REVIEW: Monster Rio Punch Energy Juice

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I thought about starting this review using the lyrics for Duran Duran’s song “Rio.” Who’s Duran Duran, you ask? And that is why I decided against the reference. But much like I can’t get the song “Rio” out of my head when I bring it up, I haven’t gotten the taste of Monster Energy’s Rio Punch out of my mind ever since drinking it.

According to the description on the side of the can, Rio Punch is a blend of exotic fruit flavors with a hint of spice. Scanning the ingredients list shows it’s flavored with papaya and mango purees. The can also says Brazil is home to over 70% of all fruits ever known, but I’m too lazy to fact-check that. Something else I’m unsure of is that “hint of spice.” Is there a hint? If there’s a hint, it’s as much of one as r4lkfot4$v2jhi4t2 is a hint to my bank’s password because all I taste are the fruits.

When poured into a glass, its orange hue makes it look like it’s flavored with papaya and mango, but it smells like a red fruit punch. There’s definitely a tropical vibe going on with this energy drink’s flavor. At first, it also tasted like a fruit punch, but with subsequent sips, I started tasting the individual fruits with the papaya being stronger than the mango. I’m not going to complain about that because mango is a common drink flavor, while the equally as delicious papaya isn’t. The more I drank this, the more I enjoyed it. Although, there’s a bit of an artificial sweetener finish, which takes away from the tasty start.

Like Monster Energy’s Ultra line, I can’t think of being disappointed with any Monster Juice product, which continues with Rio Punch. It has a great tropical flavor that I won’t soon forget, much like the lyrics to Duran Duran’s “Rio.” Although, I much prefer Pipeline Punch and Pacific Punch over this new flavor.

Purchase Monster Rio Punch on Amazon. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Purchased Price: More than one should pay on eBay
Size: 16 oz can
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 140 calories, 0 grams of fat, 180 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 33 grams of sugar (including 33 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 160 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Wendy’s Breakfast Burrito

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“It’s bigger than I thought it would be,” my girlfriend said, starting down at my lap. But before you get any weird ideas, we were leaving the Wendy’s drive thru, and she was referring to the new breakfast burrito I’d recently procured. And to be fair, she was right.

While Wendy’s entry into the crowded world of breakfast burritos isn’t necessarily akin to the infant-sized behemoth you might find on a working person’s local food truck, it is close to twice the size of a McDonald’s burrito, and maybe 25% larger than oh, say, Sonic’s. (I’ve never had a Burger King breakfast burrito, provided they sell one, and it’s been a decade or more since I had Hardee’s version, so I can’t speak to that one, either.)

Unlike its closest fast food competitors — and really, unlike most other breakfast burritos in general — Wendy’s sets itself apart in a few ways. First, it’s using two “fresh cracked eggs.” Think “fried” egg instead of the scrambled you typically find in most burritos. If you’re into that sort of thing, you’ll love this; personally, I found myself missing the consistent bite provided by the scrambled kind.

Second, it’s including its “seasoned breakfast potatoes” in the mix. If you haven’t had the chain’s answer to the standard hash brown, you might be pleasantly surprised. The right amount of seasoned, the right amount of externally crispy, and the right amount of internally fluffy, these wedge-like tubers fill up space within the burrito normally occupied by scrambled egg. Without them — due to the flat nature of the fried eggs — this burrito would be quite thin.

And finally, Wendy’s is setting itself apart by employing a “Swiss cheese sauce.” The idea of a Swiss cheese sauce is pretty intriguing, don’t get me wrong, but I was hard-pressed to notice it in the mix. All I really noticed from a cheese perspective was the American. It did what American cheese always does — it got melty and gooey and served its purpose well.

Same goes for the bacon. Wendy’s uses “Applewood smoked” bacon, which are oven-baked. Wendy’s bacon is pretty good, if you’ve never had it. It comes across as less genetically engineered than McDonald’s, and thicker than Burger King’s. Wendy’s claims there are six strips in the burrito, but that wasn’t my experience. Either their strips are an inch long or they’re fudging the numbers, but I don’t know that I believe mine had anything close to that number.

It’s also worth noting that Wendy’s is including a Cholula hot sauce packet with your burrito. I’m not normally a “hot/taco/picante sauce on my burrito” kinda guy, but I tried it for the sake of science, and predictably, it didn’t really do much to elevate my experience. If you’re a Cholula on your breakfast burrito person, though, this is a thoughtful inclusion.

While this burrito was fine, I’d only eat one again if I found myself requiring a fast-food breakfast and there was nary a McDonald’s in sight. It wasn’t good enough to make me seek out another one, and when it comes to a new product, that’s not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Purchased Price: $4.99
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 700 calories, 40 grams of fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2210 milligrams of sodium, 53 grams of total carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 32 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Ghost Energy FaZe Up Energy Drink

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When Ghost Energy debuted in 2020, it had four core flavors, one of which was vaguely titled “Citrus.” That can gave me big time lemon-lime Gatorade vibes with a hint of Mello Yello, which always reminds, affectionally, me of a C-tier fast food soda fountain. Ghost’s “Citrus” is a solid, full-flavored energy drink that I revisited recently ahead of this review and still enjoy quite a bit. For its follow-up foray into the lemon-lime category, the brand has once again teamed up with heralded esports gaming group FaZe Clan for the even more cryptically titled “FaZe Up.”

Reading the name “FaZe Up,” I instantly expect a clean, sharp, and crisp lemon-lime flavor, a la 7UP or Sprite, but that’s not what I get. The flavor starts off eerily similar to the original Ghost Citrus, with a bit more of a Mountain Dew aura to go along with the Mello Yello I tasted before. There’s no background signature Dew taste (you know the one), but that blend of lemon-forward sweet citrus dominates the opening sip. Then the flavor changes and steers away from that lemon-sphere into lime-land and finishes with a pronounced sour pucker. It’s really good.

In essence, “FaZe Up” does have some of the sharpness of a 7UP or Sierra Mist (ahem, sorry, Starry), but only in the backend of the flavor. This is a Mountain-Dew-meets-7UP-meets-sour-candy-energy-drink for the lemon-lime lovers that really does hit the spot like a proper jolt of citrusy electricity. As always with Ghost, the flavor is dense and endlessly drinkable with a nice, tight effervescence that goes down smooth without feeling flat. It’s delicious, and with 200 milligrams of caffeine and solid doses of other focus ingredients, it is absolutely one I will come back to again and again.

Purchased Price: $3.29
Size: 16 oz can
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 10 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Pulled Pork BBQ Cheeseburger

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There are many things that pop into my mind when I think of Sonic: their magical, perfectly chewable ice nuggets, the amazing variety of drink and frozen treat options…and the time my wife spilled an entire Route 44 Cherry Coke on herself when she snagged the lid on the car door. Thankfully, she doesn’t read my reviews. She does not find nearly as much humor in that memory as I do.

One thing I don’t associate with Sonic is BBQ because, well, it’s Sonic. So I wasn’t sure what to expect when I ordered the new Sonic Pulled Pork BBQ Cheeseburger. To my mild surprise, it was quite good. Mind you, it’s not good like one of those BBQ places where you wait in line for 45 minutes and pray they don’t run out before you get to order, but if you have a hankering for some pulled pork and are pressed for time, this gets the job done.

This sandwich contains what you would expect based on the name — a burger patty, cheese, and pulled pork. The pork didn’t really wow me, but it was juicy and tender as it should be. It’s the little extras that make this shine. The meats are nestled in a pillowy, slightly sweet brioche bun with a blanket of pickles to add some crunch and acidic kick. Sonic claims it has “cherrywood smoke sauce,” which I quite enjoyed, despite detecting only the slightest hint of smoke flavor and certainly not enough for my palate to detect the type of tree from which any smoke might originate. The sauce did have a more complex flavor than what you might expect from a typical fast food BBQ condiment.

The end result was a juicy tag team of beef and pork with some tasty sauce that paired nicely with the pickles and mild cheese flavor. The great-tasting bun holds it all together beautifully. My only quibbles are that this thing is pretty salty, as the 1,590 milligrams of sodium confirms, and the $6.39 price tag seems a touch pricey, especially since mine wasn’t overflowing with pulled pork as the Sonic app led me to believe.

Sonic says this is a limited time item, so I plan to get it at least once or twice before it disappears. It’s also available as a simple pulled pork sandwich without the burger and as Totchos with cheese sauce, shredded cheese, pulled pork, and sauce on top of tots.

Purchased Price: $6.39
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 700 calories, 40 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1590 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Pizza Hut Hot Honey Double Pepperoni Pizza

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I’m all for this hot honey trend that seems to have been going on for the past year or so. Just thinking of “hot honey” makes me smile. But not for the reasons you think.

It brings a smile to my face because saying, hearing, or reading the words “hot honey” makes me imagine Winnie the Pooh saying, “Oh, you’re looking hot, honey,” to an enticing, overfilled jar of honey in the most seductive voice that Winnie the Pooh can conjure up while rubbing his belly with both hands and wiggling his hips, with Piglet and Eeyore shaking their heads and covering their eyes.

Pizza Hut has jumped on the hot honey trend train with its new Hot Honey Double Pepperoni Pizza that features classic and crispy, cupped pepperoni and the chain’s new habanero-infused honey sauce, which, on this pizza, made me rub my belly with both hands and wiggle my hips.

Don’t let the words “habanero-infused” scare you if you’re afraid of habaneros because the hot honey doesn’t sting. There was a little burn, but it mostly made my mouth tingle. Pizza Hut’s crushed red peppers are spicier. The topping had a slight peppery flavor but mainly provided a pleasant burst of sweetness that went well with the savory meats and cheese. I liked the hot honey enough that when I got a bite that lacked any sweetness, which was rare, I lamented for a bit.

At first, I thought the addition of two different pepperoni was overkill. However, on top of the cupped pepperoni providing a crispy texture and a slightly different meaty flavor, they were also used as cups to contain the hot honey. I don’t know if that was intentional, but if it was, kudos, Pizza Hut.

If you want a pizza that’ll make you sweat or cause your mouth to burn so much that it’ll make you want to drink a cold glass of someone else’s sweat, Pizza Hut’s Hot Honey Pizza will not meet your high heat standards. But for me, saying its name and eating it makes me as happy as a particular pants-less teddy bear finding honey, and I would order it again over a regular pepperoni pizza.

Purchased Price: $15.99*
Size: Medium
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 medium pizza slice) 270 calories, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 560 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

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