PRIZE DRAWING: Because I Don’t Need It

/ / General, Prize Drawing / 59 Comments

I have a coupon from the PR firm that represents Carl’s Jr. for a free Carl’s Jr. Charbroiled Steak Sandwich that I would like to give away to a TIB reader (see picture of coupon above). It’s not redeemable at Hardee’s, so this drawing is only open to those who live near a Carl’s Jr.

I’m sorry to those who don’t live near a Carl’s Jr., but TIB will be holding another prize drawing in a few weeks that will be open to more readers.

To enter this prize drawing, leave a comment for THIS post with whatever you want to say. Please fill out the email field. TIB will stop accepting entries on Wednesday, December 31, 2008 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. One one entry is allowed per person and it is only open to those 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails from the future to warn you about that man/woman/co-worker/anal probe. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about anything with a 0% APR. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or power outages.

REVIEW: Nabisco Lightly Cinnamon Wheat Thins

/ / Reviews / 16 Comments

If you’re under the age of five, you probably won’t remember a time when Wheat Thins came in only two versions: original and low sodium. Since then, Nabisco has been pumping out new Wheat Thins flavors at a pace equal to the rate Michelle Duggar pumps out new babies from her bountiful womb. One of the latest additions to the Nabisco snack family is the Lightly Cinnamon Wheat Thins.

Cinnamon seems like a logical sweet flavor for Wheat Thins to dip their whole grain toes in because, honestly, I don’t think the world is ready for the greatness that could be found in Frosted Wheat Thins, Chocolate Wheat Thins or Frosted Chocolate Wheat Thins. Personally, I know I wouldn’t be able to handle that greatness, and if they ever did make any of those I would eat so much of it that they could no longer call it “Wheat Thins,” since it would cause me to become the opposite of thin.

Lightly Cinnamon Wheat Thins come close to that greatness because they are quite delicious, but I don’t have the urge to buy out the supply in every single store within a 20 mile radius, like I probably would with Frosted Chocolate Wheat Thins. At first, I thought the cinnamon flavor was a little too light, but then remembered the name of the product and kept chomping along. Complaining about the light cinnamon flavor is hard when on the front of the box it says in nice big letters, “Lightly Cinnamon.” It’s like getting angry at Fatburger for making me fat through the consumption of burgers.

The more I ate the Lightly Cinnamon Wheat Thins, the more I thought it had the right amount of cinnamon flavor. There was just enough cinnamon to make you forget you’re eating Wheat Thins and getting five grams of whole grains, but not so much that you might think you’re snorting lines of cinnamon off of a hooker’s ass.

I have to say that this is one of my favorite Wheat Thins flavors, and much like I look forward to finding out how many more children Michelle Duggar can squirt out before menopause hits, I look forward to finding out how many more sweet Wheat Thins flavors Nabisco will pump out.

(Nutrition Facts – 15 crackers – 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 0% Vitamin A, 2% Calcium, 0% Vitamin C, and 6% Iron.)

Item: Nabisco Lightly Cinnamon Wheat Thins
Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Size: 9.5 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Delicious. Right amount of cinnamon. First sweet Wheat Thins. One of my favorite Wheat Thins flavors. 5 grams of whole grain per serving. Frosted Wheat Thins, Chocolate Wheat Thins or Frosted Chocolate Wheat Thins.
Cons: Contains HFCS. Getting fat by eating Fatburgers. Watching the TV Show 17 Kids and Counting (It’s not as entertaining as Jon & Kate Plus 8). Getting fat whenever Nabisco makes Frosted Wheat Thins, Chocolate Wheat Thins or Frosted Chocolate Wheat Thins.

NEWS: Sprite Green Makes Regular Sprite Feel Like A Fatty

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 9 Comments

The Coca-Cola Company recently made their lemon-lime soda, Sprite, a little self-conscious this month by introducing the slimmer and sexier Sprite Green.

The big deal about Sprite Green is that it is one of the first beverages in the U.S. made with TRUVIA, a zero-calorie natural sweetener, which was develop by Cargill and the Coca-Cola Company. I could explain in detail what TRUVIA is and how it’s made, but instead I will refer you to this Wikipedia page because if I did try I would probably make stuff up, like TRUVIA got its name because the creators of the natural sweetener are big fans of the cancelled FOX show Tru Calling.

Although, TRUVIA is a zero-calorie sweetener, Sprite Green will have 50 calories per 8.5-ounce serving and contain 5% lemon juice. It’s being marketed to active teens and young adults, but will probably be consumed more by inactive adults looking to cut a few extra calories. It was launched in only two U.S. cities earlier this month in pretty 8.5-ounce aluminum bottles, but will be available to more inactive adults in January 2009.

REVIEW: Purple

/ / Reviews / 13 Comments

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Purple cowboy. Where’s the free radical fire? Trying to shove down our throats seven antioxidant-filled fruits at one time is not cool. Most of us haven’t even gotten used to acai and the fact that the C is pronounced as an S. Even though I can stick ten grapes in my mouth and deep throat a banana (it’s all about loosening the jaw and throat), trying to take the giant step of putting a liquid fruit salad that contains seven high antioxidant fruits down my gullet seems a little like fruit waterboarding.

The seven fruits in Purple include: acai, black cherry, pomegranate, black currant, purple plum, cranberry, and blueberry. Combined they form a beverage in a color that can only usually be seen in The Artist Formerly Known As Prince’s head whenever he decides to change his name. Speaking of names, I think the name Purple is appropriate for this beverage because if the color purple had a flavor, I’m pretty sure that it would taste like this high antioxidant drink. I could test my theory, but unfortunately I do not have a box of Crayola crayons around which I could melt and drink.

Because Purple is made up of a large orgy of fruits, I really couldn’t taste individual fruits but it did taste healthy. It’s 100% natural, contains no added sugars, and provides one serving of fruits. Overall, the beverage was quite tart and a little sweet. Its initial taste will probably make you grimace a little, but you get used to the drink after a few more sips.

On the bottle, Purple claims to be “The Most Powerful Antioxidant Beverage on the Planet.” That bold claim is probably just marketing bullshit, but it’s something I can’t prove or disprove, since I don’t have access to bunsen burners, lab coats, protective goggles, a properly vented laboratory, and a memory of what I learned in my college science courses. The only things I can prove with science are my ability to stick ten grapes in my mouth and my ability to deep throat a banana.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 112 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 15 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 28 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 0% Vitamin A, 100% Vitamin C, 0% Calcium, and 1% Iron.)

Item: Purple
Price: $2.99
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Has an orgy of fruits. 100% Vitamin C. Claims to be high in antioxidants. 100% natural. A bottle provides at least one serving of fruits. No added sugars.
Cons: Tastes like what I imagine the color purple tastes like. Pricey for just 10 ounces. Initial taste will make you grimace and may take some getting used to.

Bertolli Frozen Entree Winners Announced!!!

/ / General, Prize Drawing / 3 Comments

I just finished randomly selecting the winners of the Bertolli Frozen Entree Prize Drawing using an online random number generator, a Coke Zero, and a bag of Lays Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. The soda and chips really didn’t do anything but watch. Lazy bastards!

Here are the seven winners:

Comment #5 Karen
Comment #23 Shane
Comment #37 Rossitron
Comment #41 Sarah
Comment #65 Skibs
Comment #80 Julie
Comment #106 dakotaman

Each winner will receive a coupon for a free Bertolli Frozen Entree.

Thanks to everyone who participated and thanks to the folks at the PR firm that represents Bertolli for sending me the coupons to give away.

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