REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Cherry Chai Latte

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Spring isn’t here yet, at least not in the Midwest. But Starbucks’ spring menu has us manifesting! This year’s lineup brings back the delicious Lavender beverages – the Iced Lavender Cream Oatmilk Matcha and the Lavender Oatmilk Latte.

But, the new kid on the menu block is Starbucks’ first springtime chai drink—the Iced Cherry Chai. It’s made with black tea infused with cinnamon, clove, and other warming spices, combined with milk and ice, then topped with cherry cream cold foam and a sprinkle of cherry crunch topping.

Starbucks’ overseas locations create stunning cherry blossom beverages, so I had high hopes for this one. That said, cherry-flavored food and drinks in the U.S. can be hit or miss.

As I took my first sip, I kept repeating in my head like a mantra, “Please don’t taste like cough syrup. Please don’t taste like cough syrup.”

The first thing I noticed was how creamy it was. The light pink color made my brain want to expect strawberries and cream, but the flavor was distinctly cherry. Not tart cherry, but the kind you’d find in a baked good – sweet with no sourness at all. So, I can confirm that it does NOT taste like Robitussin cherry-flavored cough syrup.

The chai complemented it perfectly. It wasn’t overly spicy or strong enough to completely wash out the cherry flavor. I also didn’t find it too sweet, which is a compliment! Usually, I have to cut back on syrup pumps, but this one was perfect as-is.

I will say that I didn’t really care for the sprinkle of cherry crunch topping. It only added visual interest and texture, not an additional cherry flavor for me, so it seemed gratuitous.

I typically think of chai as a fall drink (shoutout to my beloved Pumpkin Spice Chai —side note: if you haven’t had one, you must this fall). But they’ve made it work for spring. Kudos.

While I will definitely be drinking more of these in the future, I am excited to try the cherry cold foam itself on more things like a mocha (for cherry chocolate vibes) or even on a matcha.

Purchased Price: $5.45
Size: Tall (12 ounces)
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Tall – 12 oz) 370 calories, 15 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 49 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, and 70 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Domino’s Parmesan Stuffed Crust Pizza

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I like Domino’s Pizza a lot but haven’t ordered it in years. That might seem counterintuitive, but there’s a good reason: I’m a stuffed crust fanatic, and Domino’s doesn’t offer stuffed crust. Or at least it hasn’t… until now. Cue the Parmesan Stuffed Crust!

It’s no exaggeration to say that I literally screamed when I heard the news. The name is a bit misleading, though: the crust is actually stuffed with mozzarella (as can also be found at Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, my grimy college dive with pizza so good I was willing to wait through multiple bar fights for it, etc.).

The parmesan element comes from a parmesan and garlic seasoning sprinkled across the crust. It’s the default for this pie but can be removed if desired… and honestly, I ended up wishing I’d done that. I prefer the simple, mild creaminess of mozzarella to parmesan’s funky saltiness, which was on full display here, so I would have liked to see the stuffed stuff stand on its own, even if that meant forsaking the namesake cheese. But I’m getting ahead of myself!

After surviving what felt like an endless wait for my delivery, I was rewarded with a pizza that was still as piping hot and pristine as if it’d just come out of the oven. My pie looked darker than I expected, but I didn’t mind since it didn’t taste overcooked. In fact, it reminded me why Domino’s is so beloved. The cheese was thick and consistently applied, neither too congealed nor too oozy; the sauce was impressively zesty, with a strong herbal taste that was way more interesting than the pizza I’m used to from other chains; the crust had the floppy, foldable texture I crave, firm enough to hold the weight of all of that goodness while still soft and supple enough not to literally crack under the pressure. But each bite, no matter how wonderful, was a mere appetizer leading up to the main course I came for.

And the stuffed crust was… nice.

Of course, since this pizza had been generating enough hype from me to power a small village, “nice” was not really the reaction I had hoped for. But ultimately, I wanted the cheese in my stuffed crust to be more solid, and this filling, though pleasingly abundant, was too gooey for me. In my opinion, the regular cheese on top of a pizza is already gooey enough, so the stuffed crust is an opportunity to bring something different to the table, and I was sad Domino’s didn’t take that opportunity! And as I mentioned, I found the parmesan unnecessary; it felt more like a marketing gimmick for extra uniqueness rather than an actual value add. Perhaps Domino’s should have considered that the reason other pizza places don’t liberally sprinkle their stuffed crusts with parmesan is because it tastes too overwhelming and distracts from the real star of the show.

But the bottom line is that stuffed crust is great! Domino’s is great! Stuffed crust Domino’s, therefore, is destined to be great! Sure, there are parts I could have enjoyed more, but this was still a dream come true—a pie in the sky, if you will, and even though it shot for the moon and missed for me, it still landed among the stars.

Purchased Price: $16.99
Size: Medium/12-inch (this is the only size available)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available at the time of the review’s publication.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Ice Cream

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Full disclosure: I’m a Fruity Pebbles guy. If I had to rank the three most popular fruity cereals, it would go Fruity Pebbles, Froot Loops, and then Trix. I don’t hate Trix, but I’d pick the others over it if given the option. Sorry, silly rabbit, Trix are not as tasty as the other two.

The reason why I feel Fruity Pebbles is a superior cereal over Froot Loops is because the colorful rice cereal is sweeter and has a more significant fruity kick than the bright O’s from Kellogg’s.

With that said, this Froot Loops Ice Cream has a fruitiness and a sweetness I wish the actual cereal had. The flavor is undoubtedly Froot Loops but enhanced, like a baseball player from the early 2000s. This might be the sugar talking, but if Toucan Sam ate this ice cream, he would switch from using his beak to follow Froot Loops’ scent to pecking the peepers of the people who have the power to change the cereal’s recipe to make it taste as great as this ice cream.

However, despite being inspired by a cereal, this dessert somehow lacks any crunch. There are specks of pulverized Froot Loops floating in the cereal milk-flavored ice cream base, but most are on the border of being microscopic, which is definitely too small to provide any texture. But I guess being tiny allows them to permeate Froot Loops flavor throughout the ice cream in the 14-fluid-ounce container.

Now, I guess I could buy a box of Froot Loops and crush some on top, but not to the point where they’re nearly microscopic, to get some crunch. But let’s be honest: that’s way too much effort for a dessert. Heck, I’m too lazy to even scoop this into a bowl.

If you’re a Froot Loops fanatic, do yourself a favor and pick up this ice cream. Even if you’re on Team Fruity Pebbles or Team Trix, I think it’ll tickle your taste buds.

Purchased Price: $6.99*
Size: 14 fl oz container
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 210 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 19 grams of sugar (including 15 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes Ice Cream

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As an adult who loves cereal but can almost never wake up on time to consume a normal breakfast (and even if I could, I can’t be counted on to have non-expired milk on hand), I found the concept of Kellogg’s new breakfast cereal flavored ice creams intriguing. Freed from the confines of a balanced breakfast, perhaps Frosted Flakes could finally team up with an even more indulgent dairy in the form of ice cream and become a childhood dream come true. Who didn’t want ice cream for breakfast? Also, Kellogg’s went so far as to make these ice creams and not “frozen dairy desserts.” Additionally, this ice cream base is cereal milk flavored and not just vanilla. It should be good! Dare I say, Gr-r-eat?

I do not dare. Opening the container, I couldn’t help but notice this is a boring pint. It was obvious that the flakes were completely obliterated, and no effort was made to include any whole flakes or larger chunks of them. I suppose if you throw Frosted Flakes into a mixer, you can’t really expect them to maintain their structural identity. I guess I expected them to sprinkle in a few whole pieces, maybe coated with something to ensure they provided some crunch. If not for the packaging, you’d never know there were Frosted Flakes in here. The sandy-colored specks that remain from the cereal pieces are just that…sandy. It’s as if you’d dropped your ice cream at the beach and were determined to follow the five-second rule and enjoy it anyway. However, instead of eventually getting beyond the sanded part, the grittiness has permeated the whole way through.

I could overlook the pulverized flakes if the ice cream itself was good. I’m not that picky about ice cream, but this stuff is just disappointing. The texture is oddly gummy and not in a way that feels intentional. If I got an ice cream maker and this was the result of my first batch, I’d pat myself on the back because I technically made ice cream, and then I would definitely never use that recipe again. It appears the folks at Kellogg’s were less discerning.

The price here is the same as Ben & Jerry’s, but this seems like a worse quality product and instead of swirls and mix-ins, you’re only getting smashed corn flakes. I don’t mind the overall flavor and could be convinced its milky sweetness resembles cereal milk, but it’s mostly nondescript and the tiny flecks just aren’t enough to remind me of actual Frosted Flakes. It feels like Kellogg’s is relying on consumers to try this line solely based on the clout its beloved cereals carry, but I think it will have to put in a little more effort if it wants repeat customers. I found this pint on the bottom shelf at my store, and after having tried it, I can safely say that’s where it belongs.

Purchased Price: $5.29
Size: 14 fl oz
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 210 calories, 11 grams of total fat, 45mg of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of total carbs, 20 grams of total sugars, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Harry Potter Butterbeer Goldfish

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Apparently, it’s Butterbeer Season, a March-through-May festivity at Universal Orlando Resort that Google has just informed me is traditionally celebrated with a frothy glass of the titular butterscotch beverage. But, like Harry Potter’s Patronus, a new crop of Butterbeer-flavored products has poofed onto the market as if by magic, and thus Butterbeer Season can now be celebrated in the comfort of your own home (or local grocery store parking lot if you really can’t wait). From this flood, I reeled in quite the catch: Butterscotch Goldfish (or, as their parents would call them when they’re angry, Harry Potter Butterbeer Butterscotch Flavored Graham Crackers).

Goldfish’s Grahams line swaps the classic savory flavors of the “snack that smiles back” and cracker-like texture for a sweeter, more cookie-esque style. Rather than being brittle and cheesy, these Butterbeer Goldfish are dense and dessert-y. Beyond that, though, I’m honestly finding them a bit hard to explain. They certainly smell like butterscotch, but when I took my first nibble, the immediate flavor wasn’t what I was expecting: it was salty. As far as I can tell, this saltiness didn’t come from the Goldfish cracker itself but rather from the gritty seasoning it’s covered with. These aren’t nearly as powdery and messy as, say, orange-dust-engulfed Cheetos, but I still found the coating inconvenient and mildly unsettling.

That taste quickly gave way to a richer graham cracker flavor, but it wasn’t one that I would have immediately identified as “butterscotch” had that word not been literally written on the bag. Sure, I can kind of taste the “butter” element, but I was expecting some additional caramelized creaminess that never surfaced. Puzzled by how to pin down this agreeable, comforting, but rather indistinct flavor, I sampled another piece… which turned into a handful… and soon I found myself as full of fish as a patron of an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant, but not necessarily full of insights. (Well, okay, they’re not all shaped like fish—there are fun Butterbeer barrels and foaming glasses in there, too.)

These Goldfish are tasty and toasty, sugary and brown sugar-y, and have a subtle treacly aftertaste that reminded me a bit of maple syrup. But they left me wishing I was a Hogwarts student so I could use an “Accio” spell to conjure up an understanding of why exactly they have been branded as butterscotch-tasting… or how exactly they’re different than the other similar flavors of Goldfish Grahams I’ve had in the past.

But I don’t mean to Avada Kedavra with faint praise: Butterbeer Goldfish are not bad by any means, it’s just that in order to differentiate them from any other graham snack on the market, you might need a Sorting Hat.

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: 6.1 oz bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (31 pieces) 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

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