REVIEW: Pepsi Blue Hawaii

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Last summer, Pepsi in Japan introduced the very limited edition Pepsi Ice Cucumber, which sold out in less than a month and helped Japan maintain their title of Country Most Likely Not To Use Focus Groups. This summer, they gave the finger to focus groups again and released the limited-edition, Japan-only, Pepsi Blue Hawaii.

The beverage is based on the Blue Hawaii cocktail, which is made of rum, pineapple juice, blue Curacao, sweet and sour mix, and sometimes vodka. Despite living in Hawaii and being of drinking age for the past decade, I have yet to consume a Blue Hawaii, because I’m allergic to cocktail umbrellas and drinks that make me look like a drunk sorority girl ready to flash her boobs when a video camera and Joe Francis come by.

The color of the Pepsi Blue Hawaii could best be described as Smurf-like, which makes sense since the idea of the Pepsi Blue Hawaii made me feel the same way I feel about the future Smurfs movie — it’s probably going to suck, but it has a certain allure to it that tickles my smurfs. After tasting it, I have to say that the Pepsi Blue Hawaii isn’t so smurftastic, but it is just a little smurfy.

The pineapple and lemon flavor combination was really smurfing sweet and artificial, especially the pineapple. I really didn’t enjoy it at first, but just like my experience with the Pepsi Ice Cucumber, I got used to its flavor and somewhat enjoyed it. I think its fruity flavor would make it a smurftastic mixer if you want to get totally smurfed off of something blue and can get your hands on some Pepsi Blue Hawaii.

I’m not sure what the smurf is so mutha smurfing appealing to my taste buds with the Pepsi Blue Hawaii, but for some smurfing reason, companies in Japan seem to know how to make smurfing products that sound and look unsmurfy, but in the end, turn out to be kind of smurfy. So I look forward to a new mutha smurfing flavor next summer from Pepsi in Japan. My money is on Pepsi Ice Carrot or Cherry Blossom Pepsi.

(Editor’s Note: TIB would like to thank reader Fury for sending a bottle of Pepsi Blue Hawaii from Japan, along with a bunch of other goodies to review. Domo arigato gozaimasu!)

Item: Pepsi Blue Hawaii
Price: FREE (only available in Japan)
Purchased at: Received from TIB reader Fury
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Just a little smurfy. Comes in a Smurf color. After a few sips, I got used to the flavor and somewhat enjoyed it. Might make a good mixer. Using focus groups. Getting my smurfs tickled.
Cons: Pineapple and lemon flavor was smurfing sweet and artificial. Didn’t like the flavor at first. Available only in Japan. Limited edition. Drinks that make me look like a drunk sorority girl. Cocktail umbrellas.

Prize Drawing Winner Announced – Dewmocracy Edition

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Congratulations to Impulsive Buy reader Natalie (comment #53) for being the winner of the Mountain Dew Dewmocracy prize pack. Thanks to everyone who participated and keep an eye out for a new prize drawing in the next few weeks.

Oh, while I have your attention, if you have a Twitter account, you can follow The Impulsive Buy Twitter here. I tweet about new products I’ve seen, heard, or tried, plus whatever else comes up. Also, if you think Ace’s writing is sexy, you should hear his voice.

REVIEW: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)

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Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)

Coffee is probably one of the original gangstas of energy drinks, so the idea of adding an energy drink to coffee seems unnecessary, like a bra on an Olsen twin. But companies who like to energize the masses and make money doing so think this fusion is necessary and have created coffee energy drinks to make the beverage of choice for tired office workers everywhere in their cubicles of shame a little more extreme.

Monster Energy was the first to do it, Rockstar Energy was next to do it, Starbucks recently came out with theirs, and now Full Throttle Energy Drink has their own coffee energy drink with the uninspired name of Full Throttle Coffee.

Next up for the Full Throttle Energy Drink? Following others into a volcano.

Full Throttle Coffee comes in three flavors: Mocha, Vanilla, and Caramel. I’ve pretty much enjoyed every single coffee energy drink I’ve tried, including these from Full Throttle. However, these are definitely sweeter and creamier than the coffee energy drinks from the other companies. But I guess when each can has 43-48 grams of sugar and has cream in its ingredients list, it fucking makes sense.

The chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavors really drown out the coffee taste in their respective drinks, which is good if you don’t like the bitterness of coffee, but bad if you like your coffee to be as bitter as your feeling towards your ex-significant other.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can (varies between flavor) – 250-270 calories, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 370-390 milligrams of sodium, 45-50 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 43-48 grams of sugar, 4-5 grams of protein, 15% calcium, 200% niacin, 200% vitamin B6, 1123-1124 milligrams of taurine, 167-168 milligrams of ginseng extract, 27 milligrams of carnitine, 1.3 milligrams of guarana extract, and 126-131 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.)

Item: Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink (Mocha, Vanilla, Caramel)
Price: $1.99 (15 ounces)
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Mocha)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Vanilla)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Caramel)
Pros: Smells and tastes good. No high fructose corn syrup. Creamy. Strong chocolate, vanilla, and caramel flavor. Over 100 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Cons: Another coffee energy drink. High fructose corn syrup. Lots of fucking sugar. Sweetness drowns out coffee flavor. Maybe too sweet for some. Uninspired name. Cubicles of shame. Just following other energy drinks.

REVIEW: Strawberry Chex

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The Strawberry Nesquik powder mix was a guilty pleasure of mine growing up. It was probably the only pink thing I enjoyed during my days of Underoos, Robotech cartoons and ColecoVision. I didn’t prefer it over Chocolate Nesquik, but it was nice to drink on occasion…on the down low. Because what little boy who doesn’t like to get beaten up would admit they enjoy the girly-colored Strawberry Nesquik. I’m not sure why I enjoyed it. Maybe it was its unnatural strawberry taste or unnatural Pepto-Bismol pink color or because when I drank it, it made me feel so alive…so alive.

Now that I’m older and don’t fit into my Underoos anymore, I’ve come across other guilty pleasures that have replaced Strawberry Nesquik — some legal and some illegal in certain states. Because I’m a big boy now, I need a big boy way to consume artificial, unnatural tasting strawberry goodness. Thankfully, Strawberry Chex fills my need, and apparently the need for the General Mills Corporation to make their Chex Cereal flavor choices seem less ethnic. Rice Chex? Chocolate Chex?

The Strawberry Chex cereal consists of oven toasted rice and corn cereal with 50 percent of the cereal having a powdery strawberry-flavored coating on them. I think the cereal was pretty tasty because it smelled and tasted like strawberry Pop-Tarts, although not as sticky sweet. In milk, the cereal got soggy at a normal pace and the cereal’s powdered flavoring gave the milk a slight strawberry flavor, which took me back to my younger days of hiding Strawberry Nesquik in my Return of the Jedi Thermos.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 130 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 26 grams of carbs, <1 gram of dietary fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 17 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and many vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Strawberry Chex
Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Good. Tastes like strawberry Pop-Tarts. Milk turns slightly strawberry flavored. My Return of the Jedi Thermos. Strawberry Nesquik making me feel so alive. Robotech cartoons.
Cons: 50 percent of the cereal has the strawberry flavoring. Having to hide my guilty pleasure of Strawberry Nesquik. My current guilty pleasures. My Underoos don’t fit anymore.

REVIEW: Revolution 3D Tea

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Coffee and tea are very much alike. Both need to be roasted to get their flavor, both come in caffeinated and decaffeinated forms, and both are spelled with unnecessary letters, that if removed, wouldn’t affect their pronunciations. Cofe or T, anyone? If I had to choose between a racist tea party with Amy Winehouse or a coffee-fueled marathon of The Hills, I would have to choose the racial slur slinging and tea sipping festivities with Ms. Winehouse and hope that no stray needle hits me or her eyelashes don’t devour me like a Venus Flytrap. I would choose the tea party because I really enjoy tea in any situation and because watching several episodes of The Hills would cause my IQ to drop by about 50 points.

Recently, I’ve been enjoying the new Revolution 3D Teas because I like my tea just the way I like my Fruity Pebbles — cold, fruity and sweet. The canned beverage comes in four flavors: blueberry, mango, pomegranate and green apple. According to Revolution Tea, it’s a “Multi Dimensional Beverage” because it contains a super fruit, multiple vitamins, white tea, yadda, yadda, yadda. All of that is nice, but I’ve been staring at these Revolution 3D cans for hours and have yet to see the image of a sailboat or anything else pop out at me.

Each Revolution 3D Tea had a perfectly balanced taste. Its sweetness was just right, each flavor had a slight tartness, the fruit didn’t overpower the flavor of the tea and the tea didn’t overpower the flavor of the fruit. I really enjoyed all the flavors, but the mango and pomegranate were my favorites. What I also really enjoyed about this product are the sweet, sweet antioxidants from the white tea and super fruits, although each only contained 2% juice, so I’m not too sure how much the super fruits contributed to its antioxidant content. All that I hope for is that it’s enough to protect me if I were to get hit by one of Ms. Winehouse’s flying heroin needles.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 16 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 20% vitamin B3, 20% vitamin B6, 20% vitamin B12, 20% vitamin B5, and 3D.)

Item: Revolution 3D Tea
Price: FREE (12 ounces)
Purchased at: Sent by Revolution Tea people
Rating: 8 out of 10 (mango)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (pomegranate)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (green apple)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (blueberry)
Pros: Well balanced flavor. Sweetness was just right. All flavors were really good. Slight tartness. Use of pure cane sugar. No High Fructose Corn Syrup. Antioxidants, but I’m not too sure how much. Fruity Pebbles.
Cons: Contains only 2% juice. Can’t see 3D images on can. Getting hit by a Winehouse heroin needle. Watching a marathon of The Hills.

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