KZ3 is short for the PlayStation 3 video game, Killzone 3, which is scheduled to be released on February 22. I don’t play first-person shooters because they make me nauseous and give me weird dreams that involve me ducking all the time. But I don’t think KZ3 Battle Fuel Slurpee would be a good battle fuel while you’re shooting Helghast Empire baddies because it lacks what all gamers crave…electrolytes. Er, I mean, caffeine.

However, if you drink ten KZ3 Battle Fuel Slurpees from cups with reward points, or dumpster dive to get ten Slurpee cups with reward points, you can redeem those points to download a “Retro Map Pack” which has two popular maps from Killzone 2 — Salamun Market and Blood Gracht.

Slurpee describes their KZ3 Battle Fuel Slurpee as, “A relentless blast of orange.” However, if you compare its ingredients list and with regular orange Slurpee, you’ll see that they’re the same.

Eight ounces of KZ3 Battle Fuel Slurpee has 66 calories, 0 grams of fat, 15 grams of carbohydrates and 15 grams of sugar.

There currently isn’t any information about the Sweetheart Smoothie on the Jamba website, but since it’s a Valentine’s themed smoothie, I’m going to assume it’s made from hugs, kisses, overpriced rose petals, boxed chocolates, Hallmark cards, and the sweat from men frantically trying to make a reservation at a nice restaurant the day before Valentine’s Day.

Update: According to commenter JT below, it contains, “a blend of strawberries, peaches, nonfat frozen yogurt, yumberry juice, and pineapple juice”

The Jamba Juice Sweetheart Smoothie is available for a limited time and you can get 2 sixteen-sized smoothies for five dollars, at participating Jamba Juice locations, using the coupon link below.

Personally, buying one and getting two straws is more romantic. Although, buying one and letting your significant other have it all is even more romantic.

I was largely unfamiliar with Papa Murphy’s until I heard about their new S’mores Dessert Pizza. Apparently their whole schtick is “Take ‘N’ Bake” – essentially, they assemble the pizza for you, then you take it home and bake it in your own oven whenever you’re ready. Their website is sadly lacking on information about this. When exactly is “whenever you’re ready?” In a few hours? Days? The year 2014?

A friend of mine loves Papa Murphy’s and provided me with some information. Apparently it’s best to bake it immediately, but you can leave it in the fridge for up to 24 hours and it’ll still be good. After that, there is a quality decline. This is all secondhand information, but she’s frequented Papa Murphy’s enough that I trust her judgment. She also informed me that the pizza does come with baking instructions. I figured they did, but enjoyed entertaining the idea of Papa Murphy’s leaving you in the wind, being forced to guess on cooking times and temperatures.

Now that we’ve solved that mystery, let’s get to the pizza. From the mouth of Papa: “Our new Smores Dessert Pizza is the gooey goodness of real Hershey’s Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips, lightly toasted Mini Marshmallows and a delicious Crisp Topping.”

There’s no listed price, but I’ve heard their pies are pretty cheap, so if you and your honey are broke, you can get a regular Papa Murphy’s pizza and a S’mores Dessert Pizza and have a pizza-filled Valentine’s Day. What better way to say “I love you” than by cooking a pizza topped with a traditional camping treat? It’s a subtle way of telling your loved one, “If you don’t find a job soon we may be camping outside permanently!”

Update: According to jima99 on Twitter the pizza is “just $3 and about the size of a normal small pizza.”

I have no idea what Jack in the Box’s chocolate, vanilla and strawberry shakes taste like because whenever I have a craving to fill my body with blended creamy goodness while sitting in the Jack in the Box drive thru, I almost always pick their Oreo shake. When I don’t, it’s a seasonal flavor, like egg nog or pumpkin pie. I don’t know why I stay away from them, I just do.

Recently, Jack in the Box introduced a new Mint Oreo Shake, which gives me another option so that I can continue to avoid their chocolate, vanilla and strawberry shakes. The Mint Oreo Ice Cream Shake is made with vanilla ice cream Oreo cookie pieces, mint-flavored syrup, whipped topping and a maraschino cherry. It comes in two sizes: 16- and 24-ounces.

A 16-ounce serving contains…um, now would be the time to close your browser window if large numbers scare you…925 calories, 401 calories from fat, 45 grams of fat, 30 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 388 milligrams of sodium, 696 milligrams of potassium, 116 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 95 grams of sugar, and 13 grams of protein.

It’s cold throughout most of the United States. Here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean it’s 80 degrees (the previous sentences were not brought to you by the Hawaii Visitors Bureau). Cold weather isn’t ice cream weather, unless you’re eating the ice cream to help you build a thick layer of fat on your body to keep you warm.

But for most people that isn’t the case, and I imagine sales during the winter months at ice cream shops, like Cold Stone Creamery, drop. Well Cold Stone Creamery isn’t standing still like a snowman without a magical hat. Recently, they introduced a line of warm desserts called The Plated Desserts.

The four desserts are:

Brownie A La Cold Stone – warm brownies topped with vanilla ice cream, whipped topping, caramel, hot fudge and pecans.

Churro Caramel Crave – cinnamon and sugar churros with vanilla ice cream, caramel and whipped topping.

Chocolate Lava Meltdown – warm chocolate cake filled with hot fudge and topped with vanilla ice cream, fudge, whipped topping and chocolate shavings.

No Fair Funnel Cake – funnel cake covered with powdered sugar and topped with strawberries, vanilla ice cream, strawberry puree and whipped topping.

The Plated Desserts are available at participating locations through April 30, and cost $4.99 each.