REVIEW: Monster Energy Ultra Gold

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Monster Energy Ultra Gold Can

What is the Monster Energy Ultra Gold?

It’s a sugar-free, golden pineapple-flavored energy drink that’s part of the popular Monster Energy Ultra line, which includes such flavors as Watermelon, Fiesta, Rosa, Paradise, Violet, Red, Blue, and Black.

How is it?

Well, I know people are going to disagree with me about this because I’ve had folks tell me that this is one of their favorite Monster Ultra varieties. It’s good, but not great because I wish the pineapple flavor was stronger.

Monster Energy Ultra Gold Closeup

The perfect example of the pineapple potency I wish Ultra Gold had is Pepsi Pineapple. It tastes like I climbed a pineapple tree with a tall glass of Pepsi, grabbed a fruit, sliced off its skin, and squeezed its flesh so that its juice flavored the cola.

I know some of you are going to say I’m completely wrong about the level of pineapple in this energy drink, much like many of you are going to say I’m completely wrong about pineapples growing on trees. But I can taste how it might be just right for others.

(Side note: I find it funny that pines are a type of tree and apples grow on trees, but pineapples grow on short plants.)

Anything else you need to know?

I know it’s just a color, but the Monster Energy Ultra Gold Energy Drink can is a pleasure to stare at. It’s a gorgeous gold. Also, when I look at it, I imagine it’s the result of C-3PO getting recycled.

Conclusion:

Monster Energy Ultra Gold smells divine, but its fruity flavor is too light to my liking. With that said, it’s still a tasty way to get 150 milligrams of caffeine into my bloodstream, and it’s good enough that I would repurchase it.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of erythritol, 0 grams of protein, and 150 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Nestle Coffee mate New Winter 2021 Coffee Creamer Flavors

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Nestle Coffe mate Milk Chocolate M M s Creamer

For those of you who don’t follow coffee creamers, winter is usually the time of year when a slew of them are introduced. This winter, Nestle Coffee mate is offering nine new products, but I’m going to be focusing on three of them here, which I received from the brand.

Milk Chocolate M&M’s Creamer

I very much know what Milk Chocolate M&M’s taste like due to my insistence that Fun Size packs should only be eaten by pouring their entire contents into my mouth instead of consuming them one by one like a bird, if birds ate M&M’s. Even though it’s primarily milk chocolate, the classic candy has a distinct flavor.

So after going through half a bottle of Coffee mate’s Milk Chocolate M&M’s Creamer, I have to say I don’t taste the popular candy, whether it’s in coffee or poured straight into my mouth as if the bottle is my mama bird and I’m a baby bird waiting for sustenance to land into my mouth.

I mean, it’s definitely milk chocolatey, and it turns any coffee I make with it into a tasty mocha-flavored beverage. However, it’s hard to distinguish the creamer as an M&M’s product, making it a little disappointing.

Size: 32 fl oz bottle
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 tbsp) 35 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar (includes 5 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

Glazed Donut Creamer

Nestle Coffee mate Glazed Donut Creamer

The donut and coffee combo has been around as long as chocolate and peanut butter have been in each other’s business. So it’s not surprising to see Nestle attempt to recreate a donut’s flavor within a coffee creamer. However, I don’t think the brand accomplished that.

What I taste leans more towards birthday cake frosting than a glazed donut when I add it to my daily iced coffee and when I try it on its own. There aren’t any fried dough notes or anything that reminds me of a pastry.

This Coffee mate Glazed Donut Creamer is not what I was hoping for, but it’s serviceable. If you want to experience donuts and coffee, you’re going to have to do it the old fashioned way.

Size: 16 fl oz bottle
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 tbsp) 35 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar (includes 5 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

Oatmeal Creme Pie Creamer

Nestle Coffee mate Oatmeal Creme Pie Creamer

Full disclosure: I don’t think I’ve ever had a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie. Oh, I think I just heard and felt everyone’s collective gasp. Or it could’ve been the wind. But I know what oatmeal cookies taste like and, after licking so many white, creamy, and sugary things in my life, my worn down taste buds might have an idea of what the creme tastes like. So I think I know what flavors to expect in this coffee creamer.

And one of those is, and this will sound super weird or wrong, whole grain oats. I’ve had enough oat milk in my life to know what oats taste like in liquid form, and I swear I taste something like it in this. Speaking of oats in liquid form, I wonder how this would taste if it was Coffee mate Natural Bliss Oatmeal Creme Pie Oat Milk Creamer. Just something for you to think about, Nestle.

As for other cookie ingredients, I also taste cinnamon and brown sugar. Oh, I should mention this smells precisely like oatmeal cookies, and it’s magnificent. As for the creme, my taste buds didn’t notice anything that could be considered creme-flavored. But, now that I think about it, it would be difficult to detect among the other bolder flavors.

Out of the three varieties here, I think this one is the best and most accurate tasting. But I wish it didn’t come only in a 16-ounce bottle.

Size: 16 fl oz bottle
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 tbsp) 35 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar (includes 5 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

DISCLOSURE: I received free samples of the products. Thanks, Nestle! Doing so did not influence my review in any way.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Mint Chip Shake

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Dairy Queen Mint Chip Shake Cup

What is the Dairy Queen Mint Chip Shake?

Shamrock Shake season will soon be upon us, so Dairy Queen has joined the minty menagerie. This shake has Crème de Menthe mixed with “chocolate cone coating” in vanilla soft serve.

This isn’t the first time Dairy Queen has offered a minty shake, but it is the first time I have had one. (Not to be confused with the mint Blizzard, which you can guarantee will come back in some form in time for March.)

How is it?

The best way to describe it is “delightful but safe.”

Mint is my favorite flavor, so I loved drinking it. It was cool and refreshing, like mint chocolate chip ice cream in liquid form. I had no problem consuming it through a thick metal straw. (I’m trying to reduce my plastic consumption—even though it’s served in a plastic cup.)

Dairy Queen Mint Chip Shake Closeup

The “chocolate cone coating” description is a little confusing, but I think it means it’s the same chocolate they use for dipped cones. It reminded me of the chocolate pieces in any off-brand mint chocolate chip ice cream, only thinner. The chocolate pieces are crunchy but not hard. I think it’s semisweet chocolate, but I’m no cocoa connoisseur.

I have no complaints, but even if you have never been to Dairy Queen, you have had this shake before. I really enjoyed it, but it’s no different from a mint shake or ice cream anywhere else.

Anything else you need to know?

The green coloring is more subdued than in the advertisements. Isn’t a vibrant green the whole point of mint shakes at this time of year?

Conclusion:

Dairy Queen Mint Chip Shake Top

If you want a mint shake and Dairy Queen is the closest, go for it. But any other place will do just as good a job.

Purchased Priced: $3.29
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 550 calories, 220 calories from fat, 24 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fatty acid, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 61 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Pretzel Salted Caramel

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Pop Tarts Pretzel Salted Caramel Box

What are Pop-Tarts Pretzel Salted Caramel?

Everyone’s preferred toaster pastry is pillowed in a puffy pretzel… pjacket. Okay, I took some alliterative stretches there, but it felt good and so I just went for it. This new flavor — which joins its previous pretzel brethren Cinnamon Sugar and Chocolate — is meant to capture the hearts of breakfast pastry aficionados who need some salt with their sweet.

How is it?

Pop Tarts Pretzel Salted Caramel Top

Well, salty and sweet. And (to my surprise, I’ll admit) really good! The outer shell — the “pretzel” component, if you will — is just a bit crispy and quite salty. There’s an icing drizzle on the outside that you don’t get much from, but the inside filling is sweet (though not overwhelmingly so) and a bit chewy with a decidedly pronounced caramel flavor.

Pop Tarts Pretzel Salted Caramel Filling

My only complaint at all is that there just isn’t enough caramel filling. It’s a very thin layer that seems to primarily reside solely down the middle of the tart. Evening it out — and providing more — would elevate this a full point.

Anything else you need to know?

Pop Tarts Pretzel Salted Caramel Bottom

I’m a firm believer that Pop-Tarts can be enjoyed both toasted and in their natural, raw state; not so with this variety. I tried it both ways and found the un-toasted one, well, frankly pretty bad. The outer shell was chewy and bland and the filling lost some style points, too. If you don’t own a toaster, you should get married because you’ll get a few of them, but in the interim, you may want to skip the pretzel Pop-Tarts.

Conclusion:

While the Pretzel Salted Caramel isn’t going to displace Brown Sugar Cinnamon or Chocolate or Frosted Strawberry or Blueberry as anyone’s primary Tart of choice, it is fine as a new addition to the Kellogg’s breakfast pastry family. Just make sure you actually toast it first, please.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 8 pastries (4 packs)
Purchased at: Sun Fresh
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 12 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 710 milligrams of sodium, 66 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dairy Queen Red Velvet Cake Blizzard

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Dairy Queen Red Velvet Cake Blizzard Top

What is the Dairy Queen Red Velvet Cake Blizzard?

It’s Dairy Queen’s Blizzard of the Month for February, and it features red velvet cake pieces and cream cheese icing with, as always, vanilla soft serve. This is not technically new, as DQ has offered it in February a few times in the past. But it’s been five years since the last time it was available, according to our handy-dandy Blizzard of the Month List.

How is it?

Dairy Queen Red Velvet Cake Blizzard Sign

We all know better than to expect fast food to actually look like it does in a commercial or promotional photo, but the difference here was pretty glaring. Based on the window sign at DQ (and the name of this Blizzard), I was expecting it to be, you know, red. What I got was basically white with small red freckles and a tinge of reddish-pink. I think it was partly a blending issue, as the population of cake pieces increased dramatically as I tunneled downward, but even then, the reddish color only increased modestly.

I’m also not sure enough of the cake pieces were pulverized in the blending process to spread their redness around. A better blending might have made it slightly closer to the color on the window sign but still far from the vibrant red-pink color shown on the DQ website.

Dairy Queen Red Velvet Cake Blizzard Spoon

Of course, the more important issue is how it tastes, and the flavor of this one really makes up for the underwhelming appearance. For one thing, it’s different than most Blizzards, with no chocolate overload or extreme sweetness. The red velvet cake delivers a subtle chocolatey flavor that seems a bit more complex than just “regular chocolate,” and the cream cheese brings a sweet creaminess that pairs nicely. This won’t blow away your taste buds with a powerful burst of flavor, but it should make them happy.

Anything else you need to know?

I needed to know exactly what red velvet cake is because, to be honest, I was not exactly sure. I’ve had it many times, and I liked it, because, duh, it’s cake. But I’m not sure I could really describe what it tastes like. I’m still not really sure.

Some will claim that it’s just chocolate cake with red food coloring, but “real” red velvet cake generally includes cocoa, buttermilk, and vinegar, which together provide the reddish hue through a chemical reaction. Scanning the ingredients on the DQ website, it appears this red velvet cake is closer to a red-colored chocolate cake. It does contain cocoa, but there is no mention of buttermilk or vinegar.

Dairy Queen Red Velvet Cake Blizzard Cake Closeup

As you can see from a cross-section of a piece, it’s not exactly light and fluffy like you might imagine for cake; it’s really more the consistency of a red velvet brownie. So if you are a red velvet cake purist, this might not be for you.

Conclusion:

I’m always down for a Blizzard that is not some rehashed combination of chocolate, fudge, and Oreo, and this, well, it takes the cake for being different. It’s not the best Blizzard I’ve had, but it stands out as being unique for having two flavors not found in any other versions I can recall, and together they taste excellent. So this is a perfect treat to share with your significant (or even insignificant) other on Valentine’s Day or any time before it disappears for another five years.

Purchased Price: $4.79
Size: Medium
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (Medium) 910 calories, 37 grams of fat, 19 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 500 milligrams of sodium, 128 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 90 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

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