REVIEW: International Delight Cold Foam Creamer

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Look at me! I’m a barista! I’m making fancy-looking coffee drinks with my cheap ground coffee and International Delight’s Cold Foam Creamer. Maybe I should start a Marbucks?

The cold foam in a can comes in three varieties — French Vanilla, Sweet & Creamy, and Caramel Macchiato. I was only able to pick up the latter two.

Of course, the most important question you might be thinking is: Did I shoot it into my mouth like whipped cream? No, of course not. I’m a grown man with loans and someone I can claim as a dependent on my taxes, so I won’t use my hands to spray this cold foam into my mouth. I let my dependent do that. Although it’s not as saccharine as drinking liquid creamer, it’s still quite sweet, and spraying it into my mouth is something I won’t ask my dependent to do again.

Both flavors I tried are delightful. The Caramel one has a mild flavor but is still noticeable with coffee. And the Sweet & Creamy one is, well, sweet and creamy. Think of it as having roughly the same flavor as liquid sweet cream creamers on the market. If I pick this up again, I’d get the Sweet & Creamy one.

But I’m not sure I’d repurchase International Delight’s Cold Foam Creamer because if I got addicted to it, it would get pricey quickly. You see, there are FORTY 2 tablespoon servings per container according to the nutrition label, but because I use a lot of creamer, I made the foam layer thiccc. That resulted in me getting about six or seven servings per can.

When I did drink my coffee with it, I liked to shovel some of the foam in my mouth with my top lip and then follow it up with some hot liquid. It ended up being the right balance of foam and coffee. I let the cold foam completely melt away a couple of times, which ended up tasting like any other java drink I’ve made with liquid creamer. It was fun to watch it cascade down the sides of my clear mug and into the hot coffee, and it took a long time to disappear because, again, I made my layers thiccc.

I like International Delight’s Cold Foam Creamer but can’t see it as a regular purchase. I’d rather buy a big ol’ jug of liquid coffee creamer to make my morning caffeine tolerable. It would last longer, and besides, most of the time, I drink my coffee out of an insulated, not-see-through travel mug, so I wouldn’t be able to see the foam layer.

Purchased Price: $5.49 (sale price)
Size: 14 oz cans
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 Tbsp) Caramel Macchiato – 20 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 0 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (including 3 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein. Sweet & Creamy – 20 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 10 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (including 3 grams of added sugar), and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Cheetos Crunchy Buffalo

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Puffy or crunchy?

Blue cheese or Ranch?

These questions have plagued humankind for… I don’t know how long, actually. I could probably research that, but I’m not here to do research. I’m here to review Cheetos Crunchy Buffalo.

Yup, we’ve got Buffalo-flavored Cheetos now – a massive win for the permanent orange-stained finger community.

At the risk of being shunned from society, I have a confession to make. I don’t worship Buffalo wings like seemingly every other dude on Earth. I like ’em. They’re fun every now and then, but I don’t inhale trays like you, Tim. I know you’re reading this, Tim.

The reason these appealed to me was not so much the Buffalo flavor but the fact they mixed said flavor with the standard Cheetos-style cheese. Sure, Buffalo and cheese isn’t exactly a novel duo, but Buffalo and that distinct Cheetos taste seemed like an interesting pairing.

My suspicions were spot on because these strike a nice balance between Buffalo sauce (do I need to capitalize Buffalo every time?) and a standard Cheeto.

The cheese acts as a chill pill for the Buffalo flavor, which I find to be a sauce that can easily go off the rails. I’ve tried Buffalo sauces that are so “Buffaloey” that they almost have an off-putting sour finish. You don’t get that here. They’re really good.

I might actually like these more than regular crunchy Cheetos.

I certainly like them more than Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, which I’m on record calling one of the most overrated snacks on Earth. These have a heat to them that probably makes them more similar to the Flamin’ Hot line than the original. On a Buffalo wing sauce scale of “Mild to ‘You’ll Hallucinate Lucifer,’” these check in at around “Comfortably Hot.” I’d put the heat level a tick below Flamin’ Hot.

Since you’re wondering, yes, I dipped them in the superior chicken wing sauce, Ranch. It worked. I don’t think I’ve ever dipped Cheetos in anything before, but adding that Ranch cooling factor made me hope for a Buffalo ranch version someday.

I’m pretty impressed. These are Cheetos with a little twist, and dare I say the twist makes them better overall. They were some of the freshest Cheetos I’ve ever had and even lingered with a pleasant spiced corn aftertaste. I don’t know why I dug that, but it was a great capper.

My one complaint was not giving Chester a new, edgy Buffalo buddy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a buffalo in Oakleys before. They coulda named him “Butchie,” or “Bloo Cheez,” or “Dude, stop rambling and finish the review already.” I don’t know. Just something to keep in mind for the next bag.

Pick these up for sure. Hopefully, they’re successful, and Frito Lay runs the gamut on Cheetos and sauce pairings. BBQ, Ranch, Sriracha, whatever. Buffalo Cheetos made me think a lot of them would work.

Purchased Price: $4.38
Size: 8.5 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (21 Pieces) 150 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 150 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of total sugars, less than 1 gram of fiber, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Smash’d Potato Bowl

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If you’re a fan of KFC’s Famous Bowls, get ready to be bowled over (heh) by the chicken chain’s newest offering, the similarly-themed-but-even-more-tater-filled Smash’d Potato Bowl. I get the line of thinking: fried chicken is often eaten with sides, which are often potato-based, and said potato-based sides often come with toppings, so why not give customers a meal that “smashes” all of these favorites together in one forkful (or, in the case of the utensil my local KFC provided, sporkful)?

This bowl begins with a base of mashed potatoes, which are then covered in a layer of fries, doused with cheese sauce, and then sprinkled with bacon bits. (The press release says there’s a three-cheese blend thrown in as well, but my meal gave no indication of that, so it was either really well-hidden or just not important enough to be remembered). You’ll notice that I didn’t actually mention chicken because it’s optional. If you opt for it, it comes in the form of five nuggets. Vegetarians, though they may not be KFC’s target audience, rejoice! … Oh, wait, there is still bacon even in the nugget-less variant, so vegetarians, stop rejoicing! Anyway, KFC’s nuggets are too “finger lickin’ good” for me to resist, so of course I had to add them.

All of these ingredients sound pretty promising, but unfortunately, throwing them together didn’t really wow me. In fact, what the haphazard mishmash made me think of more than anything was a school cafeteria lunch. The mashed potatoes were silky, pleasantly avoiding the grittiness and graininess that can sometimes creep in, but they had an odd aftertaste that made me want to focus on the other ingredients as much as possible. The fries were more delicious than I’d thought they’d be, crispy and savory on the outside but surprisingly and appealingly soft on the inside, but something about eating fries and mashed potatoes together did feel a bit ridiculous, even for an admittedly whimsical eater like me.

The thin, slightly tangy cheese sauce, to be frank, was gas-station quality. And while the bacon bits actually did impress me with how chewy and not-stringy they were, they were so concentrated in the center that the excess kept falling from my spork and getting lodged in the nooks and crannies of the bowl, so while they appeared pretty plentiful, most of them didn’t make it to my mouth. It didn’t shock me that KFC’s famous chicken, so juicy and zesty, was my favorite part by far, but it’s sad to think that the best bit of this is the one that’s optional.

KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowl does deliver on the starch-stuffed combo it promises, but your mileage may vary: the more noticeable thing it delivered for me was a hankering for a plain old order of chicken and fries — hold the elusive bacon, synthetic-tasting mash, and underwhelming cheese, please.

Purchased Price: $7.61
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 760 calories. Other nutritional information was unavailable at the time of review.

REVIEW: Doritos Dinamita Flamin’ Hot Queso

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Doritos has a long history of Super Bowl commercials. This year, it’s using the ad spot to relaunch its Dinamitas line with a handful of flavors that are not exactly new to shelves despite the packaging proclaiming newness in capital letters. Flamin’ Hot Queso Dinamitas first appeared in 2021 in bags considerably more cheese-colored and less bold than this iteration. A few years later, they’re back dressed in red and black, and the Dinameter’s pushing all the way to “EXTRA HOT.” It was impossible for me to approach these chips without picturing some sort of Looney Tunes character unwittingly ending up with a mouthful of dynamite so let’s find out if these cause my stomach to comically explode while smoke pours from my ears.

Opening the bag reveals these rolled up corn chips to be covered in classic red Flamin’ Hot dust, but the smell leans more traditionally cheesy-Dorito than anything intensely hot. They’re definitely extra crunchy, like the back of the bag notes, and the flavors that hit me first are corn and cheese. I wouldn’t really say the cheese represents queso in any noticeable way, but they reminded me of the Spicy Nacho Doritos variety. Despite every chip-tube being thoroughly coated in the finger-staining fire powder, I didn’t find these to be all that hot. I have a fairly high tolerance for heat and a very high tolerance for rapidly shoving snack food into my mouth, so even as my fingertips, knuckles, and wrists began to turn scarlet from repeated trips into the chip bag, I felt like the Dinameter was exaggerating. This is where I picture a greedy character gleefully gobbling up poorly disguised sticks of dynamite, unaware of the impending boom.

I don’t know if it’s the more compact rolled shape or what, but these are very easy to eat a lot of, and I didn’t find myself needing to reach for anything to quell the burn. Is it nice to have a beverage with them? Sure! If I found myself without one, would I still eat three servings? Also sure! The heat does start to creep in and slowly build in the back of the mouth, but they never turn the dial into “extra hot” territory for me or leave me feeling like I’m ready to spit flames at whatever nemesis tricked me into eating them. While these might fall short of their claim of being extra hot, they excel at being extremely snackable. With a solid cheesy base flavor and a hot-without-blowing-your-head-off heat, they’re a fun way to shake up your regular chip game. I can see people finding these hotter than I did, but if you’re heat-sensitive, you probably aren’t chasing down Dinamitas in the first place. If you’ve enjoyed anything Flamin’ Hot in the past, I think you’ll be more than happy to risk internal combustion and chomp on these.

Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 10.75 oz bag
Purchased at: Mariano’s
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (14 pieces) 150 calories, 8 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King Candied Bacon Whopper

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If only you could’ve seen my face when I rolled my eyes after hearing about Burger King’s Candied Bacon Whopper. Candied bacon? Bacon jam? Oooh, fancy, Burger King. Are you providing cloth napkins now, too? But after eating it, I need to put my foot in my mouth, and I will gladly do so, as long as there’s a Candied Bacon Whopper attached to it because I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

The newest Whopper variation features a flame-grilled beef patty, tomatoes, lettuce, crispy fried onions, garlic aioli, sweet bacon jam, and brown sugar candied bacon on a sesame seed bun.

I will skip writing about the beef patty, tomatoes, lettuce, and sesame seed bun because if you’ve had a Whopper, you know what those bring to the table. So, let’s start with the bacon jam with chewy bacon bits. It’s sweet, smoky, and a little peppery, and I could be cliche here and say it’s my jam, but I can’t because, on its own, I can taste why it needs the other toppings to make this Whopper special. Its flavor doesn’t have a strong punch.

The brown sugar candied bacon doesn’t look like the shriveled-up pork pieces that are Burger King’s regular bacon. The sugary coating makes the bacon look better but doesn’t help give it a crispy texture. It’s not as sweet as the bacon jam, which allows its salty and porky goodness to come through. When combined with the sweet and savory jam, they give the burger a tasty barbecue-like vibe. Also, at times, I tasted something that reminded me of teriyaki sauce, so that might be the garlic aioli making itself known among the other toppings.

As for the crispy fried onion pieces, their flavor helps complete the barbecue vibe I’m tasting. They also give the burger some crispy texture, which I wish was from the bacon and lettuce, but I will take it any way I can get it.

Sure, Burger King’s Candied Bacon Whopper has almost the same amount of sugar as a 20-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew, but that helps make this Whopper sweet and sahweet (Am I using that properly, kids?). I can understand how that sweetness might turn off a few taste buds, but mine appreciated every bite. I’m sorry, Burger King. I thought you couldn’t pull off something like this, but I was wrong.

Purchased Price: $15.29 (meal)
Size: Small meal
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 850 calories, 49 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 1.4 grams of trans fat, 103 milligrams of cholesterol, 1090 milligrams of sodium, 71 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 72 grams of sugar, and 41 grams of protein.

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