REVIEW: Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash

/ / Reviews / 10 Comments

Before the period in my life when I went to the beach to take voyeuristic photos of women in bikinis so that I could post them on the internet and before my current fear of taking off my shirt in public, I went to the beach to enjoy the salty air, cool blue water and the sound of crashing waves. The Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash reminds me of those simpler times when I wasn’t the freak on the beach with his shirt on who would have the meanest farmer’s tan and armed with a camera with a telephoto lens pretending to take photos of natural scenery.

The body wash’s pleasant fragrant and slightly salty scent reminds me of those days spent lounging and swimming at Hapuna Beach when I was a youngster and not a pervert. Sometimes I would swim out a little farther than everyone else and, while treading water, I would urinate in the Pacific Ocean with a big smile on my face. No pulling down my shorts. No aiming. Just letting it flow into the largest toilet bowl on the planet. For some reason the warm urine felt good as it escaped my body and mixed with the cold sea water. It’s a feeling I think everyone should experience, unless you’re at a beach that’s known for its regular shark sightings.

No, peeing in a swimming pool is not the same. Peeing in a swimming pool is for savages.

The Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash smells very similar to the Method Sea Mineral Hand Wash, but not as strong. If you’re not familiar with Method products, they are eco-friendly, haven’t been tested on animals and don’t contain ingredients that are considered to be pollutants or possible irritants, like parabens, phthalates and EDTA. One ingredient that this body wash does contain is sea salt, which gives it its slightly salty scent and is supposed to help purify the skin. But don’t expect the body wash to have granules of salt to exfoliate your skin or enough sodium to make your skin lickable to a race horse.

Because it’s eco-friendly, some people might think that it doesn’t clean as well as regular body washes, but it lathers up nicely, makes my naked body clean and leaves me smelling great in a scent that’s suitable for a man with a camera or the bikini clad woman he is secretly taking pictures of.

Item: Method Sea Minerals Marine Naturals Body Wash
Price: $6.99
Size: 18 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice fragrant, slightly salty unisex scent. Sexy curvy bottle. Reminds me of the beach. Doesn’t contain harmful pollutants or irritants. Not tested on animals. Lathers up nicely. Hapuna Beach.
Cons: Pricey. Might be difficult to find. Peeing in a swimming pool. Cap might be hard to recycle. Taking voyeuristic photos of unsuspecting women in bikinis. My fear of taking off my shirt in public.

NEWS: Chick-Fil-A’s Peach Milkshake Makes Me Want To Ugh, Double-Up, Ugh, Ugh

/ / Fast Food News / 9 Comments

This week, Chick-Fil-A, everyone’s favorite hyphenated restaurant that specializes in chicken, introduced a limited-time-only Peach Milkshake, which is made with real peaches, is hand-spun and is topped with light whipped cream and a maraschino cherry. The special summer flavor will only be around until August 22.

I believe the Peach Milkshake will bring the boys to the yard because I’ve seen Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” music video enough to know that peaches make me want to ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh.

Or are they using nectarines in the music video? If so, then nectarines make me want to ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh.

The milkshake comes in small and large and is priced at $2.49 and $2.89, respectively. According to their website, the small size has 720 calories, 19 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 450 milligrams of sodium, 125 grams of carbohydrates, 118 grams of sugar, 13 grams of protein, 20% vitamin A, 120% vitamin C and 45% calcium.

The large size contains 850 calories, 21 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 540 milligrams of sodium, 153 grams of carbohydrates, 144 grams of sugar, 15 grams of protein, 25% vitamin A, 150% vitamin C and 50% calcium.

NEWS: Enjoy A 99% Cleaner Way To Eat Cinnabon With Kellogg’s Cinnabon Snack Bars

/ / Spotted on Shelves / 11 Comments

Cinnabon is a staple of malls across America. Each store’s sweet, cinnamon scent is the bait that lures hungry shoppers to the cashier, who is waiting for those poor souls to cough up the cash for the gooey, sugary taste of a Cinnabon cinnamon roll topped with frosting. Armed with a fork and knife, those poor souls will cut one of those huge cinnamon rolls in half so that they can enjoy the other half later. But once the warm delectable baked good hits their tongue, they’ll decide to finish it all in one sitting because it won’t taste as good later on.

Even with a fork and knife, their hands still end up stickier than the floor at a 25 cent peep show and napkins don’t help at all. After the gluttony has ended, they’ll look down upon their sticky hands and curse Cinnabon for being so delicious, but within the following weeks they’ll repeat the journey all over again.

Or if their will is strong, they can eat the new Kellogg’s Cinnabon Snack Bars as a replacement, which are probably significantly better for them and cleaner than regular Cinnabon cinnamon rolls. But they probably aren’t as tasty, even if they warm up the snack bars like the packaging suggests.

The Cinnabon Snack Bars come in two flavors: original and caramel. One bar of the original flavor contains 150 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates and 13 grams of sugar. A bar of the caramel version has 150 calories, 4 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 85 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates and 14 grams of sugar.

NEWS: New Bumblebee Blast Slurpee Doesn’t Taste Like Metal, Oil and Energon

/ / Fast Food News / 6 Comments

I personally think Slurpee took the wrong approach with their Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen-promoting Bumblebee Blast Slurpee. I believe if they wanted to sell a Pacific Ocean’s worth of Slurpees, they should’ve come out with a flavor called Megan Fox Frost and have four collector’s cups featuring Megan Fox on the hood of Autobots like she’s Tawny Kitaen in Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” music video.

It really doesn’t matter what Megan Fox Frost would taste like (heck, it could be mango passion fruit flavored like the Bumblebee Blast Slurpee or whatever the flavor of Ben Gay is) because as long as there are collector’s cups featuring Megan Fox (preferably in 3-D), they would sell like bottled water on a scorching summer day. Of course, 98% percent of purchases would be made by men.

The Megan Fox-less Bumblebee Blast Slurpee has zero grams of fat, no protein and no caffeine. A 12-ounce cup has 96 calories and 25 grams of sugar; a 28-ounce serving contains 224 calories and 59 grams of sugar; and for those extreme sweettooths, a huge 40-ounce cup has 320 calories and 85 grams of sugar.

PRIZE DRAWING: Because I Want Three Readers To Eat Smart

/ / General, Prize Drawing / 137 Comments

The new Smartfood Popcorn Clusters are being marketed towards women, but to that I say nay. If guys can’t use Secret Deodorant, which is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman, then we’re just going to have to enjoy these new popcorn snacks from Frito Lay. If I can’t smell powder fresh, then I’m going to eat these popcorn snacks with two grams of fat or less and 120 calories or less per serving. They’re also a good source of dietary fiber and calcium, providing around 20% of your daily recommended allowance of each. But before I eat some, The Impulsive Buy is going to give some away.

Thanks to the fine folks at Frito Lay, The Impulsive Buy has three boxes of Smartfood Popcorn Clusters to give away to three lucky readers. Each box contains five packs and we have one box of each flavor:

–Cranberry Almond

–Honey Multigrain

–Chocolate Cookie Caramel Pecan

If you’d like to read a review about them, our friends at Snackerrific wrote one up.

To enter this prize drawing, just leave a comment with THIS post with the flavor you would like to win AND a random nugget of knowledge that you can’t believe is stuck in your head.

For example, I know for a fact that there is a town in Austria called Fucking. I don’t know how or why that’s stuck in my head, but it is and it’s there forever.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Friday, June 5, 2009 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person (I’m keeping track of the IP addresses) and it’s open to EVERYONE (men and women) who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails about how you can get Rolex watches at a fraction of the cost. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you AAA Membership upgrade offers. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or the heat this summer.

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