REVIEW: Sonic Espresso Shake

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Sonic Espresso Shake Cup

I consider myself a late adopter of “hot, caffeinated beverages.” I didn’t become a regular coffee drinker until my early 30s, and never had an espresso until a couple of years later.

This is probably why I’m not generally one to opt for coffee, mocha, or espresso-flavored inclusions to my other foods or beverages. Mocha turkey sandwich? Pass. Coffee-rubbed pepperoni on my pizza? No thank you.

One exception to the “dear coffee, please do not mate with my other food” rule are sweets. Coffee — and its coffee-adjacent friends — lend themselves quite naturally to things like cakes, pies, and ice creams. And because a milkshake is but ice cream and milk, it only makes sense that one might infuse it with a caffeinated beverage.

Sonic Espresso Shake Top

Enter Sonic’s new Espresso Shake. According to Sonic’s website, its shake blends vanilla ice cream with “original cold brew iced coffee,” which, okay, I know I’ve established I’m a novice when it comes to hot go-go juice, but aren’t “coffee” and “espresso” two different things? I mean, espresso is coffee, but it’s generally made in a different way and is a far more concentrated substance. But I guess like me, maybe Sonic doesn’t have an espresso machine, and so here we are.

Sonic Espresso Shake Straw

Sonic’s shakes, for the uninitiated, are usually pretty consistent with their viscosity. They’re somewhere between “sucking this hard on the straw hurts my cheeks” and “this is a bit too runny to warrant a spoon.” In other words, optimal milkshake consistency. What is also consistently good is Sonic’s ice cream, which is perfectly creamy and perfectly sweet.

Now that brings us to the flavoring. If Sonic has an issue with frozen drink construction, this is it. With my first taste, my thought was, “Oh, hey, I like this.” The espresso flavor was much milder than I’d been anticipating, though certainly present. (And after reading on the website how they make it, I guess maybe now I know why it was so muted.) My second and third sips were fairly similar, but the fourth left me wondering, “Wait, what happened to the slight coffee taste?” It had disappeared, and I was left with nothing more than a creamy vanilla milkshake.

This went on for a few more sips from the straw, and then, boom, another coffee pocket. Now, I understand that I might not get a blob of banana in every drink of a banana shake, but how Sonic can make a liquid add-in so hit or miss is perplexing. It would have been almost impressive, really, had it not been so disappointing. I wanted more coffee taste, not less.

Perhaps making the milkshake with coffee ice cream would have upped the wow factor. (Or, for that matter, given it a wow factor.) Maybe I should have gone with the Oreo Espresso Shake because don’t Oreo pieces make most things more palatable? As it stands, I’m not sure I’d order the Espresso Shake again — not with so many other Sonic shake options at my disposal.

Purchased Price: $3.19
Size: Small
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable on Sonic’s website

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REVIEW: Hershey’s Sugar Cookie Kisses

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Hershey s Sugar Cookie Kisses Bag

For as long as I can remember, the Hershey’s Kisses have been literally ringing in the holiday season.

But as iconic as that commercial is, I have no reason to buy those red- and green-wrapped Kisses. That may have been exciting in the 1980s and ’90s, but in the 21st century, we like seasonal flavors to go with our seasonal wrappers.

Fortunately, Hershey’s has done exactly that by gifting us with its new Sugar Cookie Kisses, described as “sugar cookie flavored white creme with cookie pieces.”

When I open the bag, there’s a strong scent, but it doesn’t remind me of sugar cookies. It’s just vague sweetness.

Hershey s Sugar Cookie Kisses Star

Each Kiss is wrapped in silver foil with classic shapes printed on it: trees, stars, ornaments, hearts, and bells. It’s a subtle touch that brings me joy.

Inside the wrappers, the Kisses are standard white creme with red and green cookie pieces throughout. They’re nice and festive, but how is the taste?

Hershey s Sugar Cookie Kisses Split

Well, I don’t know how the creme is supposed to be “sugar cookie flavored,” but it tastes like regular white creme to me. The cookie pieces are crunchy like you’d find in a standard Hershey’s Cookies’ N’ Creme bar, just without the chocolate flavor. This summer, Hershey’s had Red White & Blue Cookies’ N’ Creme Bars. These Kisses remind me of those, almost exactly. But they certainly don’t taste like sugar cookies.

There is one way I am able to get a sugar cookie flavor. Instead of chewing, I let the white creme melt in my mouth until I have a lump of cookie pieces, then I chew on those. And they do taste like sugar cookies! I just wish the Kisses tasted like that no matter how I choose to eat them.

Hershey s Sugar Cookie Kisses Bowl

Even though I’m a little disappointed in Sugar Cookie Kisses, I’m not mad at Hershey’s. I appreciate that it creates these different seasonal flavors, and I hope it keeps doing so. Next year, if it used ginger cookies instead of these plain ones, that could be speculoos-tacular!

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 9 oz bag
Purchased at: Smith’s Marketplace
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (7 pieces) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 40 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 12 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Blueberry Muffin, Apple Fritter, and Cinnamon Roll

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McDonald s Blueberry Muffin Innards

The McCafe brand has been an undeniable success for McDonald’s all around the globe. Its expanded coffee offerings have allowed the company to keep up with Starbucks with the added benefit of establishing a retail brand visible in the coffee aisle of grocery stores.

You can pull up to the drive-thru speaker and order a large, iced, non-fat Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso, hazelnut syrup, a chocolate drizzle, and whipped cream while also getting a McNuggets Happy Meal with a Buzz Lightyear toy for your kid. But if you ever craved a treat to accompany your obnoxiously complex McCafe drink, you were usually left with the choice of a handheld apple pie or a rather uninspiring chocolate chip cookie.

McDonald’s has wisely decided to expand its once meager baked goods selection by introducing the McCafe Blueberry Muffin, Apple Fritter, and Cinnamon Roll.

The Blueberry Muffin comes surrounded by a lovely tulip-style muffin wrapper to help distract from the fact that it was handed to me in the same bag as a packet of tangy bbq sauce. The muffin is adorned with a streusel crumb topping and a sprinkling of crystallized sugar that adds a really nice, subtle crunch when consuming.

McDonald s Blueberry Muffin

It is very tender and moist with somewhat sparse but delicious blueberries mixed throughout. There is a slight aftertaste of either a preservative or artificial flavor that I find common in boxed blueberry muffin mixes. While I would have to say that it is borderline too sweet for a blueberry muffin, I think the texture and overall flavor make it a nice addition to McDonald’s menu.

McDonald s Apple Fritter

Apple Fritters are never much to look, and the McCafe offering is no exception. It’s a brown, bumpy mound with a glazed outside that gives way to a dense center with abundant swirls of cinnamon. When biting in, you instantly get the warm cinnamon filling your mouth, followed closely by the tart apple flavor.

McDonald s Apple Fritter Innards

The light icing adds just the right amount of sweetness, and the dense but tender texture is perfect for a fritter. As one of my favorite treats, I love an apple fritter to have a crispy edge, which this did not. It could also benefit from more abundant apple pieces. But this is the treat I’ll be craving next time I pull into the drive-thru.

McDonald s Cinnamon Roll

The Cinnamon Roll looks the part, served warm with deep valleys of sugar and cinnamon in between the swirled dough and enough cream cheese icing to run down the sides but not flooding the entire roll with an overwhelming sweetness. From the moment I first tried to cut off a piece, I could tell that the outside had gotten tough, no doubt from being reheated.

McDonald s Cinnamon Roll Innards

Perhaps it once had that ideal slightly doughy, gooey center, but lost it in the microwave, sacrificed for the sake of quick service. It is a real shame that the texture is too tough because the cinnamon flavor and the cream cheese frosting are spot on, with the overall level of sweetness being just right. As a big fan of McDonald’s Cinnamon Melts, I can’t help but wish the company just revived it instead because it is a far superior product.

Purchased Price: $1.99 (Blueberry Muffin), $2.19 (Apple Fritter), $2.49 (Cinnamon Roll)
Size: N/A
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Blueberry Muffin), 9 out of 10 (Apple Fritter), 5 out of 10 (Cinnamon Roll)
Nutrition Facts: Blueberry Muffin – 470 calories, 22 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 64 grams of carbohydrates, 36 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 6 grams of protein. Apple Fritter – 510 calories, 29 grams of fat, 12 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 360 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 28 grams of sugar, 3 grams of fiber, and 5 grams of protein. Cinnamon Roll – 560 calories, 17 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 490 milligrams of sodium, 92 grams of carbohydrates, 46 grams of sugar, 8 grams of fiber, and 9 grams of protein.

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REVIEW: Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices

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Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Cans

Much like the other Monster Juice line varieties, the artwork on the new Monster Papillon and Khaotic cans are striking. Both have a common theme — LSD hallucinations, I mean, butterflies.

Khaotic features light use of butterflies, while Papillon (French for butterfly) has large ones in its design. I also thought about putting a line or two about the butterfly effect here, but my brain shut down while attempting to comprehend its Wikipedia. Or I might’ve fallen asleep. I should’ve chugged one of these energy juices while reading it. The 160 milligrams of caffeine in each can might’ve helped.

Khaotic is a reformulation of the original Monster Energy Juice flavor, Khaos. According to the can, the flavor was lightened up, and the juice blend was adjusted. While Khaos has 30% juice, this has just 10%. According to its can, Papillon has a light, subtle flavor with hints of peach and nectarine, and it contains 5% juice.

Monster Papillon and Khaotic Energy Juices Glasses

As you can see in the photo above, both are orange, which might make you wonder whether the poured out beverages are sitting next to their appropriate cans. Is the lighter orange Papillon or Khaotic? Is the darker orange one Khaotic or Papillon? Am I messing with you, and the photo is actually correct? I guess you’ll have to purchase both to find out.

And if you do buy both, neither will disappoint because they’re tasty.

While Papillon’s can mentions peach and nectarine, the ingredients list specifies apple, peach, pear, and pineapple juice concentrates, along with mango and banana purees. Its aroma doesn’t quite smell like peach to me. Instead, my nose detects passion fruit. The flavor is peach-heavy, but at the backend I taste passion fruit, which is odd since the fruit isn’t mentioned on the can. Maybe the tropical ingredients listed give it that flavor.

It’s been a while since I had Khaos, but I remember not being impressed with it. But Khaotic is mighty refreshing, and it sure doesn’t taste like it has less juice. Much like Papillon, it contains a chaotic list of juice concentrates — apple, orange, peach, tangerine, pineapple, and white grape. All those fruits give it a tropical-like flavor, with pineapple and citrus standing out the most. It’s a great flavor, and I like it a tad more than Papillon.

Overall, both are great tasting additions to the Monster Juice line. While I don’t think they overtake my favorites, Pacific Punch and Pipeline Punch, I see myself buying either to mix it up every so often.

Purchased Price: More than I should on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz cans
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Papillon), 8 out of 10 (Khaotic)
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) Papillon – 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 190 milligrams of sodium, 50 grams of carbohydrates, 48 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. Khaotic – 160 calories, 0 grams of fat, 115 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbohydrates, 37 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Drake’s Alpine Yodels

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Drake s Alpine Yodels Box

What are Drake’s Alpine Yodels?

I don’t know about you, but Yodelers remind me of fresh alpine snow.

I guess the good folks at Drake’s agree because they’ve decided to invert the color (and flavor) of their classic chocolate snack rolls.

How are they?

I grew up with a guy named Al Pine.

He was just another generic white dude who didn’t really bring much to the table. I can’t say I necessarily enjoyed his presence, but he was… fine? Pretty boring. Decent guy, I guess.

Ok, I’m lying. Al Pine’s not real, but everything I said about him rings true to new Alpine Yodels. I’m pretty sure they’d be dead center on the “best snack cake” chart. These could literally be the barometer for average.

Drake s Alpine Yodels Coating

Obviously, the usual Yodel chocolate is replaced by a bland, “as mildly salty as sweet,” white plastic fudge. I think? I don’t actually know what Drake’s classifies its shell as.

Drake s Alpine Yodels Filling

When you couple that thin coating of milky nothing with a yellow cake and the usual crème, you’re left with just a benign vanilla-ish flavor that will make you yearn for chocolate.

Anything else you need to know?

Drake s Alpine Yodels Wrapper

Fresh Yodels have a great texture, so while these don’t burst with flavor, that aspect was still as enjoyable as I remember. Yet I’m bummed because I love a good Yodel, or Devil Dog, or Ding Dong.

Conclusion:

If the shell was double the thickness with a stronger white chocolate flavor, these would creep up the list. But for now, I stand by the assessment that they are the most average snack cake of all time. Maybe that’s your thing, but if I indulge in a snack cake, it might as well be worth the calories.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11.6 oz box
Purchased at: Acme
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Cakes) 280 calories, 15 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of total carbohydrates, 24 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 1 gram of protein.

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