Reviews – Page 231 – The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: Doritos Tangy Ranch!

Sean / August 11, 2021 / Reviews / 9 Comments

Everyone has that one junk food that got away. One of the most elusive snacking memories I’ve been hopelessly clinging onto and clamoring for is Doritos Sonic Sour Cream!

The history is a bit wonky, but for ME, these Doritos popped up sometime in the mid to late 90s in a gorgeous Joker-esque lime green bag with purple accents and vanished in the early 2000s. They may have origins even deeper than that, tracing back to a Sour Cream and Onion Doritos in the 70s, but that doesn’t sound or look nearly as cool as the neon green Sonic finished with a very 90s exclamation mark. They were like Cool(er) Ranch Doritos but more seasoned, more creamy, and honestly…the bag looked cooler. I got them every time I could.

All this nostalgic babble is simply to say I was ecstatic when I heard about the new Doritos Tangy Ranch! A cool bag, albeit not quite lime green, more of a teal, but still new and slightly 90s, and the word “tangy” with an exclamation mark. Tang is definitely what comes to mind when I think about sour cream. Could these be a rebranding and relaunching of the chip that has escaped me my entire adult life? *cue Law & Order transition music*

No. No, they are not. Despite the return of the exclamation mark and the nod to the 90s design, these are not sonic, nor are they sour cream, but they are good! The first massive difference I notice when crunching into these corny chips is the aggressive garlic punch that finishes with just a touch of a fiery tickle. I wouldn’t go so far as to call them spicy, but they’re spicier than your standard Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese. Think heavy-handed garlic combined with black pepper.

The flavor rounds out with a buttermilk tang and a touch of dill for a flavor that is, appropriately, pretty ranch-y. As with all Doritos, some chips are very heavily seasoned, and others are merely speckled. The ones with the most seasoning are truly tang-tactic, veering on spicy, and the speckled ones are pretty mild.

My memory of Sonic Sour Cream! is a smoother taste with a particularly white powder that emphasized the creamy, like a cousin of white cheddar popcorn seasoning, and this definitely isn’t that. But I had to know how these compare to the OG, so I went back to the store and got Doritos Cool Ranch for a side by side, and yeah, these Tangy Ranch! really do lay on the garlic.

By comparison, the Cool Ranch chips are smoother, creamier, and noticeably less zesty, but not boring in the slightest. Cool Ranch has always been my favorite of the easy-to-find original line, and I stand by that opinion. They’re so so good and endlessly snackable; I never want to stop. If you’re a fan of Doritos Cool Ranch and aren’t afraid of a little garlic breath, Tangy Ranch! is definitely worth a shot.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 2 3/4 ounce bag
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (17 chips, 28g) 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Jack in the Box Spicy Tiny Tacos

Marvo / August 10, 2021 / Reviews / 6 Comments

Don’t let the red color fool you into thinking the shells used for Jack in the Box’s Spicy Tiny Tacos are spicy. I assure you those ominous Lucifer eyelid-shaped shells bring no heat whatsoever. There isn’t any seasoning on or in them unless you count red food coloring.

But their color, along with the somewhat surprising look of the filling inside them, have got me thinking about elves, hung stockings, and decorated Christmas trees.

Wait. What? Christmas?

When I reveal to you what’s in every Spicy Tiny Taco, you’ll understand my fast food friends.

Yup, it’s green. Actually, it’s more so in real life than what my iPhone’s camera shows. The familiar shiny dark green pieces make it safe to assume that the filling is a combination of ground pickled jalapeños and, like the original Tiny Tacos, ground chicken and spices.

The peppers bring more heat than flavor, but I didn’t mind that because the simple combo that makes up the filling is tasty enough that I’m happy eating them by themselves. But I’m even more content when I dip the red Tiny Tacos into the ranch dipping sauce that came with my order. The tangy accoutrement tempers the spiciness but adds another level of flavor on top of the seasoned meat and jalapeño. What I got is probably the default, but I imagine you could enhance your tacos with any sauce Jack offers, even his Mystery Sauce.

As for spiciness, after eating all 15 Spicy Tiny Tacos in one sitting, my nose did start running a little. But I didn’t need a cold beverage to soothe my mouth. Of course, mouths vary. But if you’ve had other Jack in the Box items that feature jalapeños, you’ll have an idea of the heat level.

There’s also a Loaded version that comes topped with lettuce, cheese, and taco sauce, which I also ordered. But mine didn’t come with cheese, so I won’t give it a rating here. However, I imagine, just like with the original Tiny Tacos, the toppings do enhance them, especially the taco sauce, which gives the side an additional kick and peppery flavor. So if you do decide to get the regular Spicy Tiny Tacos, I’d recommend grabbing a taco sauce packet or two to enhance them, which is what I’ll be doing when I order them again.

Jack’s Spicy Tiny Tacos are a great sequel to the original Tiny Tacos. In fact, I think they’re better. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Purchased Price: $4.99*
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 360 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 40 milligrams of cholesterol, 670 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

Fast Food Jack in the Box

REVIEW: Coca-Cola Zero Sugar (2021)

Marvo / August 9, 2021 / Reviews / 107 Comments

If you’re thinking, “Wait, didn’t Coca-Cola juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust reformulate Coke Zero Sugar?” Yes, it did back in 2017, when it also went from being called Coca-Cola Zero (cool name) to Coca-Cola Zero Sugar (not that cool of a name for some reason).

But a better question to ask is, “Why did Coca-Cola reformulate Coke Zero Sugar again?” Well, apparently, it found a way to make it “more delicious.” Coca-Cola says this updated Zero Sugar version uses the same recipe that’s been available in Europe and Latin America.

But the previous version here in the US was quite delicious and one of my go-to beverages whenever I need some thirst quenching. I don’t think there was anything wrong with it, but tiger parent Coca-Cola thinks there is. However, I’d like to point out that it doesn’t have a good track record when it comes to messing with its core products.

Exhibit A: New Coke.

Exhibit B: Diet Coke with Splenda.

Exhibit C: New Coke.

After comparing both Zero Sugar formulations, I have to say I prefer the old version over the new version. They both come close to tasting like regular Coke, but… ** RECORD SCRATCH **

Okay, so I wrote many words about how I thought the 2021 formulation isn’t as good, but I wrote all of that after drinking one can. However, I deleted almost all of those words because after going back and forth between two more cans of both formulas, I now believe this new one is “more delicious.”

Again, they both have that not quite original Coke flavor. But the new formula makes the artificial sweeteners in the older version stand out a bit more, particularly in the aftertaste. That difference makes this new cola have a flavor that’s more like a regular soda.

Also, not only does this one tastes better, this updated can looks better than the previous red, black, and white design.

Look, unless there’s some crazy New Coke reaction to this where sales completely plummet or the number of signatures on a change.org petition to bring back the old Coca-Cola Zero Sugar reaches six figures, I don’t see a return to the previous recipe. Of course, I’m fine with that because I think this is better. But I’d also be okay if anything I mentioned above causes the old one to return.

Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader, Spotted photo sender, and Coca-Cola Zero Sugar drinker Robbie, for sending me a few cans of the new formula. He prefers the older version over the new one.

Purchased Price: Received from reader
Size: 12 oz can
Purchased at: Sam’s Club
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (12 fl oz) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 40 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

Coca-Cola Coke Soda

REVIEW: Sonic Banana Pudding Shake

Brandon / August 6, 2021 / Reviews / 11 Comments

The first thing you should know before we really get into this review is that I love banana-flavored anything. Are you one of those insane people who pitch your banana Laffy Taffy or Runts? I will gladly take both off your hands. But my lust isn’t relegated to artificial banana flavoring alone, oh no. I am just as wild about bananas that come in a pie or in bread. You might say that I *checks notes* go ape for bananas.

There is, however, one blind spot in my yellow-fruit fanaticism: banana pudding. Honestly, it has less to do with my disinterest in that particular flavor and more to do with the fact that my pudding consumption is probably below average. According to an actual website I saw on the internet, 150 million Americans ate pudding in 2020; I’m honestly not sure if I was one of them. (And if I did, it was a very unimpressive amount — likely a single pudding cup.)

So how, then, would I find Sonic’s new Banana Pudding Shake? Let’s review.

Sonic’s shake-take on this Southern dessert classic features vanilla ice cream, banana pudding, banana pieces, Nilla wafers, whipped topping, and a maraschino cherry. As expected, this shake is VERY banana-centric.

The pudding was indiscernible from the vanilla ice cream, which was probably due to, you know, the blending process. So really, it ended up tasting like soupy banana ice cream. Thick chunks of banana abounded throughout the concoction necessitating the need for a spoon at times.

The whipped topping was creamy and sweet and provided a nice blanket for a mess of crushed up Nilla wafers. Speaking of, I was surprised and impressed that the wafers held their crunch for as long as they did; Nilla makes a sturdy wafer, it seems. The cherry was probably fine, but I don’t know since my daughter stole and ate it when I wasn’t looking.

This is the part of the review where you might be wondering how this compares to Sonic’s regular banana shake. Well, for starters, it’s much runnier. The pudding compromises the consistency of the treat, as one might expect. It does, however, also elevate the banana taste as well as add a nuanced layer of additional creaminess. The wafer pieces are also a noticeably different component, adding a welcome textural variance to the affair.

So is it worth it? For sure, but ONLY if you’re crazy about banana. This thing may even be too much for a casual banana fan. And if you don’t like bananas at all, it’s sort of weird that you read this whole thing. But thank you for your time, regardless, and I hope you have a great day.

Purchased Price: $3.79
Size: Small
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (small) 760 calories, 38 grams of fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 100 mg of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 94 grams of total carbohydrates, 64 gram of total sugars, less than 2 grams of fiber, and 11 grams of protein.

Fast Food Sonic

REVIEW: Lay’s Flavor Swap Cheetos, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Wavy Funyuns Potato Chips

Vin / August 5, 2021 / Reviews / 14 Comments

Looks like Frito-Lay is taking a cue from the entertainment industry and rebooting some of its classics.

Now before you start whining about your “ruined childhoods” or your disdain about swapping Chester Cheetah from corn to potato, just take a step back and admit that you’re intrigued. You know you are. You can’t tell me the entire idea of Frito-Lay Flavor Swaps isn’t exciting. I won’t believe you.

In my opinion, this is the most exciting thing it’s done in years. I was way more pumped to try these than the usual “Do Us a Flavor” releases. I mean, I already know I love the flavors. I’ve been eating them my entire life. My only question is, will said flavors translate in a potato chip form?

I figured the best way to attack the review was to tackle each flavor one at a time, then obviously compare them to the iconic snacks that inspired them.

Cheetos

First off, I’m shocked these weren’t kettle chips. Usually, when Frito-Lay does one of its gimmicky multi-chip rollouts, each style of chip is represented. I’d imagine most people think of the Crunchy Cheetos when they hear the name, so a crunchier chip would have made sense.

Whatever, I’m more of a puff guy anyway, so I’m fine with the decision to just make these Cheetos-flavored normal(?) chips. #PuffGang sound off in the comments!

Initially, these just had a generic cheese flavor. If you told me they were some kind of fancy “sharp” cheddar without showing me the bag, I wouldn’t have ever guessed “Cheetos.”

Once I tried them side by side with the actual Cheetos, I got it. I had to jog my flavor memory, but they definitely taste like Cheetos.

So yeah, they deliver. These chips taste like Cheetos dust, but they’re a little weaker. Of course, therein lies the problem – they taste like Cheetos dust, not necessarily Cheetos. More on that topic when I review the next flavor.

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 2.63 oz bag
Purchased at: Wawa
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 17 Chips) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

Cool Ranch

Cool Ranch Doritos might be one of the ten greatest flavors to ever grace the Earth. How could they possibly mess this up?

Well, as it turns out when Cool Ranch dust isn’t on a triangular tortilla chip, it just kinda tastes like a remixed sour cream and onion. Actually, I’d say it’s more like 1/4 ranch and 3/4 sour cream and onion.

I think you could be fooled into thinking that’s what they are. The chips do have that classic Cool Ranch speckle to them, but it’s not nearly as caked-on as the Doritos you’re used to. It’s kind of a bummer.

I mean, once you know what they are, you’re definitely gonna taste the Cool Ranch, but these are more like a Diet Cool Ranch if that makes sense. These suffer from the same thing as the Cheetos chips – thin potato chips are not an ideal delivery system for these flavors.

To be fair, I’m accustomed to the norm, so that might be clouding my scoring. That being said, I just think this flavor needs the crisp of a tortilla chip to really shine.

Cheetos and Doritos are as much about texture as they are about flavor. Sure, I knew what I was getting into, but when you take away that key corn-based component from both of them, the flavors really don’t pop as much.

But look… it’s still Cool Ranch. Even if they lean sour cream, they’re still delicious. They’re just nowhere near the 10 out 10 Cool Ranch Doritos they’re mimicking.

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 7.25 oz bag
Purchased at: Dollar General
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 17 Chips) 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

Funyuns

Now we’re talking!

For everything I just said about the texture of Cheetos and Doritos, Funyuns are the opposite for me. I love the flavor of Funyuns, but I absolutely hate the texture.

For all the crap Cap’n Crunch gets for shredding your palate, Funyuns should get double. They always taste stale and salty, so my mouth feels like the Sahara after chomping about seven rings.

These Funyuns-flavored chips are easily the best of the three, even though they probably have the most diminishing returns.

Whereas the Cheetos flavor bloomed as I went on, the onion flavor faded as I ate them, but Funyuns is the most lowkey flavor of the three, so it didn’t bother me. I ate the most of these in one sitting, and the first few chips were incredible.

The choice to make these wavy was also brilliant. Even though I don’t like the rings’ texture, I still appreciated a bit more crunch than the usual thin chips.

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 7.75 oz bag
Purchased at: Dollar General
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (about 15 Chips) 150 calories, 9 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

So, I have to say Funyuns was the overall victor here. Can’t say I expected that. Maybe if Cool Ranch and Cheetos were wavy or kettle chips, they would have won out, but I guess we’ll never know.

Don’t get me wrong, these are all good, and I love the Flavor Swap concept, but two of the three suffer from the old “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” adage.

One thing that really excites me about this release is that we might be one step closer to finally getting Frito-Lay-flavored dusts in the spice aisle. I’ve been calling for that since I was a kid. If you can sprinkle a potato chip with Cool Ranch, I should be able to sprinkle a piece of chicken with it. Let me put Cheetos dust on my burgers! Is that too much to ask?!

Maybe.

In the meantime, check these out. You know you’re probably gonna anyway. Cheetos and Doritos can’t be beat, but apparently, Funyuns can.

If these do well, we might even get some more swaps in the future. Please, keep ruining my childhood.

Cheetos Chips Doritos Frito-Lay Funyuns Lay's

REVIEW: Doritos Tangy Ranch!

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REVIEW: Jack in the Box Spicy Tiny Tacos

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REVIEW: Coca-Cola Zero Sugar (2021)

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REVIEW: Sonic Banana Pudding Shake

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REVIEW: Lay’s Flavor Swap Cheetos, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Wavy Funyuns Potato Chips

Cheetos

Cool Ranch

Funyuns

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