REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte

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Starbucks Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte Cup

As we all know, only three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and pumpkin spice season. I wasn’t feeling particularly autumnal as I exited my local Starbucks into the 90-degree heat, but at least with its orangey-brown hue and dense pumpkin spice topping the color of fallen leaves, my Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte looked the part. This is a new offering for Starbucks’ fall menu, but I don’t foresee it becoming a mainstay…

Maybe this is supposed to be obvious from the drink’s name, but I certainly didn’t realize before looking it up, so let me warn you that the base of this beverage is just Starbucks’ regular chai tea latte. The unique “pumpkin cream” factor specifically refers to the cold foam on top; the drink itself doesn’t have anything in it that’s different than the usual. That felt a little unsatisfying to me at first, but hey, pumpkin spice mix is generally a combination of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves, and with the exception of nutmeg, all of these ingredients are already present in Starbuck’s chai tea concentrate. (Others include water, black tea, cardamom, black pepper, star anise, sugar, honey, vanilla, and citric acid, if you were wondering). So, it might not be an immediate member of the pumpkin spice nuclear family, but at the very least, Starbucks’ chai tea latte is probably a not-too-distant cousin.

Starbucks Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte pumpkin topping

In any case, the pumpkin cream cold foam and its smattering of seasoning on top was as tasty as I’ve come to expect from Starbucks. It was sweet, rich, and creamy, with an appealing melt-in-your-mouth fluffiness, and the pumpkin spice topping added some nice zest (though mine had a bit too much for my liking, with one particularly saturated mouthful calling to mind that old viral challenge where people would eat a straight spoonful of cinnamon with disastrous results).

The foam topping was substantial enough that it took a few sips for me to even get to the chai, but when I did… well, do you know that feeling when you’re sipping a drink that’s so cold that you can’t actually tell what it tastes like beneath the sensation of coolness? That was the case here; of course, I knew from the velvety texture that I was drinking something meant to be indulgent, but the only immediate way I could describe the taste would just be “cold.” That blandness didn’t ever change, leading to a general feeling that I was just drinking some nicely chilled, very mildly sweet, and quite over-expensive milk. There were occasional flashes of the complex spiciness of chai, but they were more of an aftertaste than the main event they should have been, and ultimately, I would say this drink’s creamy texture was more noticeable than its taste.

So sure, the pumpkin cream cold foam is good, but it’s not a big enough part of this drink’s experience for me to really recommend; once it’s gone, the Iced Pumpkin Cream Chai Tea Latte effectively just becomes a plain chai tea latte, so if that doesn’t entice you, you’re better off getting your fall fix elsewhere.

Purchased Price: $7.35
Size: Grande (medium)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 460 calories, 17 grams of fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 68 grams of total carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 66 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Little Debbie Turtle Brownies, Apple Fruit Pies, and Chocolate Chip Creme Pies Ice Creams

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Conceptually, the idea of Little Debbie Ice Cream is pretty wonderful. You take everyone’s favorite low-rent snack cake, deconstruct it into nuggets or swirls, and commingle it with a complimentary ice cream flavor from Hudsonville Ice Cream. Unfortunately, the execution just isn’t always there. The “icing” from the Zebra Cake variety, for example— which I think is the same stuff from the belly of the Strawberry Shortcake Roll— assumes a strange and unpleasant consistency when married with the ice cream; the rainbow sprinkles from the Cosmic Brownies become insufferably hard, a veritable cracked molar waiting to happen.

The fact of the matter is, as much as I want to love these things — especially at a $2.74 Walmart price-point — the only one I’ve ever felt compelled to buy more than once is Star Crunch. For whatever reason, I find that one to be heavenly, so good, in fact, that I have to force myself to refrain from consuming an entire pint in one sitting.

Will any of the three new flavors buck the trend of general disappointment?

Turtle Brownies

Hudsonville Ice Cream’s website describes it as follows: “Brownie batter flavored ice cream with brownie dough and crushed peanuts throughout, finished with a caramel swirl.” Look, I’m not gonna lie: I’m not entirely sure how this ice cream was “brownie batter flavored” as opposed to just, you know, chocolate. There was a very small amount of tasty brownie dough (it tastes like they use actual Little Debbie brownie, in fact) interspersed throughout, and… maybe a few peanuts? I couldn’t find many at all. Ditto for the “caramel swirl.” This could have used more of both. And because it needed a little more everything, this one came up a bit short.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 230 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 20 grams of sugar (17 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Apple Fruit Pies

Here’s the thing — I don’t even know if I’ve ever had a Little Debbie apple fruit pie. (Or any of her fruit pies, for that matter.) I was always a wax-papered Hostess hand-pie guy. So I didn’t really know what to expect here. Hudsonville says this one is “Cinnamon vanilla ice cream with an apple pie filling swirl and pie crumbs throughout.”

My first few bites garnered nothing but ice cream, which, let me say this — the ice cream in these has always impressed me, particularly at this price. It’s creamy and thick and is pretty damn good, frankly. This was no different. But it took a bit for me to find any apple pie filling swirl or the pie crumbs. But when I did, I was pleased. The apple swirl was requisitely apple pie filling-like, both in taste and texture, and the pie crumbs were thick, with a bit of a crunch and a subtle graham flavor. The only thing keeping this from being elevated into the stratosphere of “I’m clearing space in the freezer for six more of these” was the sorrowful lack of mix-in. Even still, it was a winner.

Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 220 calories, 10 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar (17 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

Chocolate Chip Creme Pie

Like the Apple Fruit Pie, I’ve never had a Chocolate Chip Creme Pie from The Debster. The fact of the matter is, if I’m gonna consume a circular El Deb pie with a “creme” component, it’s going to be of the Oatmeal Creme variety, OR its chocolate sister, the Fudge Round. I may need to branch out after having this revelatory ice cream, however. Described as “Vanilla creme flavored ice cream filled with chocolate chip cookie pieces,” it was my favorite of the three. The “chocolate chip cookie pieces” were plentiful. There were a LOT of chocolate chips throughout, a few hundred, at least. Really, this just ended up tasting like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with a bonus creme component, which was very enjoyable.

Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2/3 cup) 240 calories, 11 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar (20 grams of added sugar), and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Honey Mustard BK Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich

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I paid $11.49 for this Burger King Honey Mustard BK Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich.

Yes, just the sandwich.

Granted, I purchased it in a somewhat remote town 40 miles away from another Burger King location and any Walmart. Was it worth $11.49? Well, paying double digits for a fast food sandwich that’s three to four dollars cheaper at most other locations will leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth. But I would buy it again if I could purchase it in a range closer to its advertised price because I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The limited time offering features a crispy white meat breast fillet topped with honey mustard, Swiss cheese, bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes on a toasted potato bun.

Much like the crispy chicken fillet in the BK Royal Crispy Wrap, the crispiness was mainly on the breading’s edges. And with the wrap, I was okay with the fillet’s lack of thickness since it was in a thin tortilla blanket. However, in the sandwich, it’s much more noticeable since it sits between several layers of topping, condiments, and the fluffy bun. Its thickness makes it look like it should be in a value chicken sandwich. That said, the poultry was tender and had some flavor from the breading that was noticeable with all the other ingredients.

But what made this tasty was the combination of the honey mustard’s sweetness and bacon’s smoky and porky flavors, giving the menu item a nice sweet and savory punch. Thankfully, there were generous portions of both. There were several half-slices of bacon, and honey mustard was slathered on the top and bottom buns.

Speaking of the potato bun, much like the condiment, it also provides some sweetness, and despite all the sauce and liquid from the tomatoes, it didn’t fall apart while I ate it. I’m not sure the Swiss cheese did anything to help with flavor, but it was the glue that prevented the bacon from falling out. As for the vegetables, the lettuce provided a little crunch, and the tomato gave a pleasant acidic kick.

Burger King’s Honey Mustard BK Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich is a tasty addition to the chain’s premium chicken sandwich line. While it may not be worth it if you pay double digit dollars, it is if you can get it at a significantly lower selling price.

Purchased Price: $11.49*
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 570 calories, 27 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1330 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 31 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Reese’s Cookie Dough Poppins

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Reese’s Cookie Dough Poppins Pouch with the Pillsbury Doughboy on it. Oddly other than the logo on the Doughboy's hat, there isn't any other Pillsbury logo on the pouch.

What is it?

Despite the cutesy “Poppins” moniker, Reese’s Cookie Dough Poppins are just… little balls of ready-to-eat peanut butter cookie dough, no more, no less. Is it just me or has it only been within the past few years that companies began selling “safe to eat raw” cookie dough nuggets? Why did it take them so long to start doing this?

How is it?

In the case of this one, they probably should have kept fine-tuning the recipe before release. While there was nothing inherently bad or offensive about this particular Poppins, there wasn’t really much to love, either. The texture is a familiar one in line with any kind of unbaked cookie dough — though I was expecting a bit more grittiness — but the taste is lackluster.

Brown balls of edible cookie dough.

Look, I don’t know how you describe the taste of peanut butter as anything other than “like peanut butter,” but this was like half the taste of peanut butter. Maybe peanut, no butter. That’s not quite it, but I don’t know how to explain it. The PB flavor was there initially, but it just trailed off at the end.

Anything else you need to know?

You can’t bake these. Also, while there are a few safe-to-eat raw cookie dough products on the market that you can bake, there are many others that aren’t meant to be eaten raw. There’s a chance you could get some Salmonella from the eggs or flour or, perhaps more seriously, E. coli from the latter. Thankfully, the only risk with this edible Reese’s dough is the disappointment of spending over $7 on something you shouldn’t spend more than a buck on.

Conclusion:

Even though these aren’t the worst things I’ve ever eaten, I’d never buy them again, and never in good conscience could I recommend that anyone spend $7 on them. But if I was at a party, and they had a tray of Poppins (not sure what strange party this is, but just pretend), I might eat, like, a couple. But only if it was the only dessert. You know, at the world’s weirdest party.

Purchased Price: $7.49
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (5 pieces) 120 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 9 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Queso Fries

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Every 3-4 months, I try to dig through our freezer to ensure nothing gets lost to the dread “back of the freezer.” These ventures sometimes yield gems of forgotten food, but more often than not, it’s random stuff past me thought future me would want. Wendy’s newest offering, Queso Fries, feels like someone in its research & development team found a container labeled “QUESO-2017” in the back of the freezer and decided to bring it back to restaurants.

In 2017, Wendy’s released Bacon Queso Fries as a companion side to its Bacon Queso Burger. Six years later, we now have Queso Fries as a companion to the chain’s Loaded Nacho Cheeseburger. The fast food side is a simple item with three ingredients: fries, shredded cheddar cheese, and poblano queso.

As a fan of the Baconator Fries, I had extremely high hopes. Unfortunately, they started out “pretty good,” but by the end of eating them, they were a solid “eh.” The first bite was a perfect little bit of everything: crispy fries, gooey queso, and slightly melted shredded cheese. Thanks to the mild but flavorful poblano peppers, the queso had a balanced spiciness.

The topping is a blend of various cheeses (American, cheddar, Monterey jack) that offer that savory cheese flavor without being too strong. The shredded cheddar was virtually lost to the other flavors and textures. Wendy’s fries offer a good starch base, but I would have liked to have had something else to give more texture (maybe the crunchy strips on Wendy’s Loaded Nacho Cheeseburger?). But I enjoyed my initial few bites of the fries.

However, time doesn’t stand still for any food item, and within five minutes, the queso had cooled into a thick, paste-like texture. Normally, I don’t have many issues with food texture, but something about the globbiness of the cheesy topping made me extremely uninterested in finishing the item. It had such a good flavor that this metamorphosis into cold goo was a bummer. Thankfully, my husband had no issue with the oobleck queso, so he finished the fries.

Wendy’s isn’t afraid to bring flavorful items to its menu, and I appreciate that. The Queso Fries are flavorful without being overly spicy. While they were initially quite good, they cooled down into a textural nightmare item I couldn’t finish. If you try them, just make sure to have someone around who will eat the rest when the cheese sauce turns to gak.

Purchased Price: $3.49
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 390 calories, 20 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 940 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 1 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

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