I know it seems like every year I introduce a new blog and then it dies within a month due to neglect like it was a Tamagotchi in the back of a desk drawer (see The Impulsive Download and Cereal Mashup). But I’m teaming up with a friend to start up another new blog and this time the chances of it sticking around for more than a month are absolutely awesome, because it’s already been around for more than a month.

So what’s this new blog called? Awesome Online Money Making Blog. What’s it about? Well, I guess our About page covers it best:

Ever dream of making money in your underwear?  Awesome Online Money Making Blog is your guide to making your half-naked dreams come true.  We fuck your brain with tips and hints to help you make money online and we give it to you hard.  We also assist you to become better online attention whores through blogging, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and whatever social network becomes trendy over the next few years.  If you can produce shit that no one cares about, we’ll help you make at least one person give a shit and monetize whatever dribble you send out into cyberspace.   If we can’t monetize your blog, then no one will be able to monetize it, and if we can’t monetize it, then you should smash your computer into pieces with a sledgehammer and get a real job.

Disclaimer: We are not online money making experts. You will probably not make any money or gain any fame with the tips we provide you. However, if you do make lots of money using our hints and tips, please let us know so that we can start to call ourselves “online money making experts,” which again, we are not at this time.

So if you’re interested in learning useless online money making hints and tips, check out Awesome Online Money Making Blog.

Hi! Hello? Is this thing on? I don’t think… HELLO IMPULSIVE BUYERS! Oh – okay, that’s better.

My name is Nichol. Long time follower, first time typewriter monkey.

First off, I am a San Diegan, and therefore classy.

I possess the heart and stomach of a Midwesterner, the eyes of a hawk, the legs of a jackal, the bosom of a traditional haus frau, and the stature of Napoleon Bonaparte. Maybe I’m lying about some of that, and maybe I’m not, but in any case, I’ve probably got you picturing some sort of small monster banging away maniacally on a damaged keyboard in a dark room, and that, I can assure you, is a fairly accurate account of what’s happening.

I don’t eat canned tuna, barbequed Twinkies, or any foods that glow in the dark without mentioning it on the label. Aside from that, I’m about as discerning as a half-starved Beagle and at least twice as curious. This will undoubtedly give all of you ample opportunity to revel in my regret, confusion, and outrage when things like gummy rats and off-brand frozen egg rolls turn out not to be delicious.

I grew up in a small (but not tiny) town in the absolute middle of both Southern Illinois and nowhere. I’d try to describe the exact location, but you’ve probably never encountered any of the surrounding communities either, so suffice it to say I was like 65 miles from St. Louis and that was the closest notable metropolitan area. We’d usually get the “new” and “limited edition” products months after everyone else in the developed world. This somehow made everything far more exciting and noteworthy. I like to think I’ve managed to bottle a bit of that overzealous commercial devotion and keep the magic alive even in this newfangled era of instant gratification. And I’m re-opening that bottle just for you.

Following that uneventfully quaint childhood, I went on to earn a dual degree in English and creative writing from the University of Illinois. Then I got bored with corn fields and ran off to the west coast on the coattails of my best friend. I am currently utilizing my degree through seasonal work, elder care and psych studies.

Moving to an urban area has proved to be a truly novel, almost dazzling experience. For the first time in my life, I can buy things like name brand shoes without leaving the state or trusting the trench coat wearing man in the alley behind my house. Also, if I drive for ten minutes in any direction, I am pretty much guaranteed to hit an In-N-Out Burger. On the count of three let’s all think about this and drool.

I am always snarky, often unintentionally creepy, at best questionably sane, and beyond excited to be joining the team and info-taining you guys every once in awhile. I look forward to the many crunchy, processed, and/or sugar coated experiences in which we will no doubt share in the near future here on TIB.