REVIEW: Burger King Bacon Cheesy Tots

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Burger King Bacon Cheesy Tots

What are the Burger King Bacon Cheesy Tots?

With the Bacon Cheesy Tots, Burger King is putting a new spin on a tried and true comfort food favorite.

Sorta’.

These spherical, fried potato discs might look like your average tots, but inside you’ll find a molten core of creamy cheese and several hearty chunks of crispy bacon. Or, at least, that’s what the marketing materials claim.

How are they?

Burger King Bacon Cheesy Tots 8 Pack

On the whole, the Bacon Cheesy Tots are tasty, but they ultimately feel like nothing more than a glorified breakfast menu side item. The exterior shells of the tots are nice and crispy (thank goodness, because there are few things in this world more lamentable than soggy tots), but the interior filling leaves a lot to be desired.

Burger King Bacon Cheesy Tots Innards

On the plus side, the tots do taste adequately cheesy — in case you were wondering, it appears to be cheddar-based — but the bacon ratio is sorely disappointing. In fact, on some tots you may only get a speck or a granule of bacon bits; and such inconsistency from tot to tot, I assure you, is truly maddening.

Is there anything else you need to know?

The general texture and mouthfeel of the products are quite satisfying, and the tots are certainly filling on an empty stomach. Alas, its taste isn’t all that distinct, and as the case with MANY Burger King items, the product is astoundingly salty. Just eight pieces will net you close to half a day’s worth of suggested sodium intake. Naturally, you’ll need a beverage nearby for this one — and your favorite in-house BK dipping sauce wouldn’t hurt, either.

Conclusion:

Burger King Bacon Cheesy Tots Innards Closeup

The lack of bacon is what really hurts this one. Granted, I wasn’t expecting the tots to be edible bacon pinatas or anything, but it certainly feels like modern science has progressed enough that far more chunks of pork can be engineered into the potato balls.

Furthermore, it would’ve been nice to see BK partner this one with some sort of sauce. A nice, mesquite BBQ blend, for example, would’ve given this product some added shelf-life. Still, considering the low price point and the high volume of product, there’s certainly an element of value to the tots; although unless you are REALLY strapped for cash, I wouldn’t exactly recommend going out of one’s way to experience this L-T-O snacker.

Purchased Price: $2.29
Size: 8 tots
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 330 calories; 14 grams of fat, 0 grams of total fat, 15 milligrams
of cholesterol, 1,020 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar and 10 grams of protein

REVIEW: Pillsbury Limited Edition Marshmallow Cookies with Marshmallow Bits

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Pillsbury Limited Edition Marshmallow Cookies with Marshmallow Bits

What are Pillsbury Limited Edition Marshmallow Cookies with Marshmallow Bits?

Stick with me here folks; these are (supposedly) marshmallow-flavored cookies with little hot cocoa packet-style marbits.

How are they?

They’re fine, but if you’re expecting BIG marshmallow flavor, I’ve got bad news.

The cookies smelled like yellow cake mix in the oven, and I convinced myself they were going to taste like marshmallows. They ended up tasting like a sugar cookie, unfortunately.

I had to convince myself the cookie was marshmallow flavored, and it still never really seemed true. Although, on some bites, I felt like I was tasting extremely subdued cotton candy, which made little sense but was welcomed.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Pillsbury Limited Edition Marshmallow Cookies with Marshmallow Bits Raw

Pillsbury Limited Edition Marshmallow Cookies with Marshmallow Bits Baked

I ate these three different ways – as dough, hot from the oven, and cooled down.

Eating raw dough may not be recommended by that giggly punk the Pillsbury Doughboy, but we all do it. It was worth it. Don’t sue if you get sick.

They’re generic sugar cookies fresh from the oven. The marbits were so melty that they just blended in with the soft cookie and any flavor was lost.

I know the joy of baking cookies is eating them hot, but give ’em time to cool, because the marshmallows harden into a nice crisp, and that’s where the overall cookie shined brightest.

Pillsbury Limited Edition Marshmallow Cookies with Marshmallow Bits Bitten

While they didn’t taste like these specifically, the texture of the marshmallow reminded me of Linden’s Butter Crunch cookies. You know, those little yellow three cookie pouches at the convenience store? I’ve loved them since I was a kid.

I added chocolate chips to a few cookies, and they overpowered any alleged marshmallow flavor.

Conclusion:

I’m no baker, so I appreciate how simple these pre-made Pillsbury cookies are. I can pretend I baked without having the mix ingredients or clean up.

They’re good enough, low priced, and require no work. Why not try em?

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 14 oz (12 cookies)
Purchased at: Wegmans
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cookie) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars

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Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars

What is the Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bar?

Depending on how you choose to see it, these are either a new twixt (get it?) on the existing Twix ice cream bars or a meltable version of the

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 2

How is it?

I was a tiny bit disappointed that neither iteration of the Twix ice cream bar maintains the classic Twix cookie-on-the-bottom construction. It’s what makes a Twix a Twix. But I didn’t linger long on this because I was won over by its taste on the first bite.

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 3

These were straight up delicious, and the experience was more than the sum of its parts. The fluffy ice cream had a strong hot cocoa essence, which was unexpected in a cold item. The cookie bits brought a nice crunch and a darker chocolate. The coating, while a standard milk chocolate, brought us to three different chocolate profiles, which I loved. The caramel filling wasn’t anything special but was tasty and a little on the thin side, which works well with ice cream.

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 4

Is there anything else you need to know?

Whatever you do, do not peel off the top layer of chocolate coating. The visual of these bars naked is something out of an HR Giger nightmare. I’m pretty sure those cookie balls are hatching in my belly right now…

Twix Triple Chocolate Ice Cream Bars 5

Yeesh.

Conclusion:

Do not wait for sunburn season to find these. Chocolate fans, Twix fans, Alien fans – they’re well worth a try. They might be my go-to summer treat. Just don’t look under the hood.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 11 oz. box / 6 bars
Purchased at: ShopRite
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bar) 160 calories, 9 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 grams of fiber, 15 grams of total sugars, 13 grams of added sugars and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sprite Lymonade

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Sprite Lymonade

Sprite Lymonade is the classic lemon and lime-flavored Sprite mixed with some lemonade. Okay, not exactly lemonade because the beverage itself isn’t an ingredient. It gets its elevated citrus flavor from, according to the bottle, clarified lemon juice from concentrate. I imagine Sprite Clarified Lemon Juice From Concentrate would’ve been a horrible product name.

It has ONE PERCENT real juice. And, somewhere, Mtn Dew Amp Game Fuel is laughing because it’s made with five percent juice, which is still not a lot, but much more than this.

It tastes like a cloudy Sprite that’s ever so slightly more lemony than the original. It’s definitely not carbonated lemonade, and it’s definitely not just Sprite. If you like the classic lemon-lime soda, I imagine you’ll also enjoy this because it isn’t a dramatic change from the original.

The “lemonade” portion tastes the part, adding a little more lemon flavor and sourness, but thankfully it isn’t as sour as a test batch made by aspiring young first-time lemonade stand proprietors.

Like with all Sprite varieties, it has no caffeine. Seriously, Coca-Cola, if you want to sell a little more of your popular drink, make one with caffeine. People love Sprite. People love caffeine. Do the math. I know you’ve probably done it in the lab, and the caffeine messes with the crisp, clean lemon-lime flavor, but I’d buy more if it had some. No pressure, Coca-Cola.

Sprite Lymonade is crisp, refreshing, citrusy, and any other adjective used to describe a good lemon-lime soda, but to be frank, it’s an unexciting variation. We have cherry, cranberry, and whatever Sprite flavors are available at Coca-Cola Freestyle dispensers, so pardon me if I feel this is a little boring, I mean, in Sprite spelling, boryng.

Purchased Price: Way too much from someone on eBay
Size: 20 fl. oz. bottle
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) 220 calories, 0 grams of fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 59 grams of carbohydrates, 57 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Haagen-Dazs Spirits Collection Ice Cream (U.S.)

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Haagen Dazs Spirits Collection Ice Cream

Judging from the length of their corresponding aisles at the grocery store, it’s no secret that Americans love alcohol and ice cream. Despite this, mergers between the two seem rare with mainstream brands.

Befitting of the most drunken-sounding ice cream brand, Haagen-Dazs has risen to fill this void of boozy frozen desserts with the release of its new Spirits Collection. Each pint features a different variety of popular liquor, paired alongside indulgent mix-ins, and Haagen-Dazs’ famously rich ice cream.

Bourbon Vanilla Bean Truffle

Haagen Dazs Spirits Collection Bourbon Vanilla Bean Truffle

Perhaps the most basic of the bunch, this offering blends classic vanilla ice cream with miniature chocolate truffles and a spicy bourbon swirl.

Although that description may sound unexciting when compared to this line’s other offerings, this flavor goes to show that ice cream doesn’t have to be complicated to be good. With a dense, sweet, vanilla bean-flecked base, I found it easy to appreciate this variety’s superb consistency and mouthfeel, and the tiny truffles dotted throughout helped to provide intermittent bursts of crunch and texture.

Rather than finding distinct ribbons of bourbon swirled throughout, I tasted hints of booze in each spoonful and found the alcohol’s slight edge helped to make this flavor seem like an “adult’s only” version of vanilla bean ice cream.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Purchased at: Food Lion
Size: 14 fl. oz.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 340 calories, 20 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 34 grams of total sugars, 29 grams of added sugars, and 4 grams of protein.

Rum Tres Leches

Haagen Dazs Spirits Collection Rum Tres Leches

This flavor swirls a trio of south-of-the-border indulgences — generous chunks of tres leches, dulce de leche, and a rum-infused base.

Don’t speak Spanish? Then I’ll translate for you – this is a white rum ice cream with chunks of cake soaked in sweetened condensed milk and ribbons of gooey caramel sauce. And, yes, it’s as tooth-achingly sweet as it sounds.

Although I like each component individually, they’re too much when together. The alcohol, although detectable, is much more muted than in the Bourbon Vanilla Truffle, and the milk-soaked cake pieces were surprisingly dry and stale. Rather than buying this, I’d recommend heading down to your local Mexican restauranté and drinking a mojito or two alongside a slice of traditionally prepared Tres Leches.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Purchased at: Food Lion
Size: 14 fl. oz.
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 360 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 35 grams of total sugars, 25 grams of added sugars, and 5 grams of protein.

Irish Cream Brownie

Haagen Dazs Spirits Collection Irish Cream Brownie

Voyaging across the Atlantic, this St. Patrick’s Day-approved variety utilizes an Irish cream-flavored base, brownie chunks, and a fudge swirl.

Calling the brownie bits “chunks” is being pretty generous, though, because I got very few fully intact pieces in my pint. Instead, most were obliterated in a brownie crumb explosion that masked whatever pitiful amount of fudge swirl Haagen-Dazs managed to get into this flavor.

I didn’t think the Irish Cream base was anything special, either. It tasted good – all Haagen-Dazs tastes good – but I would have been just as happy to pour some Baileys on top of a scoop of its vanilla ice cream.

Purchased Price: $4.39
?Purchased at: Food Lion
Size: 14 fl. oz.
Rating: 6 out of 10
?Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 360 calories, 21 grams of total fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 25 grams of added sugars, and 5 grams of protein.

Stout Chocolate Pretzel Crunch

Haagen Dazs Spirits Collection Stout Chocolate Pretzel Crunch

Also drawing inspiration from Ireland, this pub-grub-styled dessert features stout-infused chocolate ice cream mixed with chocolate covered pretzels and a fudge swirl.

Similar to the previous flavor, this variety also suffered from having a less than impressive fudge swirl. Even so, I didn’t find myself missing the swirl’s added richness as much here, because I thought the chocolate stout base was plenty satisfying by itself. Although I had initially been concerned about its boozy infusion being covered up by cocoa, my concerns were unjustified, as the two flavors work to complement one another well.

The chocolate covered pretzels were similarly well-executed. I find that most pretzels tend to get soggy in ice cream, but these were pleasantly crunchy and added a needed pop of salt that helped to break through the dessert’s richness.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Purchased at: Food Lion
Size: 14 fl. oz.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 360 calories, 19 grams of total fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 32 grams of total sugars, 27 grams of added sugars, and 6 grams of protein.

Conclusion:

Although each of these flavors has minor flaws, Haagen-Dazs is definitely on the right track by expanding its library of desserts to include its Spirits Collection. I only hope other brands will follow its lead because booze-infused ice cream is a trend that I can get behind!

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