REVIEW: Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla Simply Dipped Mini Cones

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Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla Simply Dipped Mini Cones

The image on the front of the Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla Simply (I need to catch my breath because the name is so long) Dipped Mini Cones box claims that it’s the actual size of the cones, but that’s simply not the case.

At this point, some of you might have some rage smoldering in you with the assumption that the cones are smaller.

But, I’m happy to report that in real life, they’re actually BIGGER than what’s on the box. But they’re still “Fun Size” frozen dessert dairy cones, and there are 20 of them in the box, which means they’re small.

Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla Simply Dipped Mini Cones Actual Size

To give you an idea of how mini they are, one of them weighs 17 grams, and it would take about 5.5 of them to equal the weight of a regular Drumstick Simple Dipped Vanilla Cone.

While the cones are mini, they have all the components of their bigger sibling — the same vanilla frozen dairy dessert, chocolatey coating, sugar cone, chocolatey cone lining, and chocolatey nugget at the bottom of the cone to prevent any leakage from the tip of the cone. They also taste like the larger cone, which probably isn’t a big surprise.

Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla Simply Dipped Mini Cones Single

But these small cones offer an experience you can’t get with the bigger one — you can pretend you’re a giant, stick an entire cone in your mouth, and then say, “Fee-fi-fo-fum, I just ate an entire Nestle Drum…stick.”

Hmmm. Maybe that’s why these are called “Fun Size.” Of course, your results may vary when it comes to sticking an entire Fun Size cone in your mouth.

While Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla (catching my breath, again) Simply Dipped Mini Cones are a nice little treat, I can’t help but look at the trays they come in and think of a fun idea for the Fun Size treats.

Nestle Drumstick Mini Drums Vanilla Simply Dipped Mini Cones Tray 1

Instead of having just one variety, have ten different frozen dairy dessert flavors under the chocolatey coating, since each tray holds that many cones. One has to be a super oddball flavor that’s either gross or spicy to make it like Russian Roulette.

Also, don’t give us any hints about what flavors they could be. Just make the front of the box white with the Nestle and Drumstick logos, include an image of a cone that’s smaller than the actual size, and call the product, Mystery Mini Drums.

Dun dun drums!

Feel free to use this idea, Drumstick.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample of the product. Doing so did not influence my review in any way.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 16.9 fl. oz./20 cones
Purchased at: Received from PR firm representing Nestle Drumstick
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cone) 70 calories, 4 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 7 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Smucker’s Uncrustables Roll-Ups

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Smucker s Uncrustables Turkey Colby Jack Roll Ups

What are Smucker’s Uncrustables Turkey & Colby Jack and Uncured Ham & Cheddar Roll-Ups?

Uncrustables branches out into more than just round crust-less pocket sandwiches with the launch of two new thaw-and-eat roll-ups. One is Turkey and Colby Jack that contains smoked turkey breast, Colby, Monterey Jack, and Neufchâtel cheeses with seasoning in flatbread. The other is uncured ham and cheddar consisting of uncured ham, cheddar, and Neufchâtel cheeses in flatbread.

Smucker s Uncrustables Uncured Ham Cheddar Roll Ups

How are they?

These are adorable little lunch meat pinwheels, just like if a sushi roll and a sandwich for your lunch box had a baby. Both flavors are presented in perfectly bite-sized morsels and, considering that they were just frozen, the flatbread turns out surprisingly well as it is nice and soft. A little pillowy even!!

Smucker s Uncrustables Turkey Colby Jack Roll Ups Closeup
Smucker’s Uncrustables Turkey & Colby Jack Roll-Ups Closeup

The components are well balanced here. Flatbread softness comes in upon the first bite, followed by the punch of the cheese. For the Turkey one, the finish is a nice blend of seasoning, definitely an oniony garlic flavor. The ham one doesn’t have any seasoning for some reason, but maybe it’s because the ham’s flavor is stronger and offers a savory, briny ending to the roll.

Smucker s Uncrustables Uncured Ham Cheddar Roll Ups Closeup
Smucker’s Uncrustables Uncured Ham & Cheddar Roll-Ups Closeup

I was unfamiliar with Neufchâtel cheese before this and couldn’t believe that these contain such a fancy cheese. I’m mean just look at that circumflex!!! (It’s the line above the a so you pronounce it like “ah”) I dissected the roll-up and it has a cream cheese-like consistency and flavor. Without a condiment like mustard or mayo, this helped to give another dimension, a nice creamy aspect, to the whole experience.

Is there anything else you need to know?

Smucker s Uncrustables Roll Ups Wrapers

Lots of directions on these: Keep frozen until ready to thaw. Thaw for two hours, eat immediately. For on-the-go use, include ice pack, eat within six hours. Do not microwave. Do not refreeze once thawed. The most important one is the second one. Make sure you wait a full two hours before indulging. I got a little anxious on these my first try and bit into frozen meat. Not pleasant at all.

These also seem to be a resurgence for the Uncrustables brand. There are two heat and eat options (hyperlink to spotting of those other flavors?) that debuted at the same time. KEEP ‘EM COMING SMUCKERS!!!! Can you let me know why a fluffernutter OG one has not happened yet, though? Thanks.

Conclusion:

I haven’t had Uncrustables in a while, so I was super excited to try these new offerings. And even with my high expectations, I was blown away by them. They are delicious! A perfect little multi-layered snack, and I probably could have downed both boxes if I wasn’t careful.

I have always been a turkey fan over ham so I would have to give that one the edge. Also, the seasoning on that one was a nice touch. You can’t go wrong with either one, though, and I would highly recommend these for kid’s lunch boxes and for all the kid-like adults longing for a scrumptious snack to bring them back to the simple time of their childhood innocence.

Purchased Price: $4.99 each
Size: 7.8 oz. box/3 pouches
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 10 out of 10 (Turkey & Colby Jack), 9 out of 10 (Uncured Ham & Cheddar)
Nutrition Facts: (1 pouch) Turkey & Colby Jack – 190 calories, 8 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 450 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein. Uncured Ham & Cheddar – 190 calories, 8 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 470 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Smucker’s Uncrustables Taco Bites and BBQ Chicken Bites

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Smucker s Uncrustables Taco Bites and BBQ Chicken Bites

What are Smucker’s Uncrustables Taco Bites and BBQ Chicken Bites?

Smucker’s Uncrustables is stepping outside of its proven sweet-based lineup and into the savory space with two heat-and-eat “meat in bread” items — BBQ Chicken Bites and Taco Bites. Uncrustables has done grilled cheese before, but now we’re talking full-on USDA approved animal products, ya’ll.

How are they?

First, let’s assume these are targeted toward and made for kids. They have a different palate than (most) adults, so I set my expectations at “they should be as good as any other kid-food option.”

Smucker s Uncrustables Taco Bites 2

I started with the Taco Bites, hoping for that standard taco seasoning flavor and some cheesy goodness since the front of the package said these included cheese. I used the printed microwave heating directions since there weren’t any for a toaster oven.

Smucker s Uncrustables Taco Bites 3

Biting into these was like biting into a black hole. I know my jaw closed, but around what? The bread on the outside was a dry whole wheat bun. There was an aftertaste of taco seasoning like it was a distant childhood memory, but that was about it. The filling-to-bread ratio was way off, with every bite being mostly dry bread followed by a little bit of the beef crumble.

Smucker s Uncrustables Taco Bites 4

For the second bite in the pouch, I tore off the top layer of bread and folded the rest in half to try to simulate doubling the meat filling. This was much better and led to my discovering that the seasoning on the beef itself is pretty good when it’s not battling the flavor sucking sponge of the whole wheat bun prison it’s delivered in. I predict many a kid will eat the yummy filling and leave the bread exoskeleton behind.

Smucker s Uncrustables BBQ Chicken Bites 5

With my expectations significantly lowered, I moved on to the BBQ Chicken Bites. The same microwave directions had my food ready in 40 seconds.

Smucker s Uncrustables BBQ Chicken Bites 6

The bread used in the BBQ Chicken version was SO MUCH BETTER. It was moist (yeah, I said it) almost like a wheat brioche and was an immediate improvement. The filling was too sweet for my BBQ preferences, but, again, assuming this is for kids, I can see why it leaned into sweet BBQ instead of smoky or savory. The poultry pieces were surprisingly large and looked like legit whole shredded chicken breast meat. There was also a definitive sauciness to the inside that was lacking in the taco version.

Is there anything else you need to know?

I mean, they certainly don’t have a crust. Moniker appeased.

Also, I can see where the crazed parent, desperate to get food into their screaming hungry kid’s mouth, would appreciate something that’s pretty impressively balanced in nutrition and ready in 40 seconds.

Conclusion:

I’m always a fan when a brand innovates outside of its proven space. I think these bites, overall, were designed for kids with care and consideration (I mean, only 170 milligrams of sodium in two BBQ Chicken Bites means someone was paying attention when these were developed).

That being said, the Taco Bites have a lot of room for improvement (please switch the bread. PLEASE!) before I’d buy them again. The Chicken BBQ Bites were pretty delicious even for “kid food,” and I’ll be happy to munch on them as afternoon snacks (there’s not enough food to be an adult meal, that’s for sure) until they’re gone.

Purchased Price: $3.99 each
Size: 6 oz. box/3 pouches
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Taco Bites), 7 out of 10 (BBQ Chicken Bites)
Nutrition Facts: (1 twin pack pouch) Taco Bites – 160 Calories, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 310 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein. BBQ Chicken Bites – 130 Calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Java Monster 300 Triple Shot

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Java Monster Triple Shot

I present to you a Java Monster Triple Shot Energy Coffee review with a number of words that equals the number of milligrams of caffeine each can has —- 300.

(Yes, including these words and those above. So it’s really 258 words below.)

Monster Energy might be trolling Starbucks with this new coffee drink line because, if not for a tap of the space bar, it would’ve been a trademark violation. You see, Starbucks, last year, came out with an energy coffee line called Tripleshot, which is a followup to the brand’s Doubleshot line.

Java Monster Triple Shot features, you guessed it by looking at the large numbers on the labels and reading the first paragraph above, 300 milligrams of caffeine per can, and it comes in two flavors — French Vanilla and Mocha. Starbucks’ Tripleshot has a not round number of 225 milligrams of the stimulant, but is currently available in five flavors.

Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla
Java Monster Triple Shot French Vanilla

While Java Monster Triple Shot can pump a Spartans army at the Battle of Thermopylae’s worth of caffeine into your bloodstream, I feel that’s the only noteworthy thing it has.

Both varieties smell, look, and taste similar to their regular Java Monster counterparts, but it seems as if some flavor was sacrificed in order to get to 300 milligrams of caffeine. To me, they’re slightly less flavorful than any regular Java Monster, especially the French Vanilla variety. Yes, I shook them.

Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha
Java Monster Triple Shot Mocha

With that said, Jave Monster Triple Shot drinks are perfectly fine coffee beverages if you want or need a whole lot of caffeine in 15 ounces. But if you don’t need to pump your bloodstream with that much, I’d recommend sticking with the regular Java Monster line, which has 188 milligrams per can. Or you could purchase a can of Starbucks’ Triple-no-space-shot.

300 words.

Purchased Price: More than anyone should pay on eBay
Size: 15 oz. cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (both flavors)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) French Vanilla – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein. Mocha – 200 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Croissant Stuffers

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Dunkin Croissant Stuffers Side

What are Dunkin’ Croissant Stuffers?

Dunkin’ is looking to kickstart its own “is a hot dog a sandwich” like debate by offering two new croissants stuffed with meats and cheeses.

How are they?

I’m prepared to say there are a couple of tasty new breakfast sandwiches (???) on the market.

I don’t know what it is about these little rolls that always turns me into a (probably offensive) caricature of a Frenchman, but when I eat one I just have to say “Qua-sahn,” and follow that up with that stereotypical “huh-huh” grunt laugh and a fake mustache twirl. So gimmie a second while I do my routine.

—

Ok, now that I got that out of my system, it’s time to shove these into it.

The actual croissants are perfectly textured. They were as buttery and flakey as you’d expect, but that’s not to say the overall sandwiches (???) were without their flaws.

Dunkin Chicken Bacon Cheese Croissant Stuffers

Chicken, Bacon & Cheese – First of all, Everything seasoning is a game-changer. I’d eat an Everything Croissant every morning without remorse. The stuffing is where this one went off the rails a bit.

Dunkin Chicken Bacon Cheese Croissant Stuffers Innards

If you are expecting a lot of chicken and bacon, well, this is basically the anti-Arby’s, because they don’t have the meats. There was a tiny piece of rubbery bacon weaved through and a flimsy piece of chicken that got dwarfed by the flavors of bacon and Colby Jack – which was the best part of the stuffing. If you’ve ever had a Chicken Bake from Costco, this tasted kinda like a Lean Pockets version of that with less chicken and no dressing.

Dunkin Three Cheese Croissant Stuffers

Three Cheese – This one wasn’t exactly teeming with stuffing either, but the mix of mozzarella and cheddar was delicious. There’s also a baked-on layer of Swiss on the outside of the croissant, which brought it all together. I’d call Three Cheese borderline great, but I still wish there was more cheese overall. Also, Dunkin’ should’ve added Colby Jack to this one too.

Dunkin Three Cheese Croissant Stuffers Innards

Anything else you need to know?

I’m a huge fan of the Cheddar Bagel Twists Dunkin’ sells, and the way the Swiss was baked on the Three Cheese Stuffer reminded me of those. Baked-on cheese is underrated.

Oh, and if you’re hungry, these aren’t exactly huge portions, so you might wanna grab one of each.

Conclusion:

Croissant Stuffers are a nice light breakfast. I’m happy the croissant is the star of each show, but I imagine the majority of people are gonna be left unfulfilled by the lack of stuffing in these sandwiches.

That’s right, I have declared them a sandwich.

Purchased Price: $3.49 each
Size: n/a
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Chicken, Bacon & Cheese), 8 out of 10 (Three Cheese)
Nutrition Facts: Chicken, Bacon & Cheese – 330 calories, 18 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 710 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein. Three Cheese – 320 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 500 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of total carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 12 grams of protein.

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