REVIEW: Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters

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Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters

What are Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters?

They are absolutely not Triscuit crackers. Instead, they’re more like trail mixes in brittle form. There are three varieties available — Cranberries & Cashews, Pumpkin Seeds & Sweet Corn, and Cherries & Almonds. This review is about the first two.

What are wheat berries?

They are whole kernels of wheat. When milled, they become whole wheat flour. When roasted whole, they become a part of Triscuit’s first non-cracker in its history.

How are they?

Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters Cranberries Cashews
Sorry I didn’t take a photo of the bigger clusters. I ate them without thinking.

The Cranberries & Cashews one starts off tasting like a diet Cracker Jack, and then its flavor morphs into something I’d expect from a Kashi cereal. I thought the cranberries would enhance everything as they do in trail mixes, but they aren’t too noticeable. They seem to provide a slight tang and chewiness. The cashews add a nutty flavor that complements the nuttiness from the wheat berries. Because I love cashews, I’ve been enjoying this one more.

Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters Pumpkin Seeds Sweet Corn

While the Cranberries & Cashews variety is slightly more sweet than savory, the Pumpkin Seeds & Sweet Corn one is the opposite. Some of the sweetness comes from the corn, and its savoriness comes from the pumpkin seeds and wheat berries. It’s not bad, but it has a less exciting flavor, and it gives me the same feeling I get when I’m eating plain tortilla chips.

Also, I can’t put my finger on it, but it tastes like something I’ve had before. Maybe a Japanese rice snack? According to the ingredients list, brown rice syrup seems to glue everything together, so perhaps I’m not going crazy thinking it tastes like a rice-based snack.

Is there anything else you need to know?

The toasted wheat berries give the clusters a hearty crunch.

Apparently, “wheatberry” is one word, while “wheat berries” are two words.

Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters Level

See that decent sized bag above. See where my finger is pointing? That’s the amount of clusters there are in the bag. So the snack takes up only 1/4 to 1/3 of the pouch. The rest is wheatberry stank.

Conclusion:

I’m surprised by how much I dug these Triscuit Wheatberry Clusters. I like them more than most Triscuit crackers I’ve had. But there’s something about these that rub me the wrong way, besides the amount in each pouch. The packaging says they’re “plant based fuel,” which makes them sound as if they’re nutrient dense, but they’re low on protein, carbs, fiber, and sugar. I dunno, it’s a little disingenuous to me to make it seems like these can help us power through our days.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 5 oz. pouches
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Cranberries & Cashews)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Pumpkin Seeds & Sweet Corn)
Nutrition Facts: (1 oz.) Cranberries & Cashews – 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. Pumpkin Seeds & Sweet Corn – 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Rockstar Pure Zero TMGS (Tangerine Mango Guava Strawberry)

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Rockstar Pure Zero TMGS

What is Rockstar Pure Zero TMGS?

It’s the latest Pure Zero variety from Rockstar Energy. Pure Zero energy drinks have no sugar and zero calories. TMGS’ flavor is made up of four fruits — tangerine, mango, guava, and strawberry. A can has 240 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.

How is it?

While the tangerine and mango get front billing on the can, the guava and strawberry flavors are more upfront with every sip. The mango is difficult to taste, but the citrusy tangerine is noticeable in the background. The amalgamation of fruitiness equals an energy drink that’s one of the best tasting out there. It’s a strong tropical flavor that’s as good as the tropical Monster Energy varieties Pipeline Punch and Pacific Punch.

But here’s the thing about Rockstar Pure Zero TMGS that sets it apart from those Monster flavors, as I mentioned before, it’s a zero sugar, zero calorie energy drink, but it doesn’t taste like it’s a zero sugar, zero calorie energy drink. Those Monster varieties have around 50 grams of sugar each.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Rockstar Pure Zero TMGS Pink

With unicorn products being popular right now, I’m surprised this pink colored energy drink that comes in a rainbow-colored can wasn’t called Rockstar Pure Zero Unicorn or something like that. There could’ve been a unicorn horn on the tab instead of a Rockstar logo, and the outside of the can could’ve had the texture of a unicorn’s mane.

I wrote this review in less than 15 minutes because the 240 milligrams of caffeine kept me wired and focused.

Conclusion:

Rockstar Pure Zero TMG is a great tasting energy drink. I haven’t made a top 10 list of my favorite energy drink flavors, but if I did, this would definitely be on it. It might even be in the top five.

Purchased Price: $1.50
Size: 16 fl. oz. can
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (8 fl. oz.) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 1 gram of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 1 gram of erythritol, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Coffee Beverages

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Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Coffee Beverage

What are Starbucks Tripleshot Energy Coffee Beverages?

They are extra-strength versions of Starbucks’ Doubleshot Energy canned beverages. While the Doubleshots have 145 milligrams of caffeine per can, the Tripleshots have 225 milligrams. There are three flavors: Caramel, French Vanilla, and Caffe Mocha.

This review covers the first two.

How are they?

If your taste buds are familiar with Starbucks’ Doubleshot Energy or even Java Monster, then these will also be familiar to them. There’s enough cream, sugar, and flavoring in both to hide the coffee flavor and energy ingredients, like ginseng and guarana. So if you’re into sweet, dairy coffee drinks, then you’ll enjoy these. I did.

But, maybe it’s just me, they’re not as flavorful as Starbucks’ Doubleshot canned beverages, which I drink regularly. The new beverages are sweet and creamy like their less caffeinated cousins, but the flavors don’t seem pop as much as the Doubleshots. Maybe to stuff more caffeine into each can, the flavor level needed to be affected.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Two hundred twenty-five milligrams of caffeine is a lot. To give you an idea of how much that is, it’s a little less than what’s in a Venti-sized Starbucks Iced Coffee. Here are more numbers: Most Java Monster flavors have 188 milligrams of caffeine per can.

Caramel, vanilla, and mocha are the usual staid varieties when it comes to coffee energy drinks. I wish one of the flavors wasn’t one of the usuals. Unicorn Tripleshot, perhaps?

I didn’t include a photo of the actual liquid because I figured if you’ve seen one canned coffee drink you’ve seen them all. Think dirty storm river water. Okay. Okay. You got me. I forgot to take photos.

Conclusion:

Again, if you’ve had other coffee energy drinks, these Starbucks Tripleshots will taste familiar to you. Getting an extra 80 milligrams of caffeine over Starbucks’ Doubleshots at roughly the same price is nice if you need the added energy because you were up all night watching YouTube videos about the Easter eggs in Marvel movie trailers or something like that.

Purchased Price: $2.78 each
Size: 15 fl. oz. cans
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (French Vanilla)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Caramel)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) French Vanilla – 210 calories, 3 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein. Caramel – 210 calories, 3 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 29 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Nestle Coffee-mate Dove Dark Chocolate Almond Creamer

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Coffee mate Dove Dark Chocolate Almond Creamer

Coffee-mate’s Dove Dark Chocolate Almond Creamer is one of two Nestle and Mars collaboration flavors with the other one being a Snickers flavor.

This Dove Chocolate version smells like one of the best chocolate milk ever with a hint of nuttiness. But after inhaling too much of it, I noticed a bit of an odd chemical-like smell. It doesn’t completely turn me off to it, but maybe I should stick to quick huffs.

By itself, which is definitely not Nestle’s recommend way to consume its creamers, the coffee enhancer is potent. It’s sweet and tastes nothing like any Dove Dark Chocolate I’ve had. But it does have a strong cocoa flavor with a hint of almonds.

Coffee mate Dove Dark Chocolate Almond Creamer with Coffee

With coffee, the flavors I tasted when drinking it straight up are still there, but obviously muted because of the joe. The dark cocoa flavor blends well with the java. The almond lingers in the background, but it’s harder to detect. Overall, it’s a tasty way to enhance the dark beverage, but it’s not better or less than most Coffee-mate flavors I’ve had. No FOMO here.

The nutty flavor isn’t from almond milk. It’s more of an enhanced version of the nut from “natural flavors.” It not surprising this doesn’t have almond milk because the dairy alternative not only makes things non-dairy, it also makes products non-the-same-price-as-the-non-almond-milk-versions. Nut milk tends to make things more expensive. Oh, by the way, to clarify, this Dove one is non-dairy, like most of Nestle’s creamers.

Dove Dark Chocolate Almond is a decent addition to the long list of other flavors the Nestle creamer brand offers. It’s no International Delight Reese’s Creamer because the candy equation of Reese’s > Dove will NEVER flip. But it’s an excellent flavor to mix it up, especially for someone like me who buys the Coffee-mate three-pack at Costco that has only French Vanilla and Hazelnut and is getting tired of it despite how cheap it is.

Purchased Price: $4.18
Size: 32 fl. oz. bottle
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 tbsp) 35 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Pepperoni P’Zone (2019)

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Pizza Hut Pepperoni P Zone

When it comes to junk food nostalgia most of my flashbacks are of the sweet variety. Dunkaroos, Surge, and WWF’s Hulk Hogan cereal always pull me back to the simpler days, but there are a few savory items that I look back on with glowing glee as well. 3D Doritos tend to be at the top of most older millennial’s junk food wishlists, and I personally loved the Taco Doritos that seemed to vanish sometime in the early 2000s.

But recently, very recently, in fact, I was wondering what the hell happened to Pizza Hut’s P’Zone. For a company aligned with Taco Bell and known for making zany limited time items, I couldn’t understand why the company’s financially friendly twist on the calzone disappeared years ago without a proper farewell.

Suffer no more, the giant Hot Pocket of meat and cheese that I fell in love with as a stoned teenager in smoky basements is back, and it got a bit of a facelift.

Pizza Hut Pepperoni P Zone 2

The most immediate difference is in the appearance of the outer crust. While the 2019 P’Zone has the same shape and general size of the original, it’s covered in a toasted orange Parmesan that immediately evokes an asiago bagel. The original P’Zone was garnished with traditional pizzeria-style parmesan sprinkles and parsley, which sat nicely atop of golden brown dough. The new iteration still looks good, but it’s not the same as the one I fell in love with, and I just have to learn to let go.

The bagel experience doesn’t end with appearance. When I bite in, I wonder if I’m sitting inside of a Noah’s at 8 a.m. or on my couch with remote in hand at 8 p.m. The parmesan’s funky intensity stands out, but almost to a fault as I find it to be a bit distracting. When you pair the distinct sharp cheesiness with the bread’s pretty prominent fluffiness, the 2019 P’Zone does feel a bit more like a bagel than a pizza.

Pizza Hut Pepperoni P Zone Innards

The P’Zone was never as loaded as a true calzone, which tends to be thicker and taller and oftentimes a knife-and-fork situation; whereas Pizza Hut’s take is much more of a finger food with a flatter profile. The toppings inside, although not extremely dense, are good and present enough to bring the pizza pizazz I’m looking for.

Pizza Hut Pepperoni P Zone Dipped

Taken as it is the P’Zone is good but a bit underwhelming. However, when dunked into the generously sized cup of marinara sauce, it’s damn good. The pizza sauce brings some poppin’ acidity and moisture that makes the ‘zone taste much more fresh, engaging, and something I want more bites of.

While it isn’t quite as sensational as I remembered as a stoned teenager, I can’t help but be excited about the return of the budget-friendly and filling option at Pizza Hut. In the scope of chain pizza restaurants Pizza Hut isn’t really on my radar unless I’m craving its stuffed crust, but even then Little Caesars does an admirable job at a lower cost.

That being said, the P’Zone being back, as an apparent permanent addition to the menu, ensures I’ll be back at The Hut before the end of the year, and the buzz of its return is sure to lure many other early 2000s nostalgia hunters through its greasy shop doors in no time.

Purchased Price: $5.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 P’Zone) 460 calories, 16 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1170 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

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