REVIEW: Papa Johns Garlic 5-Cheese Crust Pizza

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Like geologists, Papa Johns has been into crusts recently. More specifically, turning the plain toasted bread-flavored end crust of a pizza into something worthy of consumption. Earlier this year, it dug up the Cheddar Crust Pizza, which I loved. And now that cheesy crust is passing its mantle to the new Garlic 5-Cheese Crust Pizza, which features the chain’s core original crust seasoned with garlic parmesan sauce and a cheese blend of parmesan, romano, asiago, fontina, and provolone.

Much like my attempt to fit geology references into the paragraph above, I wondered if it was necessary to include five cheeses. Would eaters even be able to detect all five? Is this another situation like the number of blades in a disposable razor cartridge? Do we need five cheese crusts and seven blade razors? Well, unlike disposable razor blade cartridges with seven blades, the five cheeses here do make a tasty difference, even though I can’t detect all of them.

My order’s crust looked a tad overcooked. Although I assumed that was because of the catalog of toasted cheeses on it. When I took a bite of the crust, that browned layer gave my teeth delightful tremors with a crisp texture, and the soft dough below it had a pleasant chewiness. Then, the avalanche (oops, slipping back into geology references) of cheesiness came sliding over my taste buds. I can’t say one cheese stood out more than the other. Instead, it was a mingling of them. Also, some crust bites had a stronger flavor than others. But it’s almost as tasty as the Cheddar Crust Pizza.

However, the one flavor that seemed lacking, which I wish there were more of, was the garlic from the sauce. As someone who likes the pungent ingredient, I wanted garlic bread levels of the stuff, but it gets lost a bit among the cheeses. Which is not surprising since the chain’s Garlic Parmesan crust lacked a lot of garlic flavor. However, dipping the crust into Papa Johns’ obligatory Garlic Sauce can easily resolve this.

Much like the previously mentioned cheddar crust pizza, the crust on this menu item kind of reminds me of a cracker I’ve had. But it’s not instantly recognizable as the cheddar one, which I thought tasted like a Cheez-It.

As for the rest of the pizza, it’s what you’d expect from a Papa Johns’ pepperoni pizza. Mild mozzarella cheese, sweet pizza sauce, and salty and meaty pepperoni.

While Papa Johns’ limited time Garlic 5-Cheese Crust Pizza isn’t as earth-shattering as its cheddar predecessor, I think it’s worth a try while it’s still around.

Purchased Price: $15.99*
Size: Large
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 slice) 320 calories, 11 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Crush Electric Blue Razz Soda

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Crush Electric Blue Razz Soda 1.

It’s new! It’s blue! It’s like, totally tubular to the max! It’s Crush’s Back to the 80s Electric Blue Razz soda, and if you tend to like blue raspberry flavored things, you’re going to love it!

The can design, featuring a subtle vaporwave style background and some pixelated blue raspberries, really nails the 80s aesthetic. I can totally picture Ms. Pac-Man herself chasing down those squared off fruits, desperate for a taste of blue razz. But luckily for us, no mazes are required if you want to get your hands on some! It only took me a quick stop at my local Walmart.

Crush Electric Blue Razz Soda 2.

As soon as I popped the top on the first can, I was met with a scent as familiar and cozy as a well-worn blanket. That sweet, slightly tart, very blue scent I’ve grown accustomed to from a variety of candies and other treats greeted me like an old friend.

Crush Electric Blue Razz Soda 3.

The flavor was spot on. A sweet, bright top note followed by a quick burst of tartness, but it’s not sour. It finishes off with a well-balanced fruit-forward aftertaste. This stuff was exactly what I wanted from a blue raspberry soda. It hit every note perfectly, the only thing keeping it from achieving a perfect 10 out of 10 score is that the flavor was a bit milder than I’d hoped. It’s definitely more subtle than say, Mountain Dew. It does, however, make truly excellent floats. And if you have a Ninja Slushi, it makes for a movie-theater-worthy blue slush with the perfect texture and viscosity. All in all, I love this addition to the summer soda lineup. I hope it sticks around for a while. But just in case it doesn’t, I’ll be stocking up.

Sidenote: if you’ve ever wondered about blue raspberries and why they are just a flavor and aren’t an actual fruit, the answer is to help easily distinguish it from other “red” flavors and to replace a specific food dye that was discontinued in the 1970s. The more you know!

Purchased Price: $6.34
Size: 12 pack/12 oz cans
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Per Serving: 170 calories, 0 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of total carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 43 grams of total sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Dulce de Leche Cinnabon Delights

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Finally, something new from Taco Bell that won’t make a big dent in my contactless payment wallet.

The chain’s new Dulce de Leche Cinnabon Delights are warm donut holes stuffed with Dulce de Leche filling and dusted in salted caramel sugar. At two bucks or so for a two-pack, they’re at a level where it’s easy to add them to an order without the guilt. They’re also available in a 12-pack for sharing, binging, or adding guilt. However, I found them to be mediocre and not worth the 12-pack.

To test these and save money, I picked up a two-pack, and upon inspecting their exterior, they looked good. The salted caramel sugar gives every bite a sugary crispiness that somewhat makes up for the lack of crispiness from the dough’s fried exterior.

While dragging my tongue across the sugar like I’m a horse at a salt lick, I noticed a very weak caramel taste that didn’t have any saltiness. However, I knew that it would be the Dulce de Leche filling that I should be dulce de licking to get most of the flavor. And that filling was…meh. I’m not sure it hits the milky notes of dulce de leche, and instead tasted like a weakened caramel sauce.

Maybe it tasted weak because there wasn’t a lot of sauce stuffed into it. Looking back at my original Taco Bell Cinnabon Delights review, I noticed they were stuffed wall-to-wall with filling. What I saw in these new desserts seemed to be mostly dough, making them significantly less impressive than the original Taco Bell Cinnaballs.

While Taco Bell’s Dulce de Leche Cinnabon Delights are passable, I believe the previous original Cinnabon Delights are superior, much like Taco Bell’s old slogan “Yo quiero, Taco Bell” and the chihuahua that said it is better than any advertisement the chain has produced since.

Purchased Price: $2.59*
Size: 2 pack
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 160 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You might pay the advertised $1.99 price.

REVIEW: McDonald’s McDonaldland Meal feat. Mt. McDonaldland Shake

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“With hints of berry flavor and colorful, cloud-like pink Dairy Whipped Topping made with real cream, the Mt. McDonaldland Shake erupted from one of Grimace Island’s thick shake volcanoes.”

That’s how McDonald’s describes its new and limited time dessert on its website. But it’s hard to imagine thick shake volcanoes, just as it’s difficult to comprehend, despite McDonald’s constantly telling us, that Grimace is a taste bud. If it was a shake volcano, where’s the trail of devastation from the shake lava? Did Mayor McCheese call for evacuations when the eruptions happened? Were there earthquakes? And did those earthquakes cause Coke product tsunami waves? Did the Hamburglar take advantage of the chaos and loot the town? Is this a Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs situation here? There’s no description of any of those things, so it just sounds like Grimace Island has a working McDonald’s ice cream machine. Or there is a massive McDonaldland government cover-up.

The Mt. McDonaldland Shake is available as part of the new McDonaldland Meal, which also comes with a side of fries and your choice of 10-piece Chicken McNuggets or a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Or you can also get it à la carte. The meal also comes with a collectible souvenir tin that comes with stickers and postcards. I’m not going to review the nuggets or QPC. Instead, I’ll just focus on the new product of the meal.

The light blue shake and pink whipped topping made me think of cotton candy, My Little Pony, what Luke Skywalker might’ve had as a dessert while on Tatooine, the worst baby gender reveal idea, and the colors you’d see if you snort Pixy Stix candy. With its pink color, I thought the dairy whipped topping might have some fruitiness, but it’s all tint and no fruity hint.

As for what’s under the whipped topping, I assumed it would be blue raspberry-flavored due to its color. There are notes of that berry, but it tastes more blackberry-forward to me, and that is not a complaint because the shake was gosh darn tasty. However, after sucking up half of it, my taste buds started to become a tad overwhelmed with sweetness. So I can imagine folks saying that this shake is too saccharine. Not even mixing in the significantly less sugary dairy whipped topping helped dilute the sweetness.

With hints of berry flavor and colorful, cloud-like pink Dairy Whipped Topping made with real cream, the Mt. McDonaldland Shake is a delicious treat, and one that I would slurp up again if it ever came back, even if that means more natural disasters on Grimace Island.

Purchased Price: $15.39 (meal)
Size: Medium Shake
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (medium shake only) 650 calories, 18 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 105 grams of carbohydrates, 84 grams of sugar (including 68 grams of added sugar), and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Alani Nu Pumpkin Cream Energy Drink

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And so it begins: Pumpkin Season.

But not just any pumpkin season, an extra pumped-up, super caffeinated pumpkin season.

For the first time in its short and successful history, Alani Nu released a limited edition Pumpkin Cream sugar-free energy drink. Growing from a supplement store darling in 2018 to one of the most sought-after and competitive drinks in the entire market, Alani Nu is going where few companies are willing to go: cold, bubbly, sweet pumpkin.

Pumpkin-flavored drinks are nothing new. Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Latte is the origin of the last two decades’ worth of pumpkin spice obsession, but cold and carbonated is a different story than warm and milky. After the massive success of Alani’s Witch’s Brew, a slightly sour caramel apple-flavored energy drink, I’m not surprised the company is willing to take a big, spooky swing and attempt a new release that could be polarizing for consumers. And indeed, divisive this one will be.

Alani Nu Pumpkin Cream is good, but there’s no doubt that it’s kind of weird. The flavor has that immediate vegetal quality to it. It’s kind of round and slightly funky — unfamiliar, but not bad. This isn’t just merely bubbly spices; it’s pumpkin, akin to jarred or canned pureed pumpkin, and I respect that. Especially when combined with the very present cream quality, it tastes a lot like a scoop of pumpkin ice cream, which is pleasant, but no doubt, again, kind of weird.

The taste is quite sweet with just the slightest dash of cinnamon to support the profile without any other notable spices like nutmeg or ginger, which makes sense as it is pumpkin cream, and not pumpkin spice. Aside from ice cream, this drink also reminds me of another true-to-taste pumpkin product that arrives this time of the year: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Joe-Joe’s.

It is not a flavor for the faint of heart or part-time pumpkin lovers, and it is far from a crowd pleaser. However, it executes what it is aiming to execute, and that is a pretty autumnally admirable energy drink that’s fun for an occasional seasonal sip.

Purchased Price: $7.99 (I overpaid for an early release, single can)
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Energy Drink City Website
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can, 355mL) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of total sugars, 1 gram of sugar alcohol, and 0 grams of protein.

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