REVIEW: Van Leeuwen Spring 2023 Flavors at Walmart That Aren’t Hidden Valley Ranch

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Here are reviews of Van Leeuwen’s Spring 2023 Flavors at Walmart That Aren’t Hidden Valley Ranch in a non-alphabetical order.

Limoncello Cake

Lemon ice cream and brown sugar cake.

After opening this pint and sniffing, the first thing that popped into my mind was a lemon creme sandwich cookie. Every spoonful showcased the lemon ice cream base heavily. But maybe too much. The brown sugar cake pieces are visually noticeable in the container but not so much in terms of taste when eaten with the citrus-flavored base. I had to go into full Zen mindfulness eating mode to detect their brown sugar flavor.

In the description on the side of the container, there’s no mention of the third component in this — regular cake pieces. The darker chunks in the photo above are the brown sugar cake pieces, and the lighter ones that blend in with the pastel yellow ice cream are the other cake pieces. I’m not sure if they have a lemon flavor because every attempt to taste them on their own involves scooping up a little bit of the lemon ice cream, but I do know that they’re dry, and I kind of wish they weren’t there. So between the two types of cake, there’s nothing that cuts through the lemon, making this taste like a one-note Lemonpalooza.

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 270 calories, 16 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (including 19 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Sweet Maple Cornbread

Maple ice cream and honey cornbread pieces.

Cornbread has a unique texture and flavor. Unfortunately, I don’t notice either in this ice cream. But I do detect the maple. It’s hard to miss it. It smells like every “maple” or “pancake” product I’ve ever had, and the maple taste overwhelms every bite. So much so that whatever flavor the cake pieces have, it’s not noticeable.

If I gave someone a scoop of this and told them it was a maple syrup ice cream with pancake pieces, I’m pretty sure they would be convinced after one spoonful. Because, again, the cake pieces here don’t have that unique cornbread texture. Instead, they have the texture of regular cake that’s a bit dry from sitting in the freezer, which can easily be confused with pancakes that have been sitting in the freezer.

Now with all of that said, there is nothing wrong with this sweet maple cornbread ice cream tasting and feeling like maple syrup and pancake ice cream. I’d eat this again if offered.

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 18 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar (including 16 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

Carrot Cake

Cheesecake ice cream and carrot cake pieces.

Yes, this Carrot Cake flavor has carrots listed in the ingredients in the form of a powder. Do I taste carrots? I think I do. But what I absolutely know is that this is the best tasting flavor of the Spring 2023 Walmart lineup, and I had a hard time putting it down. It’s hide-in-the-back-of-the-freezer-on-the-lowest-shelves-so-no-one-else-sees-it-great.

The cheesecake ice cream base has a little tang, but not as much as an actual cheesecake, and it could be mistaken for Van Leeuwen’s sweet cream ice cream that’s in other flavors I’ve covered in this review. But that tang gets amped up a bit when eaten with the cake pieces for some reason.

Those carrot cake chunks are what elevate this pint. With other cake varieties in this lineup, I’ve mentioned that the pieces were dry and crumbly and didn’t add much flavor, but that’s not the case here. Their texture is what I wish the pieces in the other pints were like. They’re dense, a little moist, and a little chewy. It was as if they were made to survive being in ice cream. Their flavor was equally impressive, with a mild cinnamon flavor and brown sugar notes, and even pecans in the mix. But not only do they taste pleasant, there were a lot of them.

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 18 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar (including 18 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

Strawberry Shortcake

Vanilla ice cream, jam from Oregon-grown strawberries, and shortcake pieces.

I know I listed vanilla ice cream as a component, but to be honest, I’m not sure if the base is vanilla or strawberry. The pint says, “The goodness in this flavor includes cold-ground vanilla, jam from Oregon-grown strawberries, and pieces of shortcake.” The wording makes me assume it’s vanilla, but when I tried to taste just the base, it tasted like strawberries. So either the base is berry-flavored, or there’s a lot of strawberry jam jammed into every pint, so it’s nearly impossible to isolate the vanilla.

The swirl from Oregon-grown strawberries was delightful and sort of had a farmer’s market feel because I noticed strawberry seeds every so often. As for the cake pieces, much like the ones in the Carrot Cake variety, they are dense, moist, and chewy with a mild brown sugar flavor. Also, I could’ve sworn I tasted on occasion something that reminded me of whipped cream when eating spoonfuls with the shortcake pieces. I wonder if Van Leeuwen would go that far to create every facet of a strawberry shortcake. But then again, the company went that far to recreate a Hidden Valley Ranch ice cream, so maybe it’s not my imagination.

Overall, great flavor, but not as good as Carrot Cake.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 28 grams of sugar (including 23 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Blood Orange Chocolate Chip

Sweet cream ice cream, blood orange swirls, and dark chocolate chips.

This stood out to me because it’s something I’ve never tasted before. Well, actually, it’s two things I’ve tasted before separately but never combined. As you can probably guess, the base and dark chocolate chip combo tastes like chocolate chip ice cream, and the fruity swirls and sweet cream ice cream remind me of an orange creamsicle. But when combined, it’s something familiar, yet different.

The blood orange swirls are the stars of the pint. Have you ever had a blood orange? They’re sweeter and less acidic than standard oranges, and that’s how the swirls taste in this. But you must get a thick enough swirl to really get the blood orange flavor. If you don’t, the spoonful will taste like plain old chocolate chip. That’s better than the paper container this comes in, but it’s much better with the orange goo, so dig for them. The chocolate chips’ bitterness cuts through the sweet swirl and base, and their snap adds texture to the pint. But I must admit that sometimes I like that they’re there, but other times I don’t because I’m enjoying the blood orange swirl and sweet cream combo a bit too much.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 27 grams of sugar (including 22 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Honey Graham Cracker

Brown sugar ice cream, graham cracker pie crust pieces, and swirls of honey.

Some folks might find this flavor boring because it seems too simple, but it stood out to me. Its brown sugar aroma beckons me. Much like other flavors here, I thought the ice cream base might be the dominant flavor in this pint, but that’s not the case. The graham cracker pie crust pieces have a decent amount of cinnamon. So don’t think of them as tasting like s’mores graham crackers.

Finally, there are the honey swirls, which are the surprise of the pint. Sometimes I see them, but sometimes I don’t, and a lot of the times when I don’t, I still taste the honey. Brown sugar + graham crackers + cinnamon + honey = a great flavor combination.

The pie crust pieces had a nice texture. They’re not what I’d consider crunchy but are a bit denser and, thankfully, not as crumbly and dry as the cake pieces in the Limoncello Cake and Sweet Maple Cornbread flavors.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 280 calories, 16 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 85 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (including 19 grams of added sugar), and 5 grams of protein.

I wrote “pint” several times in this review, but these have 14 fl oz.

DISCLOSURE: I received complimentary product samples from Van Leeuwen. Doing so did not influence my review.

REVIEW: Apple Jacks Pop-Tarts

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We’ve seen Kellogg’s mash-up its breakfast brands before with Eggo and Froot Loops flavored Pop-Tarts, so it’s only natural it would try an Apple Jacks version. Apple Jacks is a curious choice to use as a flavor for something else though because what really is its flavor besides “Apple Jacks”? They famously don’t taste much like apples, and there isn’t a lot of cinnamon, either.

If you were to blindly taste Apple Jacks, you’d probably say they seem like a sugary cereal, and if you were to rip open the foil on any Pop-Tart, they’re first and foremost going to give off a general Pop-Tart aroma and flavor. This is really what they have in common: they both taste like breakfasts of your youth that are pretty unremarkable, but damn if you don’t love them anyway. Kellogg’s knows this, which is why Apple Jacks has the slogan, “We eat what we like!” So, do we like these Pop-Tarts?

I like Apple Jacks, and I like Pop-Tarts, so it should be a winning formula. All they need to do is taste like a breakfast I would have eaten in 3rd grade. After opening a pouch, my initial expectations were met. These have the classic bland pastry base that may or may not be discarded (depending on how hungry you are) in favor of the more coveted middle section with frosting and sugar goo. The frosting is less generously applied than the box indicates, and there are sugar sprinkles in colors corresponding to Apple Jacks. They have that classic Pop-Tart smell and are visually kind of cute, although maybe I only think that because the last Pop-Tarts I reviewed looked like they’d been dropped in dirt.

Breaking one open, I was struck by how orange the filling was. If Kellogg’s ever wants to make a carrot-flavored variety, it should keep this dye combo in mind. The untoasted tarts taste pretty much like you’d think, sweetly nondescript. I don’t pick up on any apple, which should make all those kids from the 90’s era Apple Jacks commercials proud. If I’m trying to hone in on a flavor, the main one I get is cinnamon, and this is where things go awry for me.

It’s not a gentle cinnamon; it’s a hot cinnamon candy taste. If you’ve had Red Hots or Atomic Fireballs, this is akin to that but not nearly as strong. I usually think toasting Pop-Tarts improves them by taking away some of the flouriness and boosting the flavors, but this isn’t a flavor I want amplified. When heated, the hot cinnamon is definitely more pronounced. This is a negative for me because I dislike the flavor, and it doesn’t remind me of the cereal. It isn’t so overpowering that I think it would bother everyone, but it’s enough of a turnoff that I wouldn’t consider buying them again. Perhaps it only makes sense that if Apple Jacks doesn’t taste like apples, Apple Jacks Pop-Tarts shouldn’t taste like Apple Jacks.

Purchased Price: $4.29
Size: 8 count box
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 pastries) 370 calories, 9 grams of total fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 70 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 28 grams of total sugars, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Blackout Cake Oreo Cookies

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Quick show of hands. Who knows what a blackout cake is?

Okay. Now how many NON-New Yorkers know what a blackout cake is? As a tried and true Midwesterner, I’d heard the name, but that was about it. Before researching, I assumed that it derived its moniker from being extremely chocolatey; and while it is, in fact, quite chocolatey indeed, the “Brooklyn” Blackout Cake, as it is also known, received its name during WW2 when, per a Politico article, “blackout drills were performed in homes around the borough to avoid silhouetting battleships leaving from the Brooklyn Navy Yard.” Ebinger’s, a beloved Brooklyn bakery chain, applied the name to a popular cake of its design, a multi-layer chocolate affair with pudding between the layers and chocolate cake crumbs on its exterior.

Although Ebinger’s closed shop decades ago, the cake is still made by cake makers worldwide. But if you’re not near a bakery — or you don’t want to buy a whole cake, or your preferred bakery doesn’t MAKE a blackout cake — you’re in luck. Because, like most other desserts and dessert-adjacent products, it’s an Oreo now.

But, okay — how does “pudding” translate into an Oreo creme filling? Well, quite honestly, it doesn’t. Pudding is much more of a texture thing, right? And Oreo creme is Oreo creme. Oh sure, sometimes it has little crunchy bits, but the creme can’t go more gelatinous or pudding-esque. So instead of anything evoking an essence of pudding, you’ve got two fairly indiscernible chocolate cremes — one a bit dark (the devil’s food component? They call it “dark chocolate” on the website) — and the other a bit light. They both taste like run-of-the-mill chocolate Oreo filling, and I really couldn’t even tell one was “dark” chocolate.

There’s nothing interesting or new about the crunchy outer exterior, either; it is, unapologetically, a standard chocolate Oreo cookie.

So then, you may be wondering, what’s the point of this Oreo? And to you, I say, I really don’t know. This is a chocolate Oreo with chocolate creme filling. Someone I was sharing them with suggested that they thought one of the cremes was similar to the brownie component of Oreo’s Brookie-O cookie, but that seemed like wishful thinking to me.

In the end, this is a fine product because it’s a chocolate creme Oreo. And those are tasty. But unless you’re a diehard Oreo completist, it’s not the end of the world if you miss out on this release. And if you’re in the market to waste some calories on Oreo cookies, there are plenty of better options. Or if you’re feeling REALLY wild, maybe seek out a blackout cake itself.

Purchased Price: $4.58
Size: 12.2 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cookies) – 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Yellowbird Nacho Fries

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We are living in a golden age of artisanal hot sauces. Thanks to YouTube shows like Hot Ones, these lesser known regional brands are seeing their products gain popularity on a national stage. Taco Bell is doing its part to help bring these sauces into the spotlight by working with brands to create unique condiments for its menu items. It did it before when it offered the Loaded Truff Nacho Fries featuring TRUFF Hot Sauce and are doing it again, but this time with Yellowbird Sauce.

Yellowbird was started in Austin, Texas in 2013 by a couple with a backyard garden and a dream. Today they have a thriving online commerce, and their partnership with Taco Bell stands to put them into the national spotlight. Yellowbird Nacho Fries use the fan favorite Nacho Fries as a base for the toppings that include steak, tomatoes, sour cream, nacho cheese, cheese, and the Yellowbird sauce. Described as a “spicy habanero ranch,” it takes Yellowbird’s Classic Habanero Hot Sauce and blends it with ranch to give it a sweeter, more creamy taste.

Habanero-based hot sauces are always a bit hit or miss for me. They either use too many other flavors to mute the spice or not enough that it’s just a tongue-burning experience. The Yellowbird sauce strikes a wonderful balance that gives you that heat from the peppers, but it never burns in an uncomfortable way. The taste upon the first bite was slightly sweet with a hint of the pepper and a slight heat kick came at the end.

I was able to isolate the sauce enough to get a good taste of it on its own, but overall it got lost by the overwhelming amount of sour cream on the fries. Nacho Fries are in their best form when used as a base for a cheese fry dish. They are hardy and hold up well to the onslaught of ingredients while still bringing their own cumin-forward flavor.

To me, the steak added more of a textural difference to the item than a flavor, but Taco Bell steak has never been amazing. The two cheeses (nacho and shredded cheddar) worked well with the headlining sauce by adding a salty element. Taco Bell tomatoes are essentially decoration by offering no real taste to the dish.

When the titular sauce wasn’t overshadowed, the Yellowbird Nacho Fries were great. I was disappointed to see that the version of the sauce being used in Taco Bell isn’t currently for sale as a standalone item, but I hope that will change. It offers a good habanero flavor without worrying about the overwhelming spice that can come with it. This item is a super limited time (April 27th being the reported last day), so get it while you can. I recommend asking them to go easy on the sour cream when ordering.

Purchased Price: $6.49
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 order) 490 calories, 30 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 1240 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.

REVIEW: McDonald’s Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry

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Nowadays, many of us learn about someone famous passing away when their name trends on social media. So when did the McDonald’s Strawberry Sundae trend? Because I didn’t know it was gone until I picked up the new McDonald’s Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry.

The lack of dark red gloops or glops in this limited time only dessert had me wondering why McDonald’s didn’t use the syrupy topping. And after a visit to its website, I learned the sundae no longer existed. I guess I should’ve looked at this McFlurry’s promo photos closer and read its description because what’s in this are vanilla soft serve with strawberry flavored clusters and shortbread cookies.

I assumed the syrupy topping would be included because it was around for so long. But instead, McDonald’s has said so long to it. Geez, I could’ve sworn I had the sundae about a year ago.

McDonald’s Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry is sort of like an Oreo McFlurry, but all the crunchy pieces are strawberry-flavored instead of chocolate. That actually sounds good, and this tastes good, but it’s a little disappointing because McDonald’s had a lovely red topping that would’ve been great with this. The artificial strawberry-tasting clusters were plentiful, good, and crispy, but not strawberry topping satisfying.

Although not as depressing as finding out one of your favorite McDonald’s treats no longer exists, the shortbread cookies were a bit of a letdown. Having cake pieces in pints of Ben & Jerry’s and other ice cream brands spoiled me, so expecting actual cake seems reasonable. But then again, I guess cake pieces wouldn’t survive whirls around the McFlurry mixing machine. The idea of using shortbread cookies is fine since they seem to be in strawberry shortcake recipes, but the small chunks in this blended treat get lost among the flavor AND crunch of the berry-flavored clusters when everything is eaten together. McDonald’s describes them as “buttery,” but my taste buds didn’t notice anything like that.

McDonald’s Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry is a fine dessert; I don’t regret eating it. But it’s not tasty enough to make me forget about the strawberry sundae. RIP.

It’s so hard to say goodbye to strawberry sundae.

(I imagine the internet is going to internet, and someone in the comments will tell me that the Strawberry Sundae still exists at their McDonald’s.)

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: Snack Size
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 370 calories, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 41 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein.

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