REVIEW: Hershey’s Milk Chocolate with Waffle Cone Pieces Bar

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With a legacy spanning approximately 500 years—give or take a few centuries—one would assume that Hershey has produced more than a fair amount of limited editions in the history of its iconic chocolate bar. And that assumption, like the fact that I am prone to gross exaggeration with regard to time, would be true.

While we all know—and to varying degrees love— the standard deviations (Cookies ‘n’ Creme, “with almonds,” and Symphony), do you recall Cookies ‘n’ Chocolate, Cookies ’n’ Mint, Strawberries ’n’ Creme, Raspberries ’n’ Creme, or any of the Twosomes (Reese’s Pieces, Whoppers, and Heath)? Me either! But if you’re like me—hankering for some pieces of stuff in your chocolate bar— the good folks from Pennsylvania are here for us.

About this new treat, Hershey’s website says, “Extra creamy milk chocolate and crunchy waffle cone pieces all in one bar? Who says you can’t have it all?” And then 181 more words about this candy bar. Seriously. 181! It’s a dessert-tation, really. I felt myself nodding off midway through.

Was the candy bar enough to awaken both me AND my tastebuds? Sadly, it was not.

Everyone has had a Hershey bar, so I won’t spend any time describing that. It’s a pretty straightforward American version of chocolate that few outside of the States can stand, and even snootier American chocolate connoisseurs find off-putting at best.

So the real variable here is the pieces of waffle cone. And the verdict? They add texture, but that’s about it. They seemingly do nothing in terms of taste— likely because the pieces are so small. I found myself wondering, what’s the point here? I mean, waffle cones are incredible, and I like Hershey Bars. While the combination should be a win-win, there’s just not enough substance here for it to be anything other than “ho-hum.” It’s a chocolate bar, which makes it consumable, but beyond that, it’s pretty pointless.

Maybe next time Hershey will do something a little more inventive than Chocolate ’n’ Waffle Cone. Until then, I suppose I’ll just remain Bored ‘n’ Disappointed.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 2.5 oz bar (King Size)
Purchased at: Hy-Vee
Rating: 4 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/2 pack) 170 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Sonic Smasher

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If you’ve read any of the Sonic reviews I’ve written for this site over the past eight years, you’ll:

  1. Know that I tend to love nearly everything I try.
  2. Possibly recall the one time I said Sonic is better than In-N-Out.
  3. Probably discounted anything else I’ve subsequently said on account of B.

In my defense, I will once again point out—as I do each time—that it is one magical Sonic location in particular; I know that not all stores are created equal, and, in the parlance of online absolution, “your mileage may vary.”

It was with this predisposition of enjoyment that I tried the new Sonic Smasher, which features “two Angus beef, seasoned patties smashed and seared, crispy on the edges and juicy in the middle… two slices of melty American cheese, a creamy, tangy Smasher sauce, crinkle-cut pickles, diced onions, and…a pillowy soft potato bun.”

So, you know, a smashburger. With special sauce.

Pretty standard stuff.

That said, HOLY HELL was this delicious.

The patties—delightfully thin and crispy around the edges—had a beautifully earthy beef flavor, far better than any other major chain’s patty. The cheese was your standard fast food American, but it melted exquisitely into the meat. The sauce was a pretty run-of-the-mill burger sauce, Thousand Island-style, but maybe a bit sweeter than the sauce from the Sad Clown’s Big Mac. The next time I get one (which can’t come soon enough), I might try regular mayo; Sonic does good mayonnaise, and it is my preferred burger sauce. The onions were perfect, and while I’m not typically a pickle guy, these were leagues better than the regular floppy discs that adorn most chain burgers. (Though I will say, I feel like many places have upgraded their pickles over the past year or two, so maybe these are par for the course.)

My only complaint about this burger is that I didn’t go three patties. Well, and maybe also that I’m of an age where I shouldn’t responsibly consume more than one of these a month. But if my heart health was of no concern, I’d eat one of these a week, easy. I genuinely hope that Sonic keeps these around for the long haul and that you have a Sonic near you as good as the one on 91st.

Purchased Price: $6.59
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 600 calories, 37 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1530 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 35 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Hostess Mystery Flavor Twinkies

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Unless he commits a series of particularly heinous murders or, god forbid, becomes an elected official, it stands to reason that we will not know the name Dude Dad in five years. (To be frank, I didn’t know it before buying this box of Twinkies.) Like 98% of all modern day internet characters, he is transient by nature, and will be gone as quickly as he appeared, a mildly concerning but short-lived rash in YouTube form.

It is fitting, then, that he is the spokesdude for Twinkies’ new mystery flavor; mystery flavors, be they for soda or snack cake, are not made with permanence in mind. Instead, they exist as a quick way for their brand to make a buck when all of their standard offerings are lagging.

So what IS Twinkies’ new mystery flavor? Opening my first package, I got a slight odor of “mildly burning plastic.” That dissipated quickly, however, and I was left with the scent of straight-up Twinkie. The spongy outer cake is traditional Twinkie, so no clue there. The cream, however, was distinctly different from a traditional Twinkie filling and, quite honestly, all over the map. My first thought was, “Oh, this is just cream cheese flavored?” And then, “No, wait— this is definitely berry.” By my third dip, I was convinced it was something tropical—pineapple, perhaps—but I was getting cotton candy notes by the fourth taste.

In the end, I had no idea. I tried the filling from two more Twinkies and had similarly diverging tastes each time. I even managed to add Key Lime and “something citrusy” to my list of guesses, and if I had to absolutely wager on something, I’d go with “Key Lime pie.” I’ll keep trying to guess because, hey, these are pretty decent, so I don’t mind having to eat them. (It’s worth noting that if this is a Key Lime Twinkie, it wouldn’t be the first time. There was a Ghostbuster-related “Key Lime Slime” flavor in 2016, of which we said, “The lime flavor is very subtle. It tasted like a regular Twinkie with a faint citrus flavor.” Which, yeah, precisely—these too.)

Visiting Hostess’s Instagram didn’t help; comments on their post about the mystery flavor yielded a wide and hilariously diverse range of guesses, including Cherry Limeade, blue raspberry, Pina colada, bubble gum, Twizzler, raspberry lemonade, birthday cake, peanut butter fluff, and Swedish Fish, to name just a few.

Visiting Dude Dad’s Instagram helped even less. However, I did get to see him attempt a humorous video exploring the differences between state’s firework laws, one where his wife did a better job mowing than him, and one where he and his wife went rollerblading wearing loud 90’s attire while singing along to “This Is How We Do It.” I think I’ll add “How did this guy get 1 million followers” to my list of mysteries. Thanks for the double mystery, Hostess!

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 13.58 oz box/10 pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cakes) 280 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Post Limited Edition Mint Chip Oreo O’s Cereal

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Cookie-based cereal is far from new. Cookie Crisp, the gold standard, has been filling our mornings with sweet, sweet sugar since 1977. In that almost half-century, it has tried its hand at multiple iterations—oatmeal, peanut butter, and sprinkles, to name a few.

Oreo O’s cereal, which came out 20 years later, is a relative youngster by comparison. It disappeared for a bit—well, everywhere except for South Korea—but came back in 2017. Over the years, Oreo has also messed about a bit by featuring an LTO Golden Oreo version and a “Mega Stuf” variety that incorporates creme-flavored marshmallows. But that’s it.

It’s interesting to me that a product known for endless flavors has been fairly conservative regarding the cereal version. Well, maybe the tide is turning, beginning with Mint Chip. In case you missed it, Mint Chip is the Oreo flavor of the moment. It is currently on shelves in cookie form and now as a cereal. So, is the cereal good enough to warrant branching out with new cereal varieties?

Here’s the deal — this cereal is quite minty. But unlike the deplorable Froot Loops Sherbet Scoops cereal I begrudgingly consumed for my last review (in case you missed it, it’s designed to “cool” your mouth), the mint here actually made sense. It was subtler than the mint of a Mint Oreo cookie but still noticeable and moderately enjoyable. (Really, how much you enjoy the mint in these is entirely contingent on how much you enjoy mint, you know?) I cannot, however, understand how this was mint chip and not just regular mint; the mint “flavor crystals,” for lack of a better term, were of a little “chippier” texture than the rest of the cereal, so, maybe that’s it. (Note: I have not tried the Mint Chip Cookie, though Sean recently reviewed it.)

The chocolate—which purports to be made of real Oreo cookie pieces—was predictably Oreo-wafer-like in taste. (That said, I don’t know how distinct the chocolate Oreo wafer taste truly is. It’s really when combined in concert with the creme that we get the cookie’s real essence.)

One thing that surprised me was how these held up in milk. The last bite was truly as crunchy as the first, a quality that is both terrifying and wonderful. On the one hand, I wish all of my favorite cereals had this sustainability, but I also shudder to think what petrification may be occurring with my internal organs.

While I found these Mint Chip Oreo O’s to be perfectly fine, I don’t feel compelled enough to buy them again. Now, if they’re interested in trying out a peanut butter version—peanut butter being the best Oreo variant by far—then sign me up.

Purchased Price: $4.93
Size: 16.5 oz box
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 160 calories, 2 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Froot Loops Rainbow Sherbet Scoops Cereal

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Who among us hasn’t been eating our fruity children’s breakfast cereal and thought, “This cereal is fine, but what it really needs is to taste more like sherbet and also maybe a little like a menthol cigarette”? Plenty of us, apparently, because Kellogg’s is breaking out the Mentholation Machine first employed in last year’s ICEE Cereal.

And so although this isn’t the first cereal to use the “Cools Your Mouth!” gimmick, and it isn’t the first to use a “sherbet” twist (Post unleashed Ice Cream Pebbles on an unsuspecting public in 2015), what it’s got going for it is that it could be the worst type of cereal in both categories. Kellogg’s knows it’s important to have goals!

First, it’s vital to remember that these are Froot Loops, only in spherical form. Except that these taste nothing like regular Froot Loops. They’re closer to Trix, I think, except less fruity. In short, they are vaguely artificially fruit-like in nature. The pieces are indiscernible in terms of fruit type, which feels like a shortcoming when compared to regular Froot Loops rings; all of the balls taste the same.

Nothing about these say “sherbet,” either. It’s just multigrain cereal, through and through.

Which leaves us, I suppose, with the real attraction -— the mouth-cooling special effect. Does it work? How cool does your mouth get? What’s the point of all this?

So, when I first opened the bag and popped a few pieces dry into my mouth, I was horrified. It tasted as though someone had applied a fine misting of Icy Hot to my cereal. It didn’t burn my mouth, but it was gross and confusing. I let my 10-year-old daughter try it, and she said, “Um,

what IS that?

Weird. I don’t really like it. Can I have 20 more minutes of iPad time, please?”

I didn’t get a chance to revisit the cereal for a couple of days (clearly, I wasn’t clamoring for more), but when I did, I tried it in a bowl with milk. It grew soggy quicker than most other multigrain-based cereals and also seemed to lose any of the previously noticeable “Froot” flavor. Gone too was the “menthol” taste, but what was interesting was that I did notice a distinct “mouth cooling” feel after the first spoonful. It was unpleasant, like brushing my teeth and then immediately consuming food. I didn’t finish my bowl, and I have no desire to eat more. (Which, thanks, Target, for only having this available in the SUPER MEGA FAMILY SIZE!)

I don’t know why this cereal was made. It was a mistake, like Frankenstein’s monster or a barbwire bicep tattoo, and while I’d like to think Kellogg’s will learn its lesson and stop getting weird with food science, I’ve been in this business long enough to know this simply isn’t true.

Purchased Price: $4.76 (on sale)
Size: 12.4 oz box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 1/3rd cup) 140 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar (including 11 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

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