QUICK REVIEW: Perry’s Ice Cream Elf Trash

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Perry's Ice Cream Elf Trash

What is Perry’s Ice Cream Elf Trash?

According to the North Pole’s head elf, Sugarplum Perry, he and his elf brethren “accidentally” raided Santa’s cupboard to create the “yummiest holiday stash.”

How “stash” became “trash” remains a mystery, but you know what they say, “One man’s trash is another elf’s pleasure.*”

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How is it?

Elf Trash made my yuletide gay. I don’t exactly know what that means, and I don’t know if that’s still PC, but I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing.

Speaking of good things, using a flavor base of white chocolate instead of vanilla was an excellent decision. I’d never had Perry’s brand ice cream prior to this, but they seem to have the perfect level of creaminess nailed down.

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The ice cream stood on its own, but the “Elf Trash” Christmas fix-ins brought it to another level. Not only do we get fudge covered pretzels, peanuts, and candies, but crispy pralines too. Each spoonful is loaded with additional bites of varying textures that really make this a happy “accident.”

Is there anything else you need to know?

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While the green and red fudge ornaments give the ice cream its festive look, they’re a tad hard and chalky in the ice cream, and I honestly don’t think the overall product would have suffered without them. This is a nitpick though as they’re still fun and tasty enough. They’re essentially Sixlets without the candy shells.

Other than that, I have no complaints. The sugar crystal coated pralines were perfect, and the hint of salt from the pretzels and Goober-esque peanuts wrapped this all in a delicious bow.

Conclusion:

Don’t let “Trash” fool ya, because you’re not gonna find many better ice creams in the freezer right now. I’d absolutely recommend picking up a pint this Christmas.

*People say this, don’t fact check it. Feel free to fact check Sugarplum Perry’s “head elf” claim.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Wegmans
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 Cup) 240 calories, 15 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 grams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Yoplait Go-Gurt Dunkers

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Yoplait Go-Gurt Dunkers

Yoplait Go-Gurt Dunkers are the brand’s attempt to get children to eat more yogurt, which in turn will help them grow, build strong bones, and allow them to brag at school how they got this cool, new product instead of some passe tube yogurt.

I picked up two varieties —- vanilla yogurt with chocolate graham sticks and strawberry yogurt with honey graham sticks. Yes, they’re not the most creative flavor names for a product line named Dunkers. No Chilla Choco Vanilla or Slammin’ Graham Strawberry? Missed opportunity, Yoplait.

There’s also a cotton candy variety I was unable to obtain at my local Target, which is unfortunate because, of the three, it’s the one I wanted the most.

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Look, it’s yogurt and crackers. I imagine the dairy part is hard to mess up for Yoplait because, with decades of experience, it has yogurt down. It could make a decent batch of the stuff with its eyes closed, hands tied behind its back, and Gilbert Gottfried shouting obscenities at it. And that proof is in the pudding, I mean, yogurt. There aren’t any fruit chunks or vanilla bean specks floating in their respective ‘gurts, but they taste like what I’ve experienced with Yoplait. I know, not surprising.

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So it really comes down to the crackers. They have a light sweetness that’s fine without dipping them into anything. The honey graham ones aren’t quite Honey Maid quality. They’re slightly blander, but it lets the strawberry stand out. As for the chocolate graham sticks, they have a light cocoa flavor that comes through a little when eating it with the vanilla yogurt.

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I imagine the most important question you might be asking yourself is: If I want to steal one from my kids, which one should I pilfer?

If I wanted to ensure my place in Hell and steal Yoplait Go-Gurt Dunkers from your kids, I’d go for the strawberry one. The vanilla one is just, well, too vanilla. If the chocolate sticks stood out more, it would be a different story.

Also, for a brief moment, the vanilla yogurt and chocolate graham tasted as if I was eating an old school Kraft cheese and crackers. You know, the ones that have the red stick to spread the cheese. For reals. It’s fleeting, but I was able to recreate that flavor a few more times.

If you’re trying to get your kids to eat yogurt, Yoplait’s Go-Gurt Dunkers are a tempting way to do so. Too bad General Mills and Mondelez couldn’t do some cross promotion and include Teddy Grahams. Oh wait, dunking Teddy Grahams head first into yogurt is too Salem-esque. Never mind.

Purchased Price: $4.79 each
Size: 4-pack (2.2 oz. trays)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Strawberry)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Vanilla)
Nutrition Facts: (1 tray) Strawberry – 130 calories 2.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. Vanilla – 120 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Kit Kat Chocolatory Special Butter (Japan)

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What is Kit Kat Chocolatory Special Butter?

While in Tokyo recently, I made a stop at the Kit Kat Chocolatory store & café and brought home some goodies. Now, there’s always one errant flavor in the group that everyone raises an eyebrow at and this is it: butter.

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I’ll let the Google translation of the text inside the box describe them: “I kneaded butter powder between the layers of the wafers, making full use of the sweetness of chocolate, I finished it tastefully to feel the richness of butter.”

How is it?

The aroma inside the package reminded me of baking and raw dough. The taste was an instantly familiar one, yet novel to this format – creamed butter. When making cookies, you usually start by mixing sugar and butter together – creaming. Those of us with no willpower are very well-versed in the flavor of creamed butter, and this Kit Kat has captured it perfectly.

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I thought these would be less sweet and heavier on the butter, which is why I wasn’t sure about them at the start. I’m surprised at how much I enjoyed them. If you prefer your sweet/butter ratio on the savory side, you probably won’t like these. But if you’ve had your hand slapped by Mom or Grandma for dipping into the mixing bowl early, you’ll love them.

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Is there anything else you need to know?

I now regret only buying one box.

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Conclusion:

I’ll just say it – I loved Butter Kit Kats. If you’re buying gifts for a baking junkie, track these down. If you’re a novelty junkie, track them down. If you’re a butter junkie, they’ll still make you happy, but not as ecstatic as the baking freaks. But that’s probably OK since your heart might explode if they did.

Purchased Price: 400 yen (approx. $3.52 US)
Size: 46.4 g box (4 mini bars)
Purchased at: Kit Kat Chocolatory main store, Ginza, Tokyo
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 11.6 g bar) 65 calories, 3.8 grams of fat, 4-24 milligrams of sodium, 7.2 grams of carbohydrates, and 0.45 grams of protein.

QUICK REVIEW: Dairy Queen Secret Menu Coffee Oreo Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Secret Menu Coffee Oreo Blizzard

What is the Coffee Oreo Blizzard?

The Coffee Oreo Blizzard fulfills my childhood dream of being an ice cream secret agent. This “secret” menu item tasks my alter ego secret agent DQ7 with requesting coffee syrup to be blended with the standard vanilla base and Oreo cookie pieces.

How is it?

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The basic request for a coffee infusion added a flavor so light that I thought it was undercover itself. A slight mocha note peaks its shy head up in the bites that are light on Oreo magic. A spoonful consisting of cookies galore on the other hand drown out the faint whispers of coffee flavor found in their absence. This raises the vanilla floor, but the Oreo cookie ceiling isn’t even raised enough for Oddjob. The coffee syrup is a pleasant but uninspiring addition.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I take any opportunity to don a tuxedo and affect a terrible, and probably offensive, British accent. It is however completely unnecessary when ordering from the “secret” menu. At least based upon the lack of a convoluted plot to slowly lower me into a gigantic bladed Blizzard stirrer.

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To order the Coffee Oreo Blizzard for yourself, simply ask for coffee syrup to be added to the Oreo Cookie Blizzard. If you want more than just a hint of coffee, ask them to double it. Just don’t ask for it to be shaken and not stirred unless you enjoy exasperated eye rolls. I was not charged extra for the coffee flavoring, but they may have been scared of my license to chill.

Conclusion:

My first mission as a Dairy Queen secret agent ended satisfactorily. Coffee flavor fans will find this hack to be neutral at worst, and at best, an incremental upgrade unworthy of Q. Next time, I will ask for a heavier hand with the java juice.

Purchased Price: $4.19
Size: Medium
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: None available.

REVIEW: Chobani Flip Peanut Butter Cup

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Chobani Flip Peanut Butter Cup

The Chobani Flip Peanut Butter Cup flavor is like dumping your good Halloween candy into Greek yogurt.

Or, to be more exact, it’s tiny peanut butter cups, tinier peanut butter oat clusters, and even tinier fudge coated peanuts you dump into chocolate and peanut butter-flavored low-fat Greek Yogurt.

Let’s start with the chocolate and peanut butter Greek yogurt base. If it was sold separately, I’d pick it up regularly to get my calcium, protein, L. bulgaricus, S. thermophilus, L. acidophilus, bifidus, L. casei, and L. rhamnosus fix. It doesn’t have a strong flavor because the yogurt’s tang cuts through it like a chainsaw into a marshmallow. But it’s mild enough that eating it sans mix-ins was more than fine with me.

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But with that said, the mix-ins are what makes this Chobani Flip perhaps my GOAT. The peanut butter clusters and fudge-covered peanuts slightly amp up the sweet flavors and provide a little crunch. But they pale in comparison to what those tiny peanut butter cups do with the yogurt. They pack a punch that makes you forget there are other types of mix-ins. It’s as if I’m eating a peanut butter cup by itself that happened to get a little Greek yogurt on it.

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With this Chobani Flip variety, you can experience three different levels of chocolate and peanut butter goodness. There’s the yogurt by itself, which would be level one. Then there’s the yogurt with the PB clusters and fudge peanuts, which would be level two. Then there’s the yogurt with just the mini PB cups, which is several chocolatey and peanut buttery levels higher than the others.

All it takes is just one of those tiny PB cups to make a spoonful worthwhile. Unfortunately, there might not be enough of them in every container to make EVERY spoonful worthwhile.

In a nutshell, Peanut Butter Cup the best Chobani Flip flavor I’ve ever had. Although, that could be the sugar in the candy that goes into the Greek yogurt talking. This flavor better be around forever, because if it ever gets discontinued, I’ll eat a large tub of Yoplait Plain Yogurt in protest.

Purchased Price: $1.29
Size: 5.3 oz. container
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

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