REVIEW: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, and Trix Loaded Cereals

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In my last review on this very site, a review for a healthy cereal, I made fun of “the new Trix that is stuffed with frosting.” And while I am still enjoying my box of Cheerios Loaded with Nuts, when I saw the new General Mills Loaded Cereals on the shelf, I laughed and figured “in for a penny, in for a pound.” Wait, no, that’s not it. When in Rome? Whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger? Maybe that one. Because the jaw-rattling sweetness on these new Krave knock-offs is enough to kill me. (Or at least leave me in mild discomfort.)

All three varieties — Trix, Cocoa Puffs, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch — are squared puffs filled with “vanilla creme.” The image on the box promises a creme that will decadently ooze from each piece. In what is probably a quite obvious development, this doesn’t happen. Despite this structural design flaw, is this cereal worth buying? Let’s dig in.

Trix Loaded

The world’s foremost cereal mascotted by a deranged woodland creature tastes the most like its forebearer. When you first pop one into your mouth, you get the unmistakable artificial fruit taste of Trix. As you bite in, however, you get the vanilla creme, which tastes like sweet. That’s right, it tastes like sweet. There is no discernible vanilla flavor; it tastes, in fact, like someone managed to stuff a piece of the outer shell from a Little Debbies Zebra Cake into the inside of a Trix. That doesn’t sound appealing, necessarily, but it’s better than you might think. This was the best of the three.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 180 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Cocoa Puffs Loaded

Like the Trix version, this one tasted quite a bit like the cereal from which it was born. And while the concept of a vanilla filling seems like it would be an excellent compliment to a chocolate cereal, something about it just didn’t seem to click as well. I noticed the aggressive sweetness of the filling more with this one, I think, which was a detraction. After a few spoonfuls, I realized I probably didn’t need to try this one again.

Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 180 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 2 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Loaded

This was the biggest disappointment of the group. First of all, CTC is the best cereal in General Mills’ catalogue, and maybe even the best cereal ever. Second, the idea of adding FROSTING to a cereal flavored like cinnamon toast sort of makes you think this would strongly evoke a cinnamon roll itself, right? Well, it doesn’t. Part of what makes CTC so good is the almost extreme amount of Cinnadusting on each heavenly square. These Loaded pillows have but a FRACTION of the namesake’s powder. On every fifth piece you go, oh, right, cinnamon; but by and large, these things are tasteless. Well, except for the overbearing “sweet” from the filling. Like a grandmother meeting Tom Selleck at a Blue Bloods fan convention, it is loud and proud.

Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup) 180 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 2 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

All three were purchased at Walmart for $4.93.

REVIEW: Sonic Peanut Butter Bacon Shake

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Sonic has rolled out two new limited edition Peanut Butter Bacon items, a shake and a cheeseburger, though perhaps fortunately for my nerves (which can only handle so much adventurous eating in one day), I’ll just be reviewing the shake here.

Let me be upfront: it’s not as strange as you may be afraid (or hoping) it will be. That’s because the bacon doesn’t really dominate the experience… though neither does the peanut butter.

The Peanut Butter Bacon Shake has a base of vanilla ice cream, which is understandable logistically speaking — Sonic’s a fast food joint, not an ice cream parlor capable of offering a gazillion unique flavors— but leads to the undeniable fact that it tastes more like its vanilla foundation than the mix-ins that are supposed to be featured. It also doesn’t help that the thick, creamy texture of the peanut butter doesn’t exactly blend in seamlessly with vanilla ice cream that has a thick, creamy texture too but also has the advantage of being present in a much higher quantity. If the peanut butter component came from something more mixable, like a syrup or even just a bunch of Reese’s Pieces, I think it would make much more of an impact, but as is, the smudges of peanut butter flavor only come through in small, infrequent, slightly unsatisfying doses.

You’ll notice I haven’t even mentioned the bacon yet, and that’s because it is similarly outshined. It comes in the form of well-cooked bits, a mix of larger, crispy dark red pieces and smaller, slightly chewier lighter ones, which are scattered liberally atop the rich, thick whipped topping (wimpy whipped cream it is not!) that crowns the shake. That looks cool, but sort of separates the bacon from the rest of the experience.

Yes, you could stab your straw directly into a batch of bacon bits and suck them all up at once for a rush of salty meatiness, but I’m guessing you’ll probably just do what I did, which was sip the shake without positioning the straw any particular way, resulting in mostly bacon-less sips (some bits were swirled up throughout the shake, but not enough that it really affected the flavor) with the bits on top gradually sinking to the bottom to be dealt with once the rest of the shake is gone. If we’re being pedantic, the whole thing felt more like a “Vanilla Shake with Peanut Butter Swirl and Bacon on Top” than a true “Peanut Butter Bacon Shake.”

The shake’s texture, though, was sublime; it hit my sweet spot of being thick enough that I had to work a little to drink it through the straw but not too thick that a spoon was required. And aside from its outsized presence, I don’t have any complaints about the vanilla ice cream.

Overall, this isn’t a bad product. It’s just a little odd, not daring enough to scratch the itch for novelty seekers, but maybe still a bit too weird for those seeking a classic milkshake. The few who fall into the grey area in between will likely enjoy it, but let’s just say I’m not holding my breath for this to earn a permanent place on the menu.

Purchased Price: $6.09
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable at the time of review.

REVIEW: Starbucks Iced Hazelnut Oatmilk Shaken Espresso

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Sometimes, I feel a little silly ordering a beverage that’s almost more of a mouthful to say than it is to actually drink, and that was the case when I decided to try the new Iced Hazelnut Oatmilk Shaken Espresso from Starbucks. Shaken espressos aren’t new to Starbucks but it was my first experience with one. I had questions such as “Do I want hazelnut in my coffee? Do I like oatmilk? Do I even know what a shaken espresso is supposed to be?” The answer to all of those was a hesitant “Possibly?” but if you find yourself wondering if you should order this the answer is an emphatic “Yes!”

The drink is made with shots of the chain’s blonde espresso and hazelnut syrup shaken with ice and topped with oatmilk. The ingredient list is simple but the result is more than the sum of its parts. I was genuinely surprised by the amount and sturdiness of the foam produced by the shaking process. It really does make for a different textural experience than just having a drink on ice. The last time I had a coffee featuring oatmilk I was underwhelmed, but here the oatmilk was creamy and complemented the hazelnut flavor perfectly.

As someone who often finds hazelnut flavored coffee creamers off-putting, I thought the syrup was pleasantly nutty, a little toasty, and sweet without being too sweet. It’s certainly more prominent than the flavor of the espresso, but it doesn’t completely overwhelm it. You still know you’re drinking coffee, which is what I want when I order…coffee. A major complaint people have about Starbucks is that a lot of its coffees taste too bitter or burnt, but the lighter roast of the blonde espresso ensures that isn’t an issue here.

From the first sip to the last this latest shaken espresso was so enjoyable and well balanced. I can’t recall the last time I was this happy trying a new coffee and I’m kicking myself for not jumping on the jostled java bandwagon sooner. Somehow all that shaking makes for a very smooth drink I’m struggling to find any fault with. My only problem is I wish I had more of it, but with three espresso shots in a grande, the size was probably just right to not leave me feeling shaky myself. This may have been my first time having one, but it definitely won’t be the last. I’m a person who orders five-words-in-the-title coffees now, and when they’re this good, I’m okay with that.

Purchased Price: $5.95
Size: Grande
Rating: 10 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 150 calories, 4.5 grams of total fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of total carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 16 grams of total sugar, and 2 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Reese’s Puffs Peanut Butter Lovers Cereal

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There once was a Nutter Butter Cereal from Post.
Being so peanut butter-y nutty, it could boast.
But it disappeared from shelves like a ghost.
And for a bit, my PB cereal choices were toast.

But now there’s Reese’s Puffs Peanut Butter Lovers Cereal, and it’s made me forget about the Nutter Butter one, which, by the way, should’ve returned this year with the rereleased Chips Ahoy Cereal. So if Post doesn’t want my money, I’ll happily give it to General Mills with its cereal that’s as great as Post’s discontinued offering.

Reese’s Puffs Peanut Butter Lovers Cereal is influenced by Reese’s Peanut Butter Lovers Cups. General Mills could’ve just pulled the chocolate pieces from its regular Reese’s Puffs, brushed off the cereal dust from its hands, and offered the tan peanut butter pieces as a brand new product, but it didn’t. There seems to be a thin peanut buttery coating that gives the puffs an added oomph of nutty goodness, and oh my goodness, that makes a difference.

They have a strong peanut butter taste but without the jaw-slowing texture of the spread. And that flavor shined whether I ate it dry from my hands or in milk from my hands. I think the coating will also help the pieces stay crunchy in milk for a bit longer. I wrote “I think” because this cereal is so good that my taste buds won’t let it stay in milk for long. The dairy (or non-dairy) at the bottom of the bowl does have a slightly nutty flavor. It might’ve had a more robust flavor if the cereal was allowed to soak a little longer, but, again, my taste buds won’t allow that.

Peanut Butter Lovers Cereal should be a permanent member of the Reese’s Puffs line. But if not, it’s so tasty that I’d love to see it come back yearly in the same seasonal shapes as the original Reese’s Puffs — Bunnies, Hearts, and Bats.

DISCLOSURE: I received a free product sample from General Mills. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 11.5 oz box
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 cup – cereal only) 160 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 12 grams of sugar (including 12 grams of added sugar), and 3 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie

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Ah, the Costco food court.

There’s nothing better than spending hundreds of bucks to stock your bomb shelter, then trying to weave your tank of a cart around the guy filling a soda cup next to his parked orange flatbed that has an IMAX-sized TV hanging off it.

I just want a hot dog the size of my arm. Sir, can you scootch over a bit?

Everything’s bigger in Texas? I beg to differ; everything’s bigger in Costco. I don’t even wanna ponder what a Costco in Texas must be like, my megalophobia can’t take it!

Ok, now that I got all that hacky “Costco be big” stuff out of the way, let me tell you about the new Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie they’re baking fresh in the food court. It be big. This edible frisbee measures 7 inches across and 1 inch thick while weighing in at a whopping 5.5 ounces.

The “all butter” cookie features both bittersweet and semisweet chocolate chunks, and I reiterate – I love the Costco food court. This is a quality cookie.

I was a little confused by what “all butter” meant at first. How could it be “all butter?” If it was “all butter,” it would be a stick of butter. What about the chocolate? Is that “all butter?”

Well, after I took a bite, I got it. This sucker is buttery, probably a little too buttery. That, coupled with the massive lakes of gooey chocolate, make this a cookie you’re probably gonna want to share. It’s really good, but a few bites go a long way. I ate mine in shifts.

The first few bites had a delicious “out of the oven” softness because they’re served hot and fresh. When I let it sit for a little while, the edges crisped up while the center remained soft and lukewarm. I ate the last third the next morning for breakfast, and it was firm but still chewy. I can’t think of three better cookie experiences texturally, with the middle shift being my favorite.

If you’ve ever bought a box of chocolate chip cookies in the Costco bakery section, these are pretty much just them on steroids. It’s what I expected, and it’s what I got.

So, if you like Costco baked goods, you’re gonna like this. Try one… half of one at most. Just be aware of the challenge you’re in for. I’m a grown man (questionable), so I don’t use the word “tummy,” but the thought of eating this cookie in one sitting makes my tummy hurt. The mere thought has devolved my stomach back to a “tummy.”

I really should stress again how big this behemoth is. I called it a frisbee earlier, but it could probably be used as a discus in the Ozempics – which is a food-based Olympics I’m workshopping and you’re rolling your eyes at.

As far as the loss leaders at the glorious Costco food court go, I still think the hot dog and pizza are king, but this cookie is superior to the churro it’s replacing nationwide. Just go for it. You already bought enough food to feed an army; what’s another 750 calories?

Allow me to lay down a challenge – buy two cookies and a kiddie pool-sized vanilla ice cream, then make the world’s thickest Chipwich. You won’t do it. … Coward.

(Please do it and report back… Coward.)

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: ~5.5 oz
Purchased at: Costco
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 750 calories. No other nutritional info is available.

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