REVIEW: Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Top

What is the Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard

It’s one of the stars of the Dairy Queen Fall Blizzard Menu. It contains apple topping, pie pieces (or more accurately, pie crust pieces as I’ll explain below) and caramel coated truffles with vanilla soft serve and the obligatory garnish for all pies, whipped topping.

How is it?

Let me ramble a bit before I answer that question. I had high expectations for this Blizzard because I love me some apple pie. I’m not talking about grandma’s secret recipe pie with the steam rising from the top as it emerges from the oven. Yes, I’m sure your Gammy’s pie is delicious, but for some reason I’ve always been partial to the industrial strength versions.

The main reason I went to middle school every day (OK, most days, unless I could successfully fake a stomachache) was to get one of those tasty, sugar-loaded Hostess apple pies at lunch. And even now, I still tear up a little thinking about the long-extinct fried apple pie at McDonald’s, despite the real risk of permanent mouth injury caused by its hot-as-lava filling. This Blizzard reminds me of that Hostess/McDonald’s pie taste, without the latter’s third-degree burns. And the addition of the truffles make this something special.

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Closeup 1

There’s so much going on with this Blizzard, but everything blends together beautifully. This certainly isn’t the best-looking Blizzard ever, and even when you take away the whipped topping, it’s ordinary looking. But as I learned in middle school when I wasn’t eating Hostess pies, don’t judge a book, or a Blizzard, by its cover.

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Pieces

Because I am dedicated to my craft, I took the time to extract the three different pieces for you to examine (crust, apple, truffle from left to right). If it disgusts you to know that I had to suck and lick the soft serve off each piece, then just don’t read this sentence. I even dissected the truffle so you can see its guts spill out.

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Truffle

The crust pieces maintain their crispness even while encased in soft serve, the apple chunks deliver a subtle but satisfying fruit flavor, and the caramel coated truffles are very indulgent with their ooey-gooey center. It seems like most new Blizzards either feature chocolate or some sort of berry as the main component, so this one also stands out for being unique.

Anything else you need to know?

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Closeup 2

One of the other Blizzards on the fall menu, the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard, has “real” pumpkin pie pieces. But this one is worded a bit differently on the DQ website, which proclaims that it contains “apple topping” and “pie pieces.”

After perusing the list of ingredients and skipping over many, many words that I can neither pronounce nor define, I confirmed that the pie pieces here are indeed just pie crust pieces. That, of course, raises the question of whether a pie crust on its own is a pie, but I’ll let those more scholarly than I debate such topics. So to answer the question at hand — no, you didn’t need to know any of that.

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Caramel Apple Pie Blizzard Closeup 3

The only thing that kept me from giving this Blizzard a perfect score is that the apple pieces are a bit small and rubbery, like they were harvested from a fruit cake. And if you take a bite that doesn’t contain a chunk of apple, there’s really no fruit flavor in the soft serve, so it might have been nice to get some kind of apple flavoring or sauce in there. But those are just minor grouses; overall, this is an exceptional Blizzard, and I’m happy it will be around all fall.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: Medium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 930 calories, 37 grams of fat, 26 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 133 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 103 grams of sugar, and 16 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition 2020 Mtn Dew VooDEW

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Limited Edition 2020 Mtn Dew VooDEW Mystery Flavor

SPOILER ALERT!!!

If you don’t want to know what the 2020 edition of Mtn Dew VooDEW tastes like, since it’s a mystery flavor, I’d suggest you do not scroll down. Although, there’s an excellent chance what my taste buds think is absolutely wrong. Because last year’s Mtn Dew VooDEW mystery was revealed to be candy corn, which many drinkers didn’t guess correctly.

But if you still want to know what this year’s Mtn Dew VooDEW could be, follow the list of Mtn Dew VooDEW’s ingredients, which give no hints to what it could be.

Carbonated water.

High fructose corn syrup.

Citric acid.

Natural and artificial flavor.

Sodium benzoate.

Gum arabic.

Caffeine.

Sodium citrate.

Glycerol ester of rosin.

Calcium disodium EDTA.

Sucrose.

Acetate isobutyrate.

Limited Edition 2020 Mtn Dew VooDEW Mystery Flavor Closeup

So I understand VooDEW’s opaque white color helps with the mysteriousness. Kind of a hint when there’s color involved. I also think the cloud-like hue makes it look like there’s a ghost in a glass. Though, a clear DEW would’ve been even more mystery-like. That’s something PepsiCo should look into next year. Let me know what you think, PepsiCo. Even though I’m pretty sure no one there will read this. So that’s what this year’s VooDEW tastes like to me.

Oh, I didn’t share my guess, you say? As I’ve done with previous mystery flavors, it’s hidden in the paragraph above using the simplest cryptography.

Even though I think it tastes (and smells) like what I’ve hidden in the paragraph above, I’m probably wrong. Because some folks believed last year’s VooDEW flavor was what I think this year’s is. Since 2019’s version ended up being candy corn, I imagine this one is also supposed to be something sweet related to the fall season. Maybe it’s Candied Yams Dew, Pumpkin Pie Dew, or Caramel Apple Dew, and my taste buds are completely broken.

Whatever the flavor ends up being, it’s wonderful. Although, if this was in a blank can, I wouldn’t be able to tell it’s a Mountain Dew variety. It’s definitely worth trying if you love mysteries or the particular food item I believe it tastes like.

Purchased Price: More than anyone should pay for a can of soda
Size: 12 oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 55 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 44 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready Slices-N-Stix

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Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Whole Thing

Little Caesars seems to always have a new scheme up its sleeve. One of the true masters of limited edition offerings – and that’s why you love this website, right?

From bacon-wrapped deep dish to cheese-stuffed crazy bread to my favorite, the undeniable pretzel crust pizza, it always finds ways to entice me back into its budget-friendly establishments. Its latest creation fuses an entree and an appetizer into one with the Hot-N-Ready Slices-N-Stix. Four pepperoni slices, eight Italian Cheese Stix, and a side of Crazy Sauce.

Grabbing my Hot-N-Ready pizza out of Little Caesars’ very cool and innovative Pizza Portal by scanning a QR code on my phone, I was surprised to see it personalized just for me. What I thought said “SES” on the outside, my initials, was actually S&S for Slices-N-Stix. A seemingly nice gesture from Caesar was just some insider employee scribble to make sure the pizza didn’t go into the wrong portal slot. I would have taken a picture of the sweet machine, but it was the most crowded Little Caesars I have ever been in, packed with customers and a line ten deep out the door. Friday night pizza night lives on!

Nine out of ten times when I order a customized pie, I get half and half, because who doesn’t love mixing up their bites? That desire to have slices of different identities made this latest creation alluring. I had to have it right away.

The only letdown was finding I didn’t get any Crazy Sauce in my box. I should have checked, but the location was such a madhouse that I didn’t dare open my glistening pizza in front of the 20 yet-to-be-satisfied people around me. Fortunately, my home is stocked with pasta sauce, so the evening went on swimmingly.

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Pasta

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Pizza Closeup

The pepperoni pizza half is exactly what you would expect. I’ve found LC’s quality in the last couple of years to be much better than what I remember from the early 2000s. The sauce is zesty and flavorful, the cheese is gooey and plentiful, and the pepperoni shiny and salty. With the foundation of a crust that has just enough heft to feel satisfying without being too bready.

Little Caesars Hot N Ready Slices N Stix Stix Closeup

This was my first time having the Italian Cheese Stix, and I really enjoyed them. Despite being on the same crust, the lack of sauce changes the dough’s flavor in a way that really highlights the fatty cheese. I loved the alternate cut style from the regular pizza half, which left me with a couple pieces that had no crust, just simple cheesy, bready bliss. When dunked in marinara, I get that classic parlor cheese bread flavor with just the right acidity amount. Yet, it still tastes different from the normal pizza slices with its altered ratios of toppings.

Slices-N-Stix is a really simple concept that’s executed perfectly. As usual with Little Caesars, it’s hard to nitpick the quality with its generous prices, and this limited offering delivers what it promises. Food doesn’t have to be crazy to be crazy good, and despite the missing Crazy Sauce, I can’t wait to have this one again before it inevitably disappears.

Purchased Price: $6.00
Size: One Pizza
Purchased at: Little Casears
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 pizza) 2950 calories, 141 grams of fat, 69 grams of saturated fat, 4.5 grams of trans fat, 355 milligrams of cholesterol, 6710 milligrams of sodium, 264 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of fiber, 14 grams of total sugars, and 161 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pillsbury Safe To Eat Raw Cookie Dough

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Pillsbury Safe to Eat Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Package

When life gives you a case of Pillsbury Safe To Eat Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, you make cookies. That’s what I found myself doing after getting enough cookie dough to bribe my way off Santa’s naughty list.

Pillsbury Safe to Eat Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Case

I mean, it’s not as if there’s something I’ve done this year that would get me on that list. Oh, wait. Do REALLY naughty things from the previous year roll over into the following year, like some tax breaks?

Hmm, I might need more dough.

Or I could steal Santa’s naughty list, so he won’t know who’s naughty or nice. Then no bribing necessary, and I can eat these all by myself. But getting caught would be a REALLY REALLY naughty thing that would earn me a permanent place on the list. I’ll risk that.

Now, does Santa use a paper list? Or maybe it’s on an iPad. But wait, is it a tangible list? Could it be in his head? We all know he works one day of the year delivering presents, but he could be spending the other 364 remembering who’s on the naughty list. Is he like a Scripps National Spelling Bee contestant? But instead of using flash cards with words that 95 percent of the US population doesn’t know exist, it’s naughty peoples’ names and addresses.

But then there’s getting to the North Pole. Although it’s easier with less ice. Then there are the many elves who are all armed with magic. Would wearing a stolen mall Santa suit get me past them?

Okay, let’s say it does. Now I have to deal with Santa himself because if the list is tangible, he must keep it near him at all times. But if I’m dressed up as Santa, I can’t get near him. Could I use Mrs. Claus as a mark and persuade her to bring me the list? But if it’s all in his head, do I have to give him amnesia or do some quick brain surgery?

Nah, this plan has now gotten too complicated.

I’m just going to bribe Santa with these fresh baked cookies because I’m sure the big guy would not be moved by pre-packaged ones.

Pillsbury Safe to Eat Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Baked

These are tasty enough that I would bake the entire dough case I was given for myself, if I didn’t have to get into Santa’s good graces. After they’ve cooled a bit, they have a chewy middle, crispy edges, and gooey chocolate chips, which I expected since these are made to taste, look, and feel exactly like the previous not-recommended-eating-raw formulation of the cookies. Sadly, baking these don’t make my kitchen smell like chocolate chip cookies.

But this dough can also be eaten raw. How does Pillsbury do that? Well, it involves taking the ingredients that can cause illnesses when not cooked — the flour and eggs — and basically cooking them. So the flour is heat treated and the eggs are pasteurized. You can read more about Pillsbury’s Safe to Eat Raw products by going to the company’s page about it.

Pillsbury Safe to Eat Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Raw

Having baked three-fourths of a package and eating some raw, I prefer them baked because the cookie’s flavors, especially the sugar and chocolate, pop more. Although it’s nice to have options when consuming them. But the raw cookie dough was a bit too much for me. While I could eat four or five baked cookies in a row, I wanted to eat just two dough pieces. I guess that’ll help prevent me from getting Santa bod since I don’t have disguise myself as Saint Nick anymore.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the product. (Thanks, Pillsbury!) Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 16 oz package
Purchased at: Received from Pillsbury
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) 170 calories, 8 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber 15 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: KIND Cereal

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KIND Cereal Boxes

2020 is the year of many firsts, including what I’m calling “fancy cereal.” Starting with General Mills’ $13 Morning Summit cereal that made headlines earlier this year to KIND’s newest $6.98 box of cereal. We’re on a new level of bougie cereal, y’all.

Best known for its fruit and nut bars, KIND has quadrupled down with four new cereal flavors – Apple Cinnamon, Cranberry Almond, Dark Chocolate Almond, and Honey Almond.

These sound like standard, well-known flavors, but they’ve been amped with super grains (sorry Paleo-ers, they’re full of sorghum, quinoa, and amaranth). Two of the four flavors – Dark Chocolate Almond and Cranberry Almond – are also bar flavors, so there’s added familiarity.

The shiny, expensive-looking packaging helped a bit with my initial sticker shock. Perception is such a funny thing, but the cardboard’s heavier weight and beautiful food images were very appealing and helped me begin to rationalize the price.

After examining all four flavors, the concept seemed pretty formulaic: same base flake with fruit and nut inclusions. These base flakes looked like thicker, brown, and lumpy corn flakes. I guess that’s what happens when it’s made of super grains! They were generally plain tasting – lacking even the toasted fragrance found in usual cereal grains like corn and oat. But, it was a proper backdrop for all the added goodies as it has a non-intrusive, but unmistakable grain note.

But the Cranberry Almond and Dark Chocolate Almond included an accompanying colored flake – pink and brown, respectively. This plays an important role as you’ll read on later, but these did subtlety taste like their respective flavors.

But back to the formula. Inclusions aren’t game-changing as we’ve seen cereal jazzed up with marbits, two scoops of raisins, etc. for decades now. I find the fancy nut inclusions, like the pepitas in the Apple Cinnamon flavor, are more like something I’d find in muesli or granola.

But, what really stood out was the consistent delivery of each component with every pour. Usually, it’s a slim ratio of the expensive stuff to cereal bits, but there’s no skimping here. This is crucial because I found that the flavor comes from these inclusions — from the sweet pops of dried fruit to the rich, nutty almond notes.

With all the different textures from the dried fruit, nuts, and the super grain flakes themselves, it was quite crunchy. Even when I left it sitting just a bit longer, it didn’t turn immediately into mush. As an ice chewer, I personally enjoy texture over soggy cereal!

There was truly no bad egg of the four. However, the two that surprised and delighted me the most were Cranberry Almond and Dark Chocolate Almond.

KIND Cranberry Almond Cereal

KIND Dark Chocolate Almond Cereal

As I mentioned earlier, each of these included a different color flake and the plain base flake. The natural coloring washed into the milk and produced millennial pink-colored and chocolate-colored milk. So fun!

KIND Cranberry Almond Cereal Milk

KIND Dark Chocolate Almond Cereal Milk

The Cranberry Almond pink was purely visual as the subtle cranberry flavor was overpowered by the milk. The chocolate one seemed more indulgent as it did actually create chocolate cereal milk. The little, semi-sweet chocolate rectangles added a nice extra bit of choco-goodness as well.

KIND Honey Almond Cereal

Honey Almond, surprisingly, didn’t give me as much delight as the previous two. While it clearly listed toasted coconut as an ingredient on the box, I didn’t expect that to be the dominant flavor. I know they probably wanted to be consistent in saying that almonds are the number one ingredient across all four, but they should’ve at least named it Coconut Almond to reflect what it actually tastes like!

KIND Apple Cinnamon Cereal

Apple Cinnamon was more middle of the road for me – not offensive but didn’t surprise and delight like the others. The base flake did slightly deviate from the rest as it was the cinnamon flavor source, but it was very lightly flavored. So, it reminded me of good ol’ cinnamon Cheerios.

KIND Apple Cinnamon Cereal Red Puffed Rice

I didn’t think that I would like dried apple pieces in cereal, but I was proven wrong. Also, unlike the other varieties, there were some red puffed rice pieces. I was unclear what purpose they served as they didn’t really add any additional flavor or visual interest.

If I’m going to gripe about anything, it’s the prominent touting of 5-6 grams of protein per serving. Is that supposed to be a lot?! My usual nowadays, Special K Protein, is three times that! So, the nutrition isn’t quite there to replace my go-to, but a Dark Chocolate Almond bowl as a regular treat sounds like a great plan to me.

Purchased Price: $6.98 each
Size: 15 oz boxes
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Apple Cinnamon), 8 out of 10 (Cranberry Almond), 9 out of 10 (Dark Chocolate Almond), 7 out of 10 (Honey Almond)
Nutrition Facts: (55 grams) Cranberry Almond – 230 calories, 8 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein. Dark Chocolate Almond – 240 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein. Apple Cinnamon – 220 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 44 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein. Honey Almond – 250 calories, 11 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein.

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