the same sweeteness level, but was lighter and brighter than regular Coca-Cola. It didn’t have the neon citrus feel of other sodas.

While not unpleasant, Coca-Cola Clear failed to establish its own flavor personality. Hence, it’s easier to describe what it ISN’T – it’s not cola, it’s not un-cola. Because of this vagueness of character, I wondered why this? Why now? Is 2018 the right time just because Coke hadn’t done it yet?

Coke Clr 3

Is there anything else you need to know?

Be prepared for the pop. The Coke products I sampled in Japan were packaged in a way that caused the initial rush of gasses out of the bottles to be downright explosive. My travel companion and I startled each other all week with the loud cracks of Coke bottles opening.

Conclusion:

Overall, an OK lightly lemon soda, but as Dr. Ian Malcolm would say – Coca-Cola scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should. Try it if you’re a hardcore noveltyist, but only one bottle.

Purchased Price: 48 yen (approx. 69 cents US)
Size: 500 ml bottle (17 oz.)
Purchased at: MEGA Don Quijote Shibuya, Tokyo
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (100 ml) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 0 grams of total sugars and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner

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Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner

Snack scalpers.

They’re the only way you’ll be able to get your hands on a Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner Set. Because it sold out in under an hour after it became available for purchase exclusively on the online Kellogg’s Store.

That’s crazy, right?

It’s crazy there’s a Kellogg’s online store. I had no idea. You can get a box of Frosted Flakes or Pop-Tarts with your photo on it, Eggo waffle socks, Tony the Tiger slippers, and so much more. I want to get a box of Frosted Flakes with a photo of me holding up a box of Frosted Flakes that also has a photo of me holding a box of Frosted Flakes.

Oh, you’re wondering why I’m not amazed by Thanksgiving-flavored Pringles and the fact that it sold out in less than an hour? Well, there have been Thanksgiving-flavored chips before,

But, is it worth spending (checks eBay) $50-$100 to get your hands on these cans?

Um, no.

But you can experience these chips vicariously through me, which is completely free. Okay, not entirely free. If you think time is money, then this review will take up 3-5 minutes of your time/money.

Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner 2

The Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner Set features three flavors — Turkey, Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie. Sadly, no cranberry, corn on the cob, candied yams, mashed potato, or tears shed from another Thanksgiving dinner fight. But the three in the set taste like what I’d expect from the obligatory portions of a Thanksgiving dinner.

Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner Turkey in Can

Turkey Pringles are savory and herbaceous with the flavor of the bird lurking in the back. While they’re tasty and remind me of turkey, a couple of other thoughts popped into my head. Why do I sometimes think of soup while chewing on them? And, they could also be mistaken for Stuffing Pringles.

Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner Stuffing in Can

The Stuffing one is a little herbaceous with a slight poultry-ness and tastes exactly like that popular stove top-prepared dish — Nissin Top Ramen Chicken. It’s as if Pringles took last year’s wonderful

Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner Pumpkin Pie in Can

Finally, we come to Pumpkin Pie, which has

Besides daring you to spend $15 (its retail price) for what equals to the same amount of Pringles you can get for $1-$2, Pringles also dares you to stack all three into THE ULTIMATE THANKSGIVING STACK. Is it gross? Since turkey and stuffing being in the same bite is common at Thanksgiving, and the Pumpkin Pie spices are fleeting, it’s not.

Overall, Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner has some Willy Wonka-like magic on them. If it ends up in stores next year, it’s worth a try.

So there, I saved you $50-$100. You’re welcome. Happy Thanksgiving!

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way. After seeing the prices it was going for on eBay, I thought about selling it, but Kellogg’s would’ve been upset with me if I did.

Purchased Price: Received from Kellogg’s
Size: 3 1.4 oz. cans
Purchased at: Was available on Kellogg’s online store
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Turkey – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Stuffing – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 260 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Pumpkin Pie – 210 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Sugar Cookie PEZ Candy

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Sugar Cookie PEZ

What are Sugar Cookie PEZ?

Pressed dextrose hyperrectangles promising to taste like sweet, crisp sugar cookies. They are predominantly made of corn syrup and natural flavors and very well might steal a spot on your Santa cookie plate.

Sugar Cookie PEZ crunchies of sorrow

How are they?

Munching in, I’m… well, disheartened. It’s got the classic crunchy sweetness of PEZ, but tastes of very little. It’s not a sugar cookie flavor so much as it is a really crunchy Smartie. Not a fruity Smartie. The little taste-free white ones. Yes, it is very, very sugary (like a sugar cookie), but it comes without the key buttery nuttiness found in the aforementioned baked good.

I was hoping for something distinguishable, perhaps even a sweeter version of Popcorn Jelly Bellies, but these are just corn syrup with a bit of crunch and humbuggery.

Is there anything else you need to know?

These are admirably crunchy, yielding a chomp louder than four bowls of Cap’n Crunch. The dispenser also came with two other flavors so, if one doesn’t strike your fancy, you’ll still have a solid variety of others to give you a sugar burst throughout the day.

Sugar Cookie PEZ humbuggery

Conclusion:

If you like to munch on unflavored, cavity-threatening sugar cubes straight from the bag, let it be known! PEZ has a flavor for you!

Yet, should you be hoping for a little more zing to your sugar cookie-inspired candy, these shall disappoint – they taste of very little aside from the corn syrup and don’t echo the buttery, nutty, sweet-and-salty majesty of sugar cookies enough to warrant them credit.

Moreover, if you leave Sugar Cookie PEZ out on your Christmas cookie plate, they’d make Santa sad. Don’t make Santa sad! Go getcha some Lofthouse cookies and don’t fret if you pass on these.

Sugar Cookie PEZ Pong

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 1 Dispenser with 6 Candy Packets
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 roll) 35 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 0 gram of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up

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Mtn Dew Merry Mash up 2

What is Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up?

Replacing the famed Mtn Dew Holiday Brew from holidays long past, the new limited edition Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up, with its seasonal cranberry-pomegranate flavor, has arrived on store shelves with such a clatter, that I had to spring from my bed to see what was the matter.

How is it?

I have always wondered what Christmas would taste like if you could capture its essence in a much-loved soda pop, and the Merry Mash-Up does, I believe, come pretty close. Imagine, if you will, the sweet blood of Rudolph captured in a bright red 20-ounce bottle for all the children to share; the tangy pomegranate mixes spectacularly well with the tart cranberry, making a drink-mix that finally needs no alcohol to dull its senses.

Even at 290 calories a bottle, I would absolutely add this high-fructose concoction to my Christmas list and check it twice, but, sadly it’s another one of their limited edition flavor collaborations. So, in the fever of the holidays, load up on a few decorative bottles and serve the spirited beverage as your own homemade holiday punch this year. It’ll be our secret.

Mtn Dew Merry Mash-Up

Is there anything else I need to know?

I don’t know why they called it “Merry Mash-Up” when the far superior “Merry X-Mash,” coined by me just now, was available. Call me next year, Dew-makers, and we’ll come up with something equally clever together.

Conclusion:

This crisp step-brother to the Mtn Dew family fully enraptures me. The best one of their raucous limited releases of 2018, this is not the extreme version of the Dew were hyper-used to by now, but, instead, a party-hearty ready blend of joyous holiday flavors, spreading merriment to all who wake up to this in their stocking. Dew bless us, everyone!

Purchased Price: $1.59
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (20 oz.) 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 105 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 77 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..

REVIEW: KFC Chicken & Waffles

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KFC Chicken Waffles

As I wiped the sticky syrup from my fingers using the convenient wet towelette included with my meal, I have to admit I cracked a deeply disturbing yet wholly satisfied smile. Chicken and waffles seem like such a decades-old bandwagon to jump on. The fact that KFC was actually able to create a seasonal masterwork like this has to be a minor holiday miracle, right?

Having sampled this famed coupling all the way from small local diners to the grandfather of them all, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in L.A., no two recipes are ever the same, with KFC falling completely in line.

KFC Chicken Waffles 2

Combining two of the Original Recipe varieties of chicken — a drumstick and thigh, if you will — with a very thick and very heavy mini-waffle, KFC has shined its populous light on a rare dining treat that many people are curious about but might not ever a chance to otherwise enjoy.

Of course, we know that KFC’s chicken is usually tops in this mother-clucking business, so we’ll skip all that for now. The real surprise, the real focus here, has got to be the beautifully vanilla-sweet waffle, a delectable pill that tastes more like a pressed piece of sheet-cake than the archetypical breakfast side. All that’s missing is a heavy dollop of whipped cream.

KFC Chicken Waffles 3

After tearing open my single-serve cup of Mrs. Butterworth’s, I coated back and forth the good-looking eats laid out before me. The runny guzzle of the much-loved pancake topping puddled at the bottom of the black container, letting the chicken and waffles soak in its sugars for a few mouth-teasing minutes.

The thick syrup made the dense waffle into something like a dunked doughnut, soft but sticky and ready to get your fingers dirty. And while that is expected when it comes to waffles, I wasn’t prepared for how the same chemical reaction — both mentally and physically — would work with the Original Recipe chicken. Who could or would have ever guessed just how much the toothsome syrup made a perfect marriage partner with the highly trademarked chicken.

While I ordered the two pieces with one waffle, there was a part of me that wished I had also ordered the delectable looking Hot Honey Chicken Tender Sandwich that uses the brave little waffles as a top and bottom. To Hell with you, Double Down! Leaving the KFC, maybe next time I thought, maybe next time. Cómpralo ya!

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 2 pieces with 1 waffle
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at time of publication.

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