REVIEW: Pizza Hut Oven-Baked Pastas

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Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas All Four

As four distinct variants that nonetheless have many key characteristics in common, I like to think of Pizza Hut’s new line of Oven-Baked Pastas as quadruplets. Each flavor has a unique personality, but they share two crucial features, perfectly smooth penne pasta and a top layer of thick, baked-ziti-esque cheese. Two are adorned with Alfredo sauce, two don a sweet red sauce, and all four are delicious in their own ways. Serving size-wise, one order of any of these pastas would make a good meal for one person – maybe even with leftovers if all that cheese is too much for you! – but the portion is so filling that I can definitely see it as a shareable appetizer/side/snack too.

Cheesy Alfredo

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Cheesy Alfredo

I worried this might pale in comparison to the chickened version; it turns out I needn’t have. This pasta was swimming in a gooey, creamy, downright decadent copious sea of sauce so bright white it looked positively pristine. (Though I am slightly confused how such a wonderful garlicky flavor could come from something whose handy-dandy online ingredients list only notes garlic under “Contains less than 2% of the following.”) Our friends at Pizza Hut were not kidding when they dubbed this one “cheesy,” and I’d say swapping meat for all that extra dairy is a worthy tradeoff.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Cheesy Alfredo Closeup

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 880 calories, 48 grams of fat, 31 grams of saturated fat, 1,180 milligrams of sodium, 84 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 30 grams of protein.

Chicken Alfredo

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Chicken Alfredo

If anything, the poultry felt paltry compared to its queso’d cousin. I described the cheesy Alfredo sauce as “gooey,” but the same can’t be said here, with the sauce relegated from main attraction to mere sidekick. The ostensible star of the show, that chicken, packs a hefty herbal aftertaste that I couldn’t immediately put a finger on, but apparently is courtesy of dried parsley. However, its distribution in my batch was sort of spotty —- some bites came with a dime-sized dollop, some with more like a silver dollar, and most with no chicken at all.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Chicken Alfredo Closeup

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 930 calories, 49 grams of fat, 32 grams of saturated fat, 1,340 milligrams of sodium, 85 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.

Italian Meats

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Italian Meats

The main meat in mind is sausage, and Pizza Hut’s offering is a perfect fast food specimen; chunky, juicy, zesty, and abnormally (like, almost scarily) tender. Because this is Italian meats, not Italian meat, I should also mention the presence of pepperoni. But, hidden directly under the cheesy coating, it was pretty handily obscured both visually and taste-wise. I also need to take a moment to appreciate the sweet red sauce, so pleasantly mild and yet so simply tasty that it felt like a hug for my mouth. I usually find pasta with red sauce a little boring, but this was more than enough to hold my interest.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Italian Meats Closeup

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 860 calories, 37 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1,640 milligrams of sodium, 97 grams of carbohydrates, 17 grams of sugar, and 36 grams of protein.

Veggie

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Veggie

I liked this one more than I expected. I mean, not more than I liked any of the others, but still! The toppings were kind of random (sure, green bell pepper, black olives, and “diced Roma tomato” are pretty normal to find in a pasta separately, but all of them at once?), yet they mingled well. That gently sweet sauce and rich cheese were perked up by the refreshing pepper, which also provided a texturally delightful snap, while the tomato offered a surprisingly intense and unsurprisingly delicious burst of flavor, and the olives… well, I could have done without them, but their flavor was subtler and less briny than I typically fear, and I must give them credit for adding some nice umami undertones.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Veggie Closeup

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 640 calories, 16 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 1,170 milligrams of sodium, 99 grams of carbohydrates, 18 grams of sugar, and 17 grams of protein.

Pizza Hut Oven Baked Pastas Breadsticks

If you’re still not convinced to give one — or all! — of these a try, I should also mention that each comes with an order of breadsticks. Yes, that means that in the course of writing this review, I acquired twenty breadsticks, so if you need me, I’ll be busy trying not to devour them all in one sitting.

Purchased Price: $8.99 each

REVIEW: CinnaFuego Toast Crunch

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CinnaFuego Toast Crunch Pouch

This CinnaFuego Toast Crunch pouch of fiery cereal that can only be purchased online at Walmart.com starting on August 12, 2022 (while supplies last) makes me scratch my head.

(UPDATE: The announced date is August 12, but as I type this, it’s already available for purchase on the Walmart website.)

You may think it’s the cereal itself that’s making me feel this way, but it’s not. It’s the packaging, specifically that hole at the top. If it’s available online only, why is it there? If it’s not going to be in a store, it doesn’t need that hole to be put on a display hook.

While I don’t know why that hole is there, I do know that, despite being a Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, CinnaFuego Toast Crunch will not appeal to everyone.

It’s been eons since I’ve had Wrigley’s Big Red gum, but after opening this cereal’s pouch, its scent brought back thoughts of that classic chewing gum. It made my mouth water a bit, and I wish that water stayed in my mouth because this cereal is fuego.

CinnaFuego Toast Crunch Closeup 2

As I chewed on a piece, which looks exactly like regular Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I didn’t think it was spicy. However, after a few moments, the heat wave came. But it wasn’t too fuego. That thought changed after shoveling a spoonful with milk into my mouth. Again, it took a few moments, but the addition of more pieces stoked the fire. It’s a notch or two lower than Flamin’ Hot and maybe slightly higher than Hot Tamales candy. I can handle this spicy cereal in small doses, but I couldn’t eat a regular-sized serving as part of a complete breakfast.

CinnaFuego Toast Crunch Spoon

Now, if you’re thinking, “If you’re eating it with milk, it shouldn’t be so bad because the milk will temper the heat.” Well, I drink soy and pea milk, and they’re like paper to the flaming arrow that is this cereal. And I’m not sure dairy milk will make a difference because the cinnamon AND peppers will be washed into it.

The product’s press release says the combination of Cinnadust and spicy peppers will deliver an absolutely absurd experience. That tastes right to me, but it doesn’t offer an absolutely delicious experience. When I eat this, I don’t think of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at all. Instead, Big Red gum or Hot Tamales comes to mind, and on the cinnamon snack scale, the classic cereal is far ahead of the gum and candy. I’m more tickled by its uniqueness than its flavor. There’s also a bitterness that occasionally pops up in the aftertaste that I quickly forget about when the spiciness starts poking in my mouth.

CinnaFuego Toast Crunch is a fascinating product and it was neat to try. If you’re interested in finding out what a spicy breakfast cereal is like, you should purchase this. But, if this is hanging on a display hook at a brick-and-mortar store in the future, I wouldn’t try it again.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 5.9 oz pouch
Purchased at: Received from Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 ounce) 3 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 8 grams of sugar (8 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Coca-Cola Limited Edition Dreamworld

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Coca Cola Limited Edition Dreamworld Bottle

Coca-Cola thinks dreams taste like mango. And after pondering about it for longer than any sane person should, it makes sense that Coca-Cola’s Limited Edition Dreamworld is a tropical fruit-flavored cola.

For a lot of people, if you ask them what their dream vacation is, it would probably be a trip to a tropical destination where they can lounge on a beach under the sun, like Hawaii or the Caribbean, especially during the winter months. Price is Right contestants jumping up and down when a tropical island trip ends up being a prize can’t be wrong. And what fruit is considered “tropical”? Mangoes, my friend. So maybe by drinking Coca-Cola Dreamworld, you can imagine yourself sitting on a beach towel, getting your vitamin D via sunshine, and watching and listening to the waves gently crash onto the beach.

Too simplistic of an explanation? Okay. How about this one?

In this day and age of social media and the pressure to present ourselves as awesome and living the best life when in reality it is not awesome, the mango is the best representation of the dream world we wish to put up on social media, a bright, sweet fruit that looks good in photos.

I don’t know if either explanation is even close to being correct. But what I do know is that Coca-Cola Dreamworld is terrific, and it’s the best tasting of the Coca-Cola Creations flavors so far. Once I found out via my first sip that it was mango flavored, my eyes lit up like a Price is Right contestant who just found out they could win a new car because I don’t know if I’ve said this anywhere on this site, but I love mango.

Coca Cola Limited Edition Dreamworld Zero Sugar Bottles

My taste buds also thought they noticed some orange (another tropical fruit) and papaya (another tropical fruit), but it’s definitely mango flavored. Although, the level of fruitiness is noticeably lower than what I tasted with last year’s Pepsi Mango. There’s also a Zero Sugar version, which is also great (although not as good as Zero Sugar Starlight), but I prefer the full sugar one.

To me, dreams are flavorless abysses in your mind that contain fragments of one’s memories and experiences pieced together to create incoherent flipbooks of images that have no meaning. So I’m glad Coca-Cola took a brighter route and decided that dreams taste like mangoes because the fruit makes me happy, and so does Coca-Cola Dreamworld.

Purchased Price: $2.40
Size: 20 oz bottles
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Regular), 7 out of 10 (Zero Sugar)
Nutrition Facts: (1 bottle) Regular – 240 calories, 0 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of carbohydrates, 65 grams of sugar (including 65 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 57 milligrams of caffeine. Zero Sugar – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 60 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 57 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza

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Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Whole

“Over 100 crispy Old World Pepperonis.”

I muttered that to myself while wiping the grease off my fingers. Another 10 counted. Another tally mark. I certainly questioned my sanity a few times over the counting process. It looked to be over a hundred, so why not just make up some random number? Nay, dear readers. This site has the utmost integrity, and if Little Caesars claimed over 100 pepperonis, we’re going to fact-check it for you.

The Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza is the current specialty item from the pizza chain. Claiming to be covered in over 100 crispy old world pepperonis, this large pizza is a step up from the chain’s regular pepperoni pizza. Old world pepperoni is fairly different from the standard stuff in several ways. It’s cut thicker, which is one of the causes for its signature curl and cup shape after cooking. It’s also made with natural casings and a different fermentation process to give us a richer, spicier flavor. My introduction to them has only happened within the last few years, and I adore them.

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Slice

So it was a no-brainer that I would try Little Caesars’ take on my favorite little grease cups. At first look, the pizza didn’t quite get the “all the way to the edge” pepperoni coverage as advertised. In fact, it was a messy looking pizza. I tried a slice before the great count began (there were 11 of them) to make sure I tasted it as intended. The old world slices were perfect: a little spicy, rich, greasy, and crispy around the edges.

The higher quality pepperonis really elevated the entire experience. Little Caesars pizza tends to be a few levels above frozen pizza for me (sorry, devotees), but the higher-end topping made it feel more luxurious. I wouldn’t have guessed I was eating a Little Caesars pizza. The crust, sauce, and cheese don’t stand out as particularly good or bad. They’re merely a vehicle for the over 100 pepperonis.

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Mountain

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Bare

Now, the thing I’m sure some of you have been scanning for: The total I got was…(drum roll) 111! There is a margin of error of +/- 3 pepperonis thanks to my husband’s sneaky little fingers, but I’m confident in it being over the promised 100 slices.

Little Caesars Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni Pizza Total

While I enjoyed this offering from Little Caesars, I want to emphasize the old world style pepperoni is the predominant flavor and overshadows the rest of the pizza’s ingredients. The grease level is pretty high (I mean, 111 slices will do that), and it might be too much for some. I’m already planning to order it again (let’s see if I can get it on the Detroit-style crust), but my old world pepperoni quota will be fulfilled for a bit after that.

Purchased Price: $9.99
Size: Large
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/8 pizza) 378 calories, 19 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 44 milligrams of cholesterol, 863 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 18 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Brach’s Tailgate Candy Corn

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Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn

You know storm chasers, those people who deliberately seek out horrifying and dangerous phenomena for the thrill of it? That’s exactly the kind of relationship I have with disgusting novelty snacks, so when I heard about Brach’s Tailgate Candy Corn, I got as excited as my dad at an actual tailgate.

I happened to have relatives visiting from overseas while I was reviewing this candy, and because I’m a bad person, I convinced them that these would be a great taste of American culture. After stomaching a single corn, one cousin begged me to include the phrase “offense to the senses” in my review (thanks, mate!), and spoiler alert, things will only get more scathing.

Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn No Description

There’s such a wide range of experiences in this bag (specifically, that range goes from “probably won’t make you puke” to, well, the opposite) that I had to give every flavor its own rating. I also had to take some liberties figuring out which flavor was which — Brach’s, perhaps rightfully ashamed of what they’ve wrought, doesn’t indicate this anywhere on the bag.

Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn Vanilla Ice Cream

White top, yellowy bottom: vanilla ice cream. In addition to being the only flavor whose two-toned color scheme really makes sense, this is the least offensive by far. It’s overwhelming sweet with a weird caramel undertone. Maybe that’s supposed to represent the malty taste of a cone, but probably it’s just to justify calling this something other than “pure sugar.” Still, it’s impressively bearable. 5 out of 10.

Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn Fruit Punch

Reddish top, pale pink bottom: fruit punch. As overly sweet as the vanilla ice cream, this is probably the flavor that tastes the most like how it’s supposed to — and yet this time, the weird undertone is the taste of chemicals. It reminded me of Hawaiian Punch, if Hawaiian Punch was worse. 4 out of 10.

Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn Popcorn

White top, pale yellow bottom: popcorn. Or, to be more accurate, flavor-that-tastes-nothing-like-popcorn. I was (naively) expecting something rich like Jelly Belly’s exemplary Buttered Popcorn bean. Instead, I got something that tastes how nail polish smells. It’s reminiscent of burnt garbage, just slightly saccharine. 3 out of 10.

Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn Hamburger

Pinky-red bottom, yellowy top: is it hamburger? Is it hot dog? Is it fit for human consumption? The best way to describe this is to tell you that when trying my usual “take one bite for a first impression, then a second to understand the taste well enough to write about it” strategy, the prospect of having to choke down one more morsel made me genuinely distraught. More succinctly, this flavor is spicy, and that’s disturbing. I’m going to go ahead and associate that with hamburger, but — I hate to say it — more than anything, it tastes like vomit. 0 out of 10.

Brach s Tailgate Candy Corn Hot Dog

Pale pink top, yellowy bottom: hot dog, by process of elimination. And thank goodness for the process of elimination because there’s no way to tell what this is supposed to be just by eating it. It’s sort of smokey, but with an underlying — you guessed it! — sweetness that stresses me out. I’m sure there are situations where smokey and sweet flavors work well together, but this fluorescent party foul cannot be one of them. 1 out of 10.

I wanted to arrive at a total rating by taking the average of the scores for the individual flavors, but that would be a 2-rating, and that felt too high. This bag is worse than the sum of its parts; somehow, the fact that nearly half of the flavors are nearly edible just makes it even more demoralizing. The only thing it has in common with a real tailgate is the fact that both make me want to drink heavily.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 11 oz bag
Purchased at: Walgreens
Rating: 1 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (15 pieces) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 22 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

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