REVIEW: Little Caesars Stuffed Crazy Crust Pizza

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Remember when Little Caesars pizza was available in Kmart stores? You could celebrate a Kmart Red Light Special with a hot and ready pizza for five bucks. Then Kmart went bankrupt and was purchased by Sears, which also went bankrupt. But those events weren’t enough to kill Little Caesars, which still stands tall. Pizza! Pizza! Its latest product is the Stuffed Crazy Crust Pizza.

The round offering features a stuffed crust brushed with the chain’s signature Crazy Crust, a buttery-flavored garlic spread sprinkled with Parmesan. Pepperoni and cheese versions are being advertised, but if you create your own pizza, it’s available as a crust option. I decided to go with the pepperoni. Also, this review will focus only on the Stuffed Crazy Crust since there’s nothing new about the pepperoni and cheese.

Before trying this, the only question I had was, “If an end crust hater stole this pizza from me, ate only the inner parts of the pizza while I chased him around in an abandoned Kmart with Yakety Sax playing on the PA system, and then gave back the box with only the stuffed crust, is what’s left tasty enough that I would eat it instead of discarding it, feeding it to birds, or pressing charges against the end crust hater?”

Well, if that wacky hypothetical series of events ever happened, I’d be perfectly fine with eating just the Stuffed Crazy Crust because I was pleasantly surprised by how good it is.

For this review, I purposely chopped the end crust off two slices and ate them. While I wish the garlic spread was strong enough to make me self-conscious during a conversation, it’s relatively noticeable. Also, the garlic does enhance the rest of the pizza if you take a bite of the crust and follow it up with a bite from the other end. But the Parmesan is quite mild. Although, as you can see in the photos throughout this review, it wasn’t sprinkled liberally on my order. The mozzarella inside provides some salty, cheesy goodness, but its flavor is milder than the Parmesan. As for its texture, there’s a slight crispiness in some areas, but for the most part, it’s similar to regular stuffed crust.

Overall, end crust haters are gonna end crust hate, but I think what Little Caesars’ Stuffed Crazy Crust Pizza offers might be flavorful enough to make some end crust haters think twice before tossing it back into the box.

Purchased Price: $11.99*
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/8 pizza) 393 calories, 21 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 49 milligrams of cholesterol, 990 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 19 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Honey Bunches of Oats Frosted Bunches Cereal

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Post doesn’t release limited-edition Honey Bunches of Oats flavors very often, so when it does, pay attention!

Except this new Frosted Bunches variety, sadly, isn’t worth paying much attention to. Really, the most interesting part of the whole cereal is the wintry box with a yeti theme. (Why are yetis having a moment now?)

I happened to have the bottom half of a box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds, so I was able to make a few comparisons between the new one and the classic.

With “Frosted Bunches” as the name of this new cereal, I assumed the oat clusters would be different. And yet, I* can’t really taste a difference between the bunches. If they are different, I don’t know what it is.

(*See what I did there? “yet, I”? “yeti”?)

The real difference is actually in the flakes. All of them in the Frosted Bunches variety are lighter in color and sweeter. This cereal would be better called Honey Bunches of Oats Frosted Flakes instead of Frosted Bunches. So, basically, this is a sweeter version of regular Honey Bunches of Oats, and the nutrition facts bear that out.

And despite an extra dose of “Bunches” in this cereal’s name, it seems to have fewer, not more, bunches in the cereal itself.

Look, Honey Bunches of Oats has long been one of my favorite cereals, so I will gladly finish this box. But it is not significantly different from the regular varieties. I only notice the differences because I’m looking for them. The ingredient lists have mostly the same ingredients, just in a different order.

The differences are not significant enough for me to make it worth the extra sugar in this Frosted Bunches edition, mainly because the regular version has more textural and flavor contrasts.

This cereal might be boring, but I hope to see more exciting limited edition offerings from Honey Bunches of Oats in the future. (How have we not yet seen a pumpkin spice variety?!)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11 oz. box
Purchased at: Smith’s (Kroger)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup/40 grams) 160 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 11 grams of sugar including 11 grams of added sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Shroom n’ Swiss Melt

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From now on, every mushroom and Swiss burger should be called “Shroom n’ Swiss” because it’s so satisfying to say. Go ahead and repeat after me. Shroom n’ Swiss. Don’t forget to shape your lips like you’re going to kiss someone when saying “oo” in shroom and “sw” in Swiss. See. Fun.

Burger King’s latest addition to the limited time only BK Melts line is the fun-to-pronounce Shroom n’ Swiss Melt. (Don’t forget to shape your lips.) It features two flame-grilled beef patties, two Swiss cheese slices, roasted mushrooms, and Royal Sauce between two toasted bread rounds. This was my first time dining on a BK Melt, so I was a little disappointed to learn it uses Whopper Jr. patties. But there are two of them, so it’s still quite meaty.

Yes, it looks like a hot mess. But it’s a tasty hot mess. Although, it’s not that messy because none of those usually slippery mushrooms fell out of my burger. I guess I should thank the Swiss cheese. It may have holes, but it won’t let anything get past them when melted. However, when it comes to flavor, the Swiss is a miss. But thank goodness for BK’s Royal Sauce, which I’ve praised in the past and does a lot of the heavy lifting in this burger to make it taste good. Its cheesy and savory taste makes up for what the white cheese lacks, and could be confused for the cheese.

As for the roasted shrooms, their savory, earthy flavor comes through with every bite, and they provide that familiar chew they’re known for. Finally, the toasted bread rounds held everything together without falling apart, but they added nothing flavor-wise.

Burger King’s Shroom n’ Swiss Melt (Don’t forget to shape your lips.) is an enjoyable continuation of the BK Melts line, but it doesn’t reinvent the mushroom and Swiss burger. It looks a little different, thanks to the flat toast pieces, but the flavors are mostly the same as those that have come before it.

Purchased Price: $11.99 (meal)
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 860 calories, 57 grams of fat, 25 grams of saturated fat, 0.3 grams of trans fat, 170 milligrams of cholesterol, 1060 milligrams of sodium, 38.3 grams of carbohydrates, 4.2 grams of fiber, 8.1 grams of sugar, and 48 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Holiday Cold Foams (Peppermint Chocolate, Chestnut Praline, Sugar Cookie, and Caramel Brulee)

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The holidays are here, and it’s time to zhuzh up your Starbucks drink with a new holiday cold foam! As many Starbucks enthusiasts know, Starbs (does everyone else call it that? Just me?) likes to really expand its cold brew/cold foam line with new offerings, and these new options align with the four popular holiday beverage flavors. You’ll find Peppermint Chocolate, Chestnut Praline, Sugar Cookie, and Caramel Brulee.

When trying each of these, I chose to add them to a standard cold brew with no other flavors. You could add them to any other drink of your choosing, but for consistency in my review, cold brew it was.

I’ll run down my thoughts on each, and as you can see from my ratings below, I had quite a range of feelings. Note that I first tried a taste of each cold foam on its own to get the full flavor before taking a sip of the drink.

Peppermint Chocolate

If you gave me a spoonful of this stuff, I’d swear it was a chocolate mousse. On its own, this cold foam definitely gives a Peppermint Mocha vibe, and I felt it was more chocolate than peppermint. It distributed nicely into the cold brew as it settled, but it didn’t quite enhance the drink as much as I would have liked. But it is a nice alternative to a Peppermint Mocha if that’s too strong or chocolatey for you.

Chestnut Praline

Womp, womp. My least favorite of the four. This had barely any Chestnut Praline flavoring and tasted too much like a basic vanilla cold foam. I *did* pick up a tiny bit of nuttiness as I went along, but nowhere near as much as I would have liked to consider this a holiday delight.

Sugar Cookie

An iced Sugar Cookie Latte is one of my go-to drinks, so I was super eager for this one, and it didn’t disappoint. When I tried the foam alone, I got a nice, strong flavor from the Sugar Cookie syrup. Just like the Peppermint Chocolate, this one didn’t affect the flavor of the cold brew too much – it was still pretty strong. I would definitely try this one again, and will likely add the Sugar Cookie syrup to the cold brew for even more of the flavor.

Caramel Brulee

HOLY COW! This one was a surprise home run. The irony is I am least likely to order a Caramel Brulee drink out of any of these holiday flavors, yet this was my favorite. It had an amazing caramel taste that really made its way into the cold brew and lasted through my entire grande-sized beverage. I am 100% getting this one again and happily recommend it to others!

One other thing to note: If you’re ordering through the Starbucks app, a friendly reminder that these cold foams need to be added to your drink and are not part of a featured drink on the menu. You’ll find it if you choose “Customize” and then scroll down to the “Toppings” section.

Happy holiday sipping!

Purchased Price: Adding a cold foam to your beverage will cost you an additional $1.25 on top of your existing drink price.
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Peppermint Chocolate), 4 out of 10 (Chestnut Praline), 7 out of 10 (Sugar Cookie), 9 out of 10 (Caramel Brulee)
Nutrition Facts: Not available.

REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn

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Spicy cinnamon is a flavor profile that’s never really taken off.

Unless we’re talking pre-Great Depression era JawBreakers, Hot Tamales, Big Red gum, or a shot of the worst whiskey on the shelf, I can’t even think of anything else with that kinda burn that’s made it to the mass market.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. Back in high school, I developed a little bit of an addiction to cinnamon-flavored toothpicks. I used to chew on those Fire-pix so much that the corner of my lips started to look like bootleg Joker makeup.

The reason I bring those toothpicks up is because I needed one after eating a few handfuls of new Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn, a popcorn that almost turned me into a bootleg Joker because they left me wanting to watch the world burn!

Ok, that’s extreme, but this popcorn is Flamin’ Hot Garbage.

I’ll preface the review by saying I’m not the biggest fan of the “Flamin’ Hot” line from Frito Lay. I think the heat tends to alter the iconic flavors. With that said, I do like a little heat, I love cinnamon, and I dig Cheetos Sweetos. How could these possibly be a miss?

Before even getting into the flavor, this is just trash-tier popcorn. It tastes stale and has more rogue kernels than a treasonous misspelled army.

The “flavor” is the ultimate killer though.

If I reviewed these on the instant flavor burst of the very first bite… this would still be an extremely negative review.

These literally just taste like “hot.” That’s the flavor, “hot.” When you put a piece in your mouth, it’s like an air of cinnamon for half a second, and then it tastes like nothing but “hot.”

I expected these to taste like spicy Cheetos Sweetos with the sweetness still coming through. For something labeled “cinnamon sugar,” there is a blip of sweetness. Half a blip. A bl–. They barely taste like cinnamon, let alone sugar. Why couldn’t these be both sweet and hot? Have taste buds not evolved to experience both of those sensations at once?

It’s a shame because the level of heat is kinda perfect. I think it’s slightly less than the usual Flamin’ Hot stuff. I would have no problem eating a decent portion of these if they actually tasted good and weren’t popcorn rejected from the three-flavor Christmas tins. I enjoyed the after-burn feeling in my mouth more than the popcorn itself.

The pieces being bright red like regular Cheetos made me mad. The bewildering quote on the bag, “Deck the sweets with pops of heat,” made me madder. I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word “hate” in a review, but I think I hate these. I’m flamin’ hot!

Ok, ok, I’ll calm down. “Why so serious,” and whatnot. I just really wanted these to be something new and exciting.

Like my terrible book, “The Hangman’s Folly,” it was a novel idea with a totally botched execution. I’ll bump it up one for the idea, but this attempt at spicy cinnamon crashed and burned.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 6.5 oz bag
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 2 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 1/4 Cups) 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of total sugars, 2 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

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