REVIEW: Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch Cereal

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Reese s Puffs Cluster Crunch Cereal Box

Hmm. Where do I start? I want to be excited about a new Reese’s Puffs cereal, especially one that switches up the shape and doesn’t just supersize it for reasons I don’t fully understand (Big Puffs) or have box art featuring a musician I’ve only vaguely heard of (no offense, Lil Yachty, that remote control cereal boat was pretty cool). I like when the spheres are seasonally swapped for bunny and bat shapes. Those both take a classically good cereal like Puffs and change it up in a fun way.

When I first saw the box of Reese’s Puffs Cluster Crunch, I couldn’t help but approach it with a bit of trepidation. The shapes looked familiar like the berry pieces in Trix or, more inauspiciously, the “clusters” in the largely disappointing Lucky Charms Marshmallow Clusters. I think I see where you’re going with this one, General Mills. We’re looking at Clusters Plan B, and it’s still not exactly working.

There’s definitely nothing wrong with this cereal in terms of taste. It’s actually quite good, assuming you’re a fan of Reese’s Puffs to begin with. The same strong Reese’s peanut butter smell is present when you open the bag, and as usual, there isn’t as much of a chocolate component as you might hope for, but I’d be lying if I said I’d ever really docked Puffs for lacking this. The peanut butter-colored and chocolate-colored pieces are interchangeably flavored as usual. The issue here is the wording.

Reese s Puffs Cluster Crunch Cereal Bowl

Picture this. You’re at the breakfast table with your cereal bowl in front of you, spoon in hand (or if you’re me, at your desk at four p.m. with no spoon and your hand just shoved inside the box. Kidding, I don’t have a desk). You’re about to go fishing in your bowl for a nice crunchy cluster, something that stands out from the other bites. I bet you’re envisioning something like a gob of flakes and oats and maybe pieces of nuts, all different textures and clumped together with the power of something sugary. Instead, you get…a few little rafts of aerated puffs that seem kind of like Rice Krispies but aren’t?

Reese s Puffs Cluster Crunch Cereal Puffs

I can’t even tell if these are more aerated than usual, and I cut several pieces in half to check. Even if they were, this would be more of an “extra puffed” and not exactly my definition of crunchy. In milk, they fare the same as the regular ones do, and I know this because I ate them both side by side on a fruitless quest to discover the difference.

Reese s Puffs Cluster Crunch Cereal Spoon

Reese s Puffs Cluster Crunch Cereal Split

This cereal is identical to Reese’s Puffs in every way, except instead of regular round pieces, there are “clusters” of smaller balls. But they’re stuck together from the get-go, and this doesn’t produce any significant difference in crunch. They do have more flavor powder on them, thanks to the little bumps and crevices, and eating them feels a little different because they aren’t a shape that my tongue is totally used to when it thinks it’s getting Reese’s Puffs.

I consider the original Puffs to be an 8 out of 10, and it seems unfair to rank this any lower because it’s exactly the same, but I think the name Cluster Crunch evokes an idea that the product doesn’t deliver on. If you like Reese’s Puffs, you should be happy with this cereal. If you’re hoping for a new and crunchy twist, this underwhelms.

Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 11.9 oz box
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup without milk) 160 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of total carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of total sugars including 12 grams of added sugars), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Flavor Pop-Tarts

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Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Box

Oreo seems to get all the hype, but I’m not sure any snack brand has had more flavor variations over the years than Pop-Tarts.

Sure, I could probably look that up and get you exact figures, but I’m too lazy. After all, I DID eat a Pop-Tart for breakfast today.

To be fair, Pop-Tarts may be a “lazy” breakfast, but they are the KINGS of lazy on-the-go breakfasts, and that’s exactly why I’ve always appreciated them.

Don’t feel like putting forth even the slightest bit of cooking effort? Grab an ol’ reliable Pop-Tart. You’ll still feel like you actually ate breakfast, especially now that they’ve teamed up with another breakfast staple, Eggo.

A handheld pastry that tastes like Eggo waffles? Sounds like a hall of fame “lazy” breakfast to me.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Frosting

Well, it sounded like one at least…

I wouldn’t necessarily say these BURST with flavor. They do a decent job toeing the line between the two familiar experiences each brand brings to the table, but I’m a little baffled.

I wanted to be waffled.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Split

You get some maple syrup, but it’s cut with that very distinct Pop-Tart crust taste and texture. Imagine pouring Pop-Tart crust batter into a waffle iron. It tastes wayyyyy more like Pop-Tart than waffle, to the point “Eggo” just feels there in name only. “Eggo” must only be repping the maple flavor because these only kinda taste like Hint o’ Waffles.

There’s a dab of “butteriness” in there too, which I liked. I thought maybe the yellow icing was butter flavored, but upon isolating it, it just had a generic sugary flavor. I guess that butter also came from the crust, and maybe that’s ultimately where the “waffle” plays in.

Pop-Tart pastry is just the dominant flavor, even more so than the maple filling and icing, which makes these kinda bland overall. They smell like maple, though, which is always a welcome aroma.

Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts Toasted

I’m not a huge toasted Pop-Tart guy, I usually just go pouch to mouth, but this seemed as good a flavor as any to eat warm. The toaster didn’t really improve the experience, but hey, at least I managed to burn my palm on the scolding hot icing!

So yeah, whether you lazily eat your Pop-Tarts right out of the pouch or toast them, these just come away tasting like mildly sweet Maple Pop-Tarts. They’re not terrible. They’re mid-tier, and I like them better than the Maple Bacon flavor from a few years ago. That being said, they’re still disappointing since they almost accomplished what they set out to do.

I bought 16 of these things, so they’ll stick around for a bit, but I don’t necessarily mind knowing I’ll have ’em there for some future lazy mornings. I may even get adventurous and use them as bread in an egg and sausage sandwich at some point… if I have the energy. Meh, maybe I won’t. Who knows? I’m going to take a nap.

Purchased Price: $4.14
Size: 16-pack box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 380 calories, 12 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 330 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 30 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Turkey Hill Mystery Flavor Frozen Dairy Dessert

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Turkey Hill Mystery Flavor Frozen Dairy Dessert Tub

Mystery flavor Doritos in plain silver bags marked only with test numbers. Mystery flavor Mtn Dew VooDEW that creeps around for Halloween. That one time Oreo made a mystery flavor that turned out to be Fruity Pebbles with a chocolate cookie. These are some of the many notable mysteries in junk food history, and to kick off the new year, we have a game-changing mystery on our hands — mystery ice cream.

Never, in all my years of scooping, have I heard of a mystery flavor ice cream. For 2022, Turkey Hill invites customers to grab this 48-ounce container of its finest frozen dairy dessert, scan the QR code (or visit www.turkeyhill.com/mysteryflavor), and try their hand at solving the creamy puzzle for a chance to win free Turkey Hill ice cream for life. If you want to go down this rabbit hole yourself, it’s time to turn away because detective Sean has arrived, and it’s spoiler season.

Technically this isn’t ice cream. Due to its lower milk fat content, it’s considered frozen dairy dessert, but I’ll refer to it as ice cream in this review because that’s how most people view it. Since it’s lower fat and far lighter than anything with any premium tag attached, the texture is a bit airy and fluffy. Although fluffed out, it has a decently lush mouthfeel, with a smooth creaminess that intensifies the more it tempers. Sometimes frozen dairy desserts have a wateriness and lack any depth of flavor, but that’s not the case here, and I’m pleasantly surprised.

So what IS the flavor?

Turkey Hill Mystery Flavor Frozen Dairy Dessert Top

It’s a bit of a letdown. It’s a white base with a blueberry swirl, and that’s it. When I say “white base,” I mean that it’s kind of hard to nail down because it’s not jumping out with anything notable. Again, it has a pretty decent mouthfeel that reminds me of something richer than it is, like cream cheese or even cheesecake, but it isn’t too tangy. It’s also not floral like a proper vanilla bean, so the base flavor lacks character beyond its surprising texture.

Turkey Hill Mystery Flavor Frozen Dairy Dessert Top 2

The swirl is just okay. Slightly tart with a fruit-meets-candy blueberry taste that reminds me a bit of Pop-Tarts without going fully processed. My issue with the swirl isn’t in the taste though, it’s in the quantity and texture. There isn’t nearly enough of it, both in terms of density and actual thickness, to bring any real textural character to the decent but un-exciting base. There are some denser pockets towards the middle of the container, but in those thicker slabs, a more noticeable iciness comes through, a common problem with fruity swirls that take away from the smoothness.

Turkey Hill Mystery Flavor Frozen Dairy Dessert Middle

So the answer to the mystery is — blueberry? Maybe blueberry cheesecake? Blueberries and cream? Having only one swirl is a massive missed opportunity from Turkey Hill to make something more complex and fun. Add in a graham cracker swirl and a slightly more complex base and this could be a fantastic low cal Blueberry Cheesecake. Amplify the vanilla and add in a regular crust or streusel swirl and it’s an excellent Blueberry Pie a La Mode. But as it stands? It’s a really fun idea that falls flat to deliver on the excitement it promised via the cool and mysterious magnifying glass on the carton.

Turkey Hill Mystery Flavor Frozen Dairy Dessert Scoop

Update 3/16/22: The mystery has been revealed. Turkey Hill announced that the mystery flavor is…Blueberry Pancake.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from Turkey Hill. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 48 ounces
Purchased at: Received from Turkey Hill
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup, 90g) 150 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of total sugars, and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Chipotle Cheddar Chalupa

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Taco Bell Chipotle Cheddar Chalupa Shell

Taco Bell has always been different in how it approaches new items. Sometimes it takes huge swings with things like the Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco. Other times, it finds a way to remix a few ingredients and package it as a new item. The Chipotle Cheddar Chalupa falls squarely into the latter.

It consists of a deep fried flatbread shell, seasoned beef, tomato, lettuce, creamy chipotle sauce, and shredded cheddar cheese. To be entirely honest, I was a little underwhelmed when I first ordered it. A change of cheese and substituting sour cream with chipotle sauce didn’t seem like it would make much of a difference. After the first bite, I was eating my words.

Taco Bell Chipotle Cheddar Chalupa Sauce

The creamy chipotle sauce is the same one used in the Spicy Potato Soft Taco. It’s creamy, smokey, and offers just a little bit of heat without being painfully spicy. It was a pleasant surprise when I took a bite of the chalupa and realized it was the same sauce. Using shredded cheddar cheese instead of the shredded three cheese blend added a little more sharpness, but it didn’t stand out like the chipotle sauce. The chalupa shell will always be one of the best food items Taco Bell has ever added to not only its lineup, but the fast food landscape.

Taco Bell Chipotle Cheddar Chalupa Filling

I honestly don’t know why I thought I would be underwhelmed with the item considering my deep love for the long discontinued Baja Beef Chalupa. The simple swap was absolutely delicious and made me want to get it again or, at the very least, remember the customization for next time. Although, when this item eventually is no longer offered, the cost to customize a chalupa to this recipe will run me a dollar more.

I would love to see Taco Bell bring back a few variations to standard menu items on a more permanent basis (like the Baja or Nacho Chalupas were). At the very least, it should be a 1 for 1 swap that doesn’t cost more to remove a sauce and add another.

The Chipotle Cheddar Chalupa isn’t going to change the world, but it does an excellent job of adding a new twist to a standard product and to shake me out of my Taco Bell rut. I tend to stick with the same three items when I go to Taco Bell, so it was a nice reminder to explore outside the norm. Even if it’s as simple as swapping sauces.

Purchased Price: $3.99
Size: N/A
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 420 calories, 28 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 610 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 12 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Black Forest Cake M&M’s

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Black Forest Cake M M s Bag

What are Black Forest Cake M&M’s?

Arriving just in time for Valentine’s Day, this seasonal flavor takes its inspiration from the Black Forest cake. Each M&M combines milk and dark chocolate with a twist of cherry flavor.

For those of you who haven’t binge-watched an embarrassing amount of baking competition shows, a Black Forest cake consists of layers of chocolate cake, whipped cream, and syrup- or kirsch-soaked cherries, topped with chocolate shavings.

How are they?

Black Forest Cake M M s Rows

The spirit of Valentine’s Day is strong with this product, from the festive packaging to the pink, red, and white candy shells that scream “Valentine’s Day” (or at least sing it in a Barry White-esque baritone).

Additionally, these M&M’s remind me of a Valentine’s staple: cherry cordial candies. The milk chocolate center of the M&M seems to hold most of the cherry flavor, which tastes a lot like a cherry cordial — minus the sticky filling. The cherry taste complements the chocolate well. It is noticeable, but not overwhelming, medicinal, or sour.

Black Forest Cake M M s Innards

Dark chocolate surrounds the M&M’s milk chocolate core, adding a subtle hint of bitterness to the bite. I don’t often enjoy M&M’s that combine two kinds of chocolate because one always overwhelms the other. This combination, though, creates a successful flavor contrast that reminds me of biting into a filled chocolate or a chocolate shaving on a cake.

Anything else you need to know?

I wondered why M&M’s chose to name these after Black Forest cake rather than cherry cordials, which seem more Valentines-y to me as someone who, granted, participates in Valentine’s Day solely by shopping for discounted candy the next day. A Google search tells me that Cherry Cordial M&M’s previously existed, although that variety used only milk chocolate.

Conclusion:

Black Forest Cake M M s Bowl

Black Forest Cake M&M’s combine milk and dark chocolate expertly and boast a sweet cherry flavor. The candies may seem simple compared to their elaborate namesake, but they are still worthy of a spot next to the cherry cordials in your Valentine’s Day chocolate box.

Purchased Price: $3.28
Size: 8 oz (226.8 g) bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (per 1 ounce/about 16 pieces) 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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