What is Dunkin’s Sugarplum Iced Macchiato

One of the most flavorful coffee concoctions Dunkin’ has ever released, and certainly its most purple!

How is it?

I love it, but I have to admit, I didn’t know what a sugarplum was, and I still kinda don’t?

Are they even a real thing, or did that dude who wrote “Twas the Night Before Christmas” make them up? Is it just a candied plum? Is “sugarplum” just a cute blanket word for “sweets,” kinda like how the British use “pudding” to describe everything from actual pudding to cake to, like, toothpaste?

Every time I hear the word, I think of a hard-boiled noir detective being a jerk to some poor dame. “Hows about grabbin’ me a cuppa joe, sugarplums?”

Perhaps that bit of poorly aged dialogue somehow inspired this delicious coffee drink?

I decided to skip any and all research in an attempt to figure out what sugarplum actually tastes like, and I settled on “berry bomb.”

I may have been influenced by the whimsical color of the drink itself (seriously, how cool looking is that?). But on any given sip, I tasted just about every “dark fruit” from grape to blueberry to its namesake, plum. I’d describe it as vaguely “Fruity Pebbles After-milk.”

If Nestle Quik released an all-encompassing “Berry Milk” flavor, it would probably taste like the lower level of this drink, and I can’t compliment Dunkin’ enough.

Anything else you need to know?

As you can see from the oil and vinegar-style separation, the top layer is espresso, and it packs a wallop. I was able to take sips of each layer individually just by moving the straw. That’s some of the strongest coffee Dunkin’ has to offer.

After sampling each layer a few times, I mixed it up, and while the milky sugarplum layer lost a lot of its punch, it still made for a really nice iced macchiato. Then again, I’m the type of freak who likes to order blueberry flavor shots in my coffee.

Conclusion:

I doubled back to Dunkin’s press release, which described sugarplum as “bright berry flavors of blueberry, raspberry, blackberry, and plum,” so I was in the ballpark. I love that a fruit like plum gets to shine a bit for once, and I think this was a creative new spin on holiday gimmicks. I can see this becoming a yearly thing, and I fully expect more brands to get on the Sugarplum Express. We all know imitation is the sincerest form of fattery… flattery.

Purchased Price: $4.39
Size: Medium
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (with whole milk) 280 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 20 mg of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of total carbohydrates, 44 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of fiber, and 9 grams of protein.

Mmmm, forbidden donut. *Homer drooling sound*

Are you tired of Dunkin’s normal fare? Then, may I interest you in Dunkin’s new PARAnormal fare?!

*Lights flicker! A wolf howls! An additional cliché scary thing happens!*

*Shrill scream, maniacal laugh, yadda yadda, and so on*

Now that I’ve set the mood…

According to the press release, the new Spicy Ghost Pepper Donut is a “classic yeast donut ring, topped with a strawberry flavored icing that features a bold blend of cayenne and ghost pepper, finished with red sanding sugar.”

If that sounds spooky and strange to you, I’m right there with you. I had no clue what to expect. “Ghost Pepper” gives the impression this donut tastes like the 4th layer of hell. But then again, would Dunkin’ really put something on the menu that would force you to chug a gallon of milk at 7 am?

I won’t drag it out to calm your fear – this donut isn’t extremely spicy. I mean, it’s spicy for a donut, but you won’t have to plan your day around it.

Have you ever spritzed cologne or perfume and then walked through the mist to catch some of the droplets? This is like if a Strawberry Donut did that with pepper spray.

I’ve never eaten a straight ghost pepper because I’m not a psycho, so I can’t really vouch for the exact authenticity of the pepper flavor. I did, however, taste a crisp red pepper vegetable essence, if that makes sense.

It’s “ghost” in the sense it tastes like the ghost of pepper past. I’d put the heat level on par with a standard spicy chicken nugget. But the strawberry icing and little sugar crystals neutralize it down another Scoville notch lower.

Imagine the aftertaste of having a spicy Mexican or Indian dinner, then chasing it with a strawberry donut for dessert.

The heat did grow with each bite, leaving my lips a little numb, but it wasn’t something that stuck around. A few sips of coffee should just about wipe the ghost from your palate completely.

So, did I like it? Ehhhh. Definitely not a top tier donut, but a weird novelty worth trying if only to get into the Halloween spirit. I respect the seasonally appropriate marketing, but wish Dunkin’ went with a cinnamon-based “Red Hot” heat instead of “ghost” pepper.

I think this exists just to be a fun “Bertie Botts Beans”-type prank donut to toss into a dozen. It’d be funny to watch an unsuspecting friend eat it and wonder where the spice is coming from.

I say try it if only to say you’ve had it. It’s basically a dollar. Why not?

To quote Ray Parker Jr, “don’t be scared of no ghost… pepper donut.” That’s the remix. Check his Soundcloud if you don’t believe me.

Happy Halloween!

Purchased Price: $1.19
Size: n/a
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 11 grams of fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 300 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 16 gram of total sugars, 1 gram of fiber, and 4 grams of protein.

What is Dunkin’s “The Charli”

What? You don’t know TikTok superstar Charli D’Amelio’s favorite Dunkin’ order?

Pff, I scoff at you. Everyone knows it’s a medium cold brew with whole milk and three pumps of caramel!

How is it?

How is it, or WHY is it?

I have to admit, I didn’t get “The Charli,” literally or figuratively. I technically cheated and got a small, which I nicknamed, “The Chaz.” (A large is obviously “The Charles.”)

I mean, it’s a cold brew with milk and a lot of sugary caramel syrup. I think smalls only get two pumps, but even that was a bit too sweet for my blood. I don’t get flavors in cold brew because it masks the cold brew flavor and makes it taste like a regular iced coffee. It’s a subtle difference, but I notice it. Whole milk is not my #1 dairy choice, but it was fine.

Now to get to the why…hmm, how do I write about this weird collaboration without sounding like an angry geezer?

Anything else you need to know?

“Charli Cold Brew” sounds like the name of the guy who gets the mafia coffee, or the worst mixtape rapper of all time. Notice how I said “mixtape rapper” instead of “Soundcloud rapper.” That should give you an indication that I probably shouldn’t speak about a 16-year-old girl who dances for 15 seconds on an app I’ve never used, the eponymous Charli D’Amelio.

She’s a massive internet star, but I’m just going on Dunkin’s word – there was zero chance I was Googling a teenager dancing.

Look, I’m sure Dunkin’s partnering with Charli has brought them a ton of business from kids who probably shouldn’t be drinking cold brew, but I just don’t understand how absolutely lazy this campaign is. There’s more to the partnership, though. You can win a “virtual hangout with Charli,” but even that strikes me as half-baked.

“It’s her favorite drink, gramps!” Fair, but this is just a regular menu item. Why not fib a little and release something new and exciting? It’s like that ridiculous Travis Scott meal at McDonald’s. People inexplicably flocked there to get Sprite and some BBQ sauce on a Quarter Pounder. They couldn’t at least add a special pickle to the burger or something?!

I don’t like this new trend of brand/celebrity collaborations that aren’t bringing anything new to the table. What’s the point? Why are famous chains doing the “name a deli sandwich after a customer” thing?

Side note: when I realized my local deli didn’t have a “Vin,” I asked, “What am I chopped liver?!” Now they serve a chopped liver sandwich called the “Vin.” (2 out of 10.)

But seriously, am I wrong to be ticked off at the marketing, or am I reading the situation wrong?

Conclusion:

“You’re talking about them, Old Timer?! It’s obviously working!”

I know, I just find it so lazy! I can’t shake that feeling, which is probably a Charli dance video title.

As far as I know, Dunkin’ has never collaborated with a celebrity like this. They decided to break the (way too much) ice with a kid from a niche app by promoting a regular variety of cold brew coffee? Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?! (I’m showing my age.)

Ya know what? I’m already too deep into “get off my lawn” territory here. I’ll shut up. You want a Charli, go get a Charli. Tell ’em Cactus Jack sent ya.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Small
Purchased at: Dunkin
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: Not available on the website.