REVIEW: Tres Leches Toast Crunch Cereal

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During my decades of dessert dining, I’m unsure if I’ve had tres leches cake. But how could I not have had something that sounds delicious — a pound cake that’s soaked in a mixture of whole, evaporated, and condensed milks and then topped with whipped cream. As complex as that sounds, the folks at General Mills have developed a new Toast Crunch variety based on that dessert that I may or may not have had.

The company says that the cereal brings the cake’s flavor to the cereal bowl and is packed with cinnamon and extra indulgent Cinnamilk with the same crunchy texture as Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

If I’ve never had tres leches cake, I’m going to want some tres leches cake très vite because I’m going to assume the dessert is as delicious as this cereal. Yeah, I know. One is Spanish, and the other is French, but it looks cool in text.

First, I’d love to spend a lot of time with an open bag of this stuff in a phone booth, pod in a Japanese capsule hotel, or coffin because its delightful aroma reminds me of a cinnamon roll’s cream cheese frosting. That aromatic introduction leads to a unique and complex cereal flavor that gives me as much joy as eating the original Cinnamon Toast Crunch, dry or with milk. Actually, maybe even more.

There’s definitely a cake taste that’s somewhat similar to what I’ve experienced with the vast number of birthday cake products I’ve crammed into my mouth over the years, but not over-the-top sweet like most of those. Beyond that, there’s a butteriness that makes my tongue wonder if that’s from the cake flavoring or the cereal trying to present a milkiness. Whatever it is, it adds a bit of sweet complexity that goes exceptionally well with a not-quite-as-intense-as-Cinnamon-Toast-Crunch cinnamon flavor.

With its strong cake and cinnamon flavors, I really want to call this Cinnamon Cake Crunch, but Tres Leches Toast Crunch is more fun to say. Also, and this might be my imagination, there’s a little something something in the taste that could be interpreted as whipped topping.

Overall, Tres Leches Toast Crunch is très bien. Yeah, I know Spanish and French again. It’s so wonderful that, like my beloved Apple Pie Toast Crunch, I want this to exist forever year round.

FOREVER, General Mills! FOREVER!

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Size: 12 oz box
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 170 calories, 4 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (including 12 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Lay’s Wavy Cuban Sandwich Potato Chips

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Lay’s Wavy Cuban Sandwich chips went down so easily that I’m already thinking about Havana-nother bag.

Let’s just go ahead and move on from the pun, ok? We all see it. It’s not going anywhere. Havana, like the capital of Cuba. Real clever, bro. It is what it is, and I’m not gonna apologize. Anyway…

Cuban sandwiches! We like those, don’t we folks?

Lay’s has been putting out sandwich-based chips for years and even dropped some limited edition city-inspired flavors, so how did it take this long to get to the delicious Miami-born Cuban sandwich?

I can’t believe this wasn’t a “Do Us a Flavor” winner at some point, and we’re just now finally getting it. It has to be worth the wait, right?

Well, I’m Havana hard time trying to decide.

Ok, I apologize for that one.

Right outta the bag, the chips smelled familiar, giving off Cheddar and Sour Cream vibes, so I instantly expected the cheese to dominate. Once I chomped down, I realized it was a soft cheesiness that I just kinda accepted as Swiss. Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice mild flavor, but without previous knowledge, I’m not sure I would have pinpointed that cheese specifically. Swiss is obviously a milder cheese, but I wish it popped more.

I was a little surprised at just how mellow the overall flavor was until I got hints of mustard and pickle that ended up being my favorite pieces of the puzzle that is this chip.

Like the cheese, I wasn’t overwhelmed by the protein element. At first, it just tasted like some kind of vague spiced meat, but it slowly transformed into a pretty impressive hammy pork flavor. At that point, I realized how complex these chips actually were. They somehow managed to sneak in subtle flavors of both pork roast and ham without them canceling each other out.

You really get each individual Cuban sandwich ingredient to the point that I think these might be one of the most successful Lay’s flavor reproductions I can recall… yet I still wished there was MORE flavor.

They have a sensation that makes it seem like they’re ready to get spicy at any second, but the heat never comes. They’re mild but on the verge of bursting with flavors. It’s hard to explain. I left wishing each chip had about 20% more of a dusting. These were so close to perfection, but they needed to be ramped up to “Cubano Xtreme” or something. They’re layered and impressive but ultimately unfulfilling.

I give Lay’s props for deciding to make these Wavy though. I think it’s the perfect level of crunch for the flavor, and the grooves give a great little nod to the panini press grill marks of the real thing. Regular chips would have been too boring, and I think the flavor balance would’ve gotten thrown out of whack on a greasy kettle chip.

So, while these let me down ever so slightly, I guess I’m still satisfied. I wish they were caked in seasoning like Doritos. What can I say?

If you think I’m gonna close with that pun again, you have another thing comin’.

Purchased Price: $3.68
Size: 7.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (13 Chips) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 mg of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Dunkin’ Ham & Swiss Croissant Stuffer

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Ham and cheese products from Dunkin’ hold a special place in my heart. Way back in 2012, when the chain was still called Dunkin’ Donuts, and the concept of serving food that wasn’t donuts was still new and baffling, I fell in love with its Ham & Cheese Bakery Sandwich. Alas, it was ultimately discontinued. So I was thrilled when I caught wind of the new Ham & Swiss Croissant Stuffer. Could this be a reunion with my one that got away?

Right out of the bag, it certainly looked and smelled promising — plump, golden, football-shaped, and emitting a gorgeously toasty aroma. The singed cheese shreds on top were a nice touch, adding some pretty orange-y color, crispy texture, and an extra pop of concentrated Cheez-It-esque flavor.

Upon slightly closer examination, though, the ham bits poking out of the edge seemed unusual, and I wondered if I’d accidentally been given bacon since they were so burnt. Spoiler alert: it was indeed ham, and despite being rather frizzled, it tasted meaty and mildly-but-not-overly-salty, which was as nice as I’d hoped.

Since I always like to start my reviews by tasting each component of a product individually, I moved on to the croissant next. It was more or less what I expected, buttery and rich, although it was also surprisingly burnt (at least the outer layer was; the inner layer was softer and doughier, more reminiscent of a Pillsbury Crescent Roll).

Getting to the Swiss required some dismantling since none of it was peeking out with the ham. That made sense when I opened up my croissant to see the cheese melded in a thick, slick layer (unlike the shreds on top, this seemed to be a single slice) so tight against the bottom that it was difficult to distinguish it from the croissant. Fortunately, it wasn’t melty enough that it was difficult to peel off, and boy, was it tasty — mild, nutty, and buttery. It was my favorite thing I tasted.

While I was peering at the inside of the croissant, I also noticed that the ham appeared to be just one large, circular slice (I had been expecting a thinner piece like deli meat, but this was a lot more substantial) folded over itself for some extra oomph. The bulk of it was definitely not as burnt as the ends had been, though it was firm in a way that made it feel a bit overcooked.

Refolding my croissant as gracefully as I could (which, admittedly, was not very) and biting into all three layers at once yielded a masterclass in texture, with the brittle, flaky croissant giving way to the dense ham with a pleasing snap before being caressed by the gooey cheese. The flavor, though, was a bit muddled. I described the croissant and Swiss as “buttery,” and that was pretty much the only thing I tasted in this mixed mouthful. If I hadn’t just been staring straight at it, I’m not sure I would have realized from taste alone that the solid slice in the middle even was ham.

So, this might not have been the second coming of my lost love, but it was still tasty. I’d advise you to check it out, if only so that you’re full and fueled to join my letter-writing campaign to bring the Bakery Sandwiches back.

Purchased Price: $4.45
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 330 calories, 17 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 580 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

REVIEW: General Mills Kit Kat Cereal

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Does Kit Kat Cereal taste like a Kit Kat?

No, it doesn’t. Its flavor doesn’t even remotely remind me of the iconic candy bar — not the Hershey’s version, the Nestle version sold everywhere other than the US, or even Norway’s Kvikk Lunsj (Google it). Even its crunch differs significantly from the crispiness of the wafers coated in chocolate. “Gimme a break,” you might say, but I’ve been eating and reviewing cereal long enough to know that I shouldn’t set my expectations that high for a product that’s supposed to taste like something else. What I expected was something chocolatey with a decent crunch, and that’s what we’ve got here with this breakfast option.

The cereal’s shape is similar to the four-fingered candy bar, but its looks also bring a puffed-up, less ridged Golden Grahams to mind. One sniff from the opened bag brought memories of Cocoa Pebbles and Cocoa Puffs, and its sweet scent also summoned thoughts that this might be the most chocolatey cereal I’ve ever shoved into my mouth. It isn’t, but it’s enough to satisfy my sweet tooth.

A darker Cocoa Puffs is the best description I can give of its flavor, which doesn’t quite match the milk chocolatey goodness that coats an actual Kit Kat. Also, a part of me wonders, and I don’t want to start a conspiracy here, that this could be a tweak of Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch. Most of the flavor comes from a coating, but under that is the whole grain wheat and rice flour cereal that has some cocoa notes but leans more to the bitter side. The chocolate is most noticeable when eaten dry but weakens a bit in milk. While the leftover liquid looks like it might have some notable flavor, it doesn’t.

While the product has the common “cocoa processed with alkali,” there’s a less typical ingredient. Nope, it’s not the trisodium phosphate. The second to last ingredient is rosemary extract. Before you let out an “ew,” a quick search revealed that it’s probably used as a preservative and not for aromatherapy if you light pieces on fire.

Oh, speaking of things that involve fire, if you combine this with Golden Grahams and pick up a bag of Lucky Charms Just Magical Marshmallows, out now for a limited time, you’ve possibly got yourself a decent s’mores-flavored cereal mashup.

Overall, Kit Kat Cereal will not allow you to have a bowl of tiny candy bar-tasting cereal. But you will get a good, chocolatey breakfast offering that might be better than Cocoa Puffs but not as tasty or as chocolatey as Cocoa Pebbles.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 11.5 oz box
Purchased at: Received from General Mills
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup w/o milk) 170 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar (including 10 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Minecraft Suspicious Stew Pringles

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Mr. P has donned his gaming headset and teamed up with Minecraft for a limited edition flavor based on something you can cook up in the game, Suspicious Stew. Due to having a ten-year-old nephew, I’ve spent more hours playing Minecraft than I care to admit. For those not in the know, or those like me who probably should be in the know by now but can’t be asked to care, suspicious stew is something you concoct from mushrooms and flowers. In addition to restoring your hunger points, it also gives a temporary status effect. This could be something positive like night vision or something negative like…poison. Let’s find out if these Pringles make me jump higher or cause temporary blindness.

My initial impression was that these looked and smelled fairly innocuous. Most of the crisps had only a slight smattering of seasoning on one edge, and the scent was familiar, although I couldn’t place it. After tasting the first few, I wondered how much effort was put into constructing a flavor here. I decided to take a different approach and act like a kid no one wants to sit by in the cafeteria; I consciously left a chip on my tongue to gather max flavor on my taste buds and then went ahead and straight up licked the seasoning off another to get a better idea what I was dealing with.

I was genuinely surprised by the difference, there IS flavor here, and it’s very interesting! It’s zesty, almost spicy even, but not the kind that packs any real heat. I abandoned my gross tactics and ate a few more normally. Maybe the first chips in my tube were just under seasoned because as I kept eating them, I no longer had any difficulty picking up on the flavor – they definitely tasted like broth. They’re salty and deeply savory. The more I ate, the more they reminded me of bouillon or a packet of instant ramen seasoning, which I mean as a compliment.

They also have the curious effect of leaving my lips feeling slightly tingly. There’s no way they put Szechuan peppercorns or something in here, is there? It’s not exactly a numbing sensation, but there’s a certain je ne sais quoi, and I’m into it. I don’t know why it surprises me that a snack labeled “stew” actually tastes like stew. The “suspicious” part threw me off, and I expected them to be more of a muddy mystery flavor. Kudos to Pringles for having some fun while also really nailing the profile of a stew.

I’ll gladly reach for a can of these and be happy Kellogg’s decided to make them taste good and not like spider eyes the next time aunt duty calls and I’m busy asking naive questions like, “How did all these skeletons get in my house?” and “If I’m starving, is it bad to eat this rotten flesh?”

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 5.5 oz can
Purchased at: Jewel-Osco
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (14 crisps) 150 calories, 9 grams of total fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of total sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

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