REVIEW: General Mills Frute Brute Cereal

/ / Reviews / 14 Comments

Frute Brute Cereal

As a serial cereal eater, it shames me to admit that prior to a few weeks ago I had never heard of Frute Brute. Actually, if you asked me what Frute Brute was, I’d probably have ventured a guess that it was some kind of Vegetarian Megazord from one of the many Power Rangers spinoffs. A whole “Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables or Else!” kind of thing.

It turns out Frute Brute isn’t quite so frightening. The seasonally themed and iconic Monster cereal is making its first appearance on grocery store shelves since the waning years of the Cold War. Available until roughly the end of October, it joins Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry, and another cereal brought back from the dead, Yummy Mummy, in the Halloween food fest. It consists of whole-grain corn pieces with cherry coloring and flavoring, as well as two different colored marshmallows.

Since I wasn’t alive in 1982, I don’t have any memories of the original Fruit Brute. Thankfully, buying the box guarantees you a user-friendly crash course in Monster cereal history. The history cartoon on the back of the box may be hokey, but I admit I’ve got a soft spot for having something to read while I indulge in a bowl of modified corn starch and red 40.

Plus, that history will give me the knowledge to stump loved ones with breakfast trivia like the fact that Bela Lugosi once appeared on the front of a Count Chocula box (but wait, who is Bela Legosi?). Of course, not included in these tidbits is that early 1970s factoid of Franken Berry turning kids’ poop pink (a byproduct of the marshmallow food coloring), but that’s understandable. Pink poop is hardly appetizing.

What is appetizing is this cereal. Cherry may seem like an odd choice for a cereal flavor, but if nothing else it’s something completely different from the hodgepodge of fruit flavored cereals that vaguely taste like berry.

In any case, you can put aside any fears of this stuff tasting like cough syrup. There’s no bitter aftertaste, and the cherry flavor genuinely tastes like cherry candy. It’s mild, to be sure, and it only covers roughly half the little ghoulish pieces*, but it’s pleasant and not cloying. As for the plain pieces, they taste like your standard lightly sweetened Kix.

Frute Brute Cereal Dry

There’s a great marshmallows-to-cereal ratio and those marshmallows have a fruity flavor and really nice snap to them. Because I don’t dick around with this kind of stuff and only use whole milk for cereal eating, it’s kind of hard not to like any cereal in milk. But in this case I enjoyed the cereal more as a dry snack. Maybe it was because the plain corn pieces get kinda soggy in milk or the cherry really doesn’t go with milk, but I thought the end-milk was kind of dull and not as sweet as what I would have liked.

Frute Brute Cereal Wet

Fortunately, it’s just sweet and crunchy enough as a snack, and the cherry flavor makes it an ideal cereal to mix with anything of the chocolate persuasion. (I highly suggest Double Chocolate Krave.)

A lesser writer might use a trite pun about Frute Brute being either scary good or frightening bad, so I’m going to say it’s a nice change of pace from other marshmallow cereals, it makes a really good snack, and it’s definitely one of the better cereals to mix with chocolate flavored anything. It’s worth buying once a year for posterity alone, but I’ll probably buy a few extra boxes to get me through the ten months it isn’t on shelves.

*who coincidently bare a strong resemblance to the bad guys from Pac-Man.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup – 130 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat,0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 150 milligrams of sodium, 50 milligrams of potassium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Frute Brute reviews:
Dinosaur Dracula

Item: General Mills Frute Brute Cereal
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 9.6 oz box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Unique cherry flavor that tastes like cherry candy and mixes great with chocolate cereal. Lots of crunchy marshmallows. Not too sweet. Factoids on the box. An excuse to drink whole milk.
Cons: Pink werewolves have little, if anything, to actually do with Halloween. Corn pieces are kind of dull and worthless in milk. Really hoping my poop doesn’t turn pink.

REVIEW: Pumpkin Spice M&M’s

/ / Reviews / 21 Comments

M&M's Pumpkin Spice

I originally planned to take a picture of the new Pumpkin Spice M&M’s in a seasonal and traditional setting laced with a backdrop of Indian corn, scarecrows, and autumnal delicacies. Heck, I would have even settled for an NFL tailgate. But since these new chocolate candies started hitting stores before kids went back to school and because my garden is filled with nothing but basil, feel free to use your imagination when looking at the photos throughout this review.

Not that I’m complaining about the arrival of anything pumpkin related. I was the guy who hoarded Pumpkin Pie Spice Pringles last year. But pumpkin means fall is here (or around the corner) which means exchanging humid summer days for watching football during breezy fall afternoons.

I’m sure the usual pumpkin spice-flavored suspects will be out in force again this year — Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, McDonald’s Pumpkin Pie, and my personal favorite, Edy’s Pumpkin Ice Cream – but joining the pumpkin patch for the first time are these lovable M&M’s. Lovable because seriously, how can you not love a talking chocolate candy guy with a pumpkin on his head?

M&M's Pumpkin Spice Comparison

Pumpkin Spice M&M’s are bigger than your standard M&M’s (shown here in white) but not quite as oblong or imposing as Peanut of Almond M&M’s. I’m guessing the shell color choices of orange, green, and brown were meant to correspond to a pumpkin’s color. Beyond each colored shell is a sweet milk chocolate.

M&M's Pumpkin Spice Super Closeup

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Whoa there, why not white chocolate? That buttery, frosting-like taste was such a winning flavor with the Carrot Cake M&M’s, and would go pa-pa-perfectly with the pumpkin spice!” Well all I can say is hey, I feel you. While I don’t think anyone but the Nazis have opposed classic Milk Chocolate M&M’s, the simple truth is that they’re kind of plain on their own.

And Pumpkin Spice M&M’s aren’t much different. As I crunched down on a single candy, all I initially tasted was chocolate. True, it’s better than tasting raw pumpkin, but I was expected something a little more scrumptious. Then, almost as an aftertaste, a hint of cinnamon emerged. Here’s the thing though; it’s not that traditional vanilla and cinnamon warmth that one usually associates with pumpkin. Instead, it’s kind of a wimpy version of Cinnamon Red Hots. Cool and vaguely spicy, it’s more of a sensation than a flavor, and it’s not something that goes with the milk chocolate flavor. To use a gardening analogy, it’s like a pumpkin in a field of basil.

M&M's Pumpkin Spice Closeup

I may lack the discernible taste receptors to differentiate on the minute differences between cinnamon, cloves, ginger, allspice, and whatever else might go into the ubiquitous “pumpkin spice,” but having tasted the flavor in a variety of products, I’m pretty sure at least a few of those spices were left out of the party. While the taste of cinnamon resonates weakly in the aftertaste, the truth is you’ve got to eat these one at a time and slowly to really take advantage.

Yeah, like anyone actually does that with M&M’s.

If you’ve been one of the few people who’ve secretly got their candy fix by chugging both Milk Chocolate M&M’s and Cinnamon Red Hots, well, these Pumpkin Spice M&M’s are going to make you happy. Otherwise, you’ll just want to stick with your standard favorite M&M’s variety.

(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 oz. – 210 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 27 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Pumpkin Spice M&M’s
Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 9.9 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Forcing autumn. Bigger than standard M&M’s. Tastes took much like regular M&Ms. Doesn’t melt in your hands. Using candy to help defeat the Nazis.
Cons: Weird cinnamon aftertaste doesn’t go with chocolate. Not really pumpkin spicy. No actual pumpkin involved, despite oddly noted gram of fiber. Bigger than standard M&M’s, which could mean eating about 75 grams of sugar without realizing it.

REVIEW: Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme

/ / Reviews / 5 Comments

Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Taco

Nostalgia is a fascinating emotion.

It leads some of us on online quests to acquire Sega Genesis smash hits, like Earthworm Jim, for the sole intention of casually displaying the game cartridge on our office shelves. And it convinces others to sign up for adult recreational kickball leagues in vain attempts to recapture that 7th grade playground glory. It also causes us to be looser with our wallets than the belt we wore on those baggy pants we made our moms buy for us at the Gap in 1995.

I probably shouldn’t be so cynical, but you’d have a hard time convincing me nostalgia didn’t play a major role in the success of Taco Bell’s Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch Doritos Tacos Locos. I mean really; who among us didn’t pack a bag of Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch Doritos in our lunchboxes back in the day (besides kids with hippy parents)? Those crunchy, chemically perfected bombs of MSG and spices delivered the escape from the trials and tribulations of stupid stuff like long division and fractions. We totally had it made.

No wonder we all jumped at the idea of our favorite childhood chips becoming tacos.

The only problem was that for many of us, myself included, it felt like something was missing in the hugely popular Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos. It’s not that they were bad – heck, they were by all accounts pretty damn tasty – but there was just something missing from both flavors that made us wonder why our favorite chips didn’t translate into our favorite fast food tacos.

Enter the third phase of the Doritos Locos Taco rollout.

Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Taco 2

Inspired by the Flamas Doritos chips, the new Fiery Locos Taco hasn’t quite generated the pre-release fanfare of its more iconic big brothers. Since I live in a region of the country deemed to have a sizable enough gringo demographic as to not be attracted to anything remotely spicy, my access to bags of Doritos Flamas have been few and far between. From the few times I’ve had them I remember a deceptively spicy heat at the end and an odd lime flavor. Not odd as in it tasted like Sprite or something, but odd as in, “Hey, I’m a white dude and this is a completely unexpected flavor combination.”

Dare I say, I liked it.

But I didn’t love it. At least, I didn’t love it to the point where I’d consider trading away a turkey sandwich, two packs of Dunkaroos, and those awesome Bachman pretzel packs for a single snack-size bag of the Flamas Doritos, a barter I routinely made at the elementary school lunch table in order to acquire similar bags of Cool Ranch Doritos.

Knowing I didn’t have an intense feeling of love towards Flamas Doritos, my expectations for the Taco Bello Fiery Locos Tacos were mild. Not lower — ok, yes, to be honest a bit lower — but also, actually, realistic. Taking that into account, I gladly handed over $1.69 for the Supreme version of the taco, hoping the addition of cooling sour cream and bright tomatoes would add just the right counterbalance to what is billed as a spicy, lime-infused taco shell.

Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Taco 3

I started out by taking a few bites of the taco shell on its own, expecting the bright red color to scorch my tongue like a fireball from Super Mario. Oddly enough, it was the taste of the lime that I noticed first, a puckering, moderate acidity which then gave way to a nice, spicy heat at the back end. It’s spicy, but not too hot. And I believe it strikes an acceptable compromise.

Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Taco 4

I wasn’t crazy about the strength of lime flavor, which on its own was too astringent for my taste and, unfortunately, there wasn’t enough yellow corn flavor to balance it out. Fortunately, the lime is greatly reduced when taking a bite of the taco as a whole, with the salty yet slightly sweet ground beef and gloopy, why-are-you-so-yummy sour cream helping to meld all the flavors together.

Unlike some people, I don’t find the shredded, but mild, cheddar cheese to be an afterthought, and in the case of this particular taco, even the slight milky taste came together nicely. What I liked most was the taco’s parting shot — a peppery heat that arises from the ground beef spice flavor, it captures the perfect middle ground between distractingly hot and unacceptably bland.

The new Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos are very good in the Supreme form. Serving as a more spice-intensive canvas that needs only a slathering of Fire Sauce for those looking to scorch their taste buds, it’ll also provide a modest, but definite kick that gives it flavor and personality beyond the simple classifications of “hot” and “not hot.”

(Nutrition Facts – 200 calories, 12 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 390 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.)

Other Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos reviews:
Grub Grade
Brand Eating

Item: Taco Bell Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos Supreme
Purchased Price: $1.69
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Perfectly constructed. Ends with surprising but not uncomfortable heat. Lime flavor doesn’t overpower with all the other flavors going on. Gloriously alchemized, highly-seasoned ground beef just works. Fresh veggies. Not getting let down by unrealistic expectations.
Cons: Lime flavor of the shell is too much on its own. Seasoning in the taco shell doesn’t extend all the way to the top. Tomatoes go jumping ship too easily. Always wishing for a little more beef in Taco Bell’s taco. Still waiting for a Jacked Doritos shell with epic crunch.

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo

/ / Reviews / 14 Comments

Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo

Well, I never thought the day would come, but lo and behold it has.

No, not that glorious day when the Buffalo Bills finally win the Super Bowl or me winning the Powerball jackpot with the numbers from the TV show Lost. I’m talking about the death of creative product development from the Nabisco research team.

What else can explain their new Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo, which seems like a rehashing of 2008’s Limited Edition Banana Split Creme Oreo? I mean after the debut of Watermelon Oreo I was fully expecting a Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil Pesto Oreo or something, not an iconic American dessert that’s been tried before (and did so-so).

To be fair, the 2013 Banana Split Oreo cookies aren’t an exact clone of their 2008 predecessor. Unlike the previous version, which featured a drink-more-water pee yellow creme between two chocolate wafers, this year’s Banana Split Oreo cookies are pretty ambitious.

You’ve got your chocolate wafer as an homage to chocolate ice cream, of course, but also a vanilla wafer ice cream shoutout in addition to strawberry and banana creme fillings. Too bad they couldn’t make it a Triple Double Oreo with a top peanut butter creme layer, because that would’ve just put the icing on the cake sundae in Oreo decadence.

Generally speaking, there are two schools of thoughts when it comes to banana-flavored foods. There are the products made with real banana puree — like yogurts, smoothies, and other viscous treats — which make me say, “Well, screw evolution because I’m loving these bananas like a monkey!” And there’s also the dreaded Runt Syndrome. We’ve all been there, tearing through a bag of Runts one minute thinking, “Why don’t I buy these more?” only to come to the end of the bag, staring at the strongly artificial tasting dextrose banana pieces and remembering, “Oh yeah, that’s why.”

Unfortunately, these Oreo cookies smell very similar to those notoriously lambasted candies, and when eaten alone, the banana creme doesn’t do a whole lot to discourage the artificial banana flavor stereotype. It’s one-note and cloying, with an almost metallic faux-fruit taste that does a disservice to the actual fruit.

Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo Closeup 1

Worse yet, it tends to cover more surface area of the wafer than the strawberry creme filling, which isn’t bad, but isn’t as pleasant or strawberry-ey as the strawberry creme found in Limited Edition Strawberries ‘n Creme Oreo. Clearly, this is not a cookie for the kind of Oreo top twister who normally revels at the sweet vanilla creme that fills a standard Oreo.

Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo Closeup 2

I had higher hopes for eating the cookie in one complete bite, and to a certain degree, I think they’re better that way. The addition of a mild cocoa-flavored wafer, as well as the Golden Oreo, meld with the artificial banana flavor in such a way that your last taste isn’t the equivalent of a creamy banana runt. The problem is that the taste is not really a banana split flavor.

I realize packing the flavors of such an ambitious dessert into cookie form is one step below Willy Wonka-type food magic, but that doesn’t change the fact that Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo cookies aren’t that good. And while I’m tempted to go with the old “less is more” expression when it comes to Oreo cookies, there is still a part of me which wonders if the distinct flavors of whipped cream, peanuts, and yes, even that laboratory-red maraschino cherry wouldn’t have brought a more authentic flavor to the party. I guess we’ll never know.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 25 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Other Nabisco Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Banana Split Oreo
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 15.25 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: Perhaps the most ambitious Oreo flavor yet. Tasting distinct flavors. Has a little something for everyone. Probably healthier than eating an actual banana split sundae.
Cons: Missing the best flavor elements of an actual banana split, not to mention an authentic banana flavor. Makes you think too much about the flavor while chewing. No fun for twisters. Smells like banana runts.

REVIEW: Nabisco Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy!

/ / Reviews / 5 Comments

Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy

Opportunity cost can be a bitch, and as you get older, it only gets worse. Especially when it comes to food. Sure; There may have been days during our youth in which we burned bright with a metabolism that allowed us to have our cake and eat it too (along with a large pizza, a bag of Fritos, and a Dr Pepper Big Gulp) but the further we get from our college days, the more those extra calories force us to make decisions when it comes to things like chocolate chip cookies and brownies.

We can’t have both. Decisions, decisions…Don’t get me wrong, it truly tears at the inner child to choose between such scrumptious things, but sometimes it’s better to banish one than risk an abrupt sugar crash or the onset of Type 2 Diabetes. Nevertheless, does one go with the buttery and chewy texture of the cookie, or the fudgy, oh-God-yes crunchy edges of a chocolate brownie?

Apparently the folks at Nabisco are not immune to feeling the effects born from the tyranny of opportunity cost, because their new Chewy Chips Ahoy! Brownie Filled Chocolate Chip cookies promise all the best qualities of both cookies and brownies. To quote the monochrome dudes from the Guinness commercials: BRILLIANT!

Opening the box, you’ll find yourself greeted by that signature Chewy Chips Ahoy! aroma. You know the one I mean. The kind of unmistakable boxed chocolate chip cookie smell that tells you, “it’s not homemade, but if I’d have to throw an exclamation point to any boxed chocolate chip cookie, it’d be this one.” It’s also an aroma that is completely unlike the stale aroma of regular Chips Ahoy! cookies, which if you ask me just smell like a synthesis of the stuff in the back of your office fridge.

Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Closeup

The cookies have plenty of mini chocolate chips and are definitely chewy, but I wouldn’t call them brownie filled. Nay, they’re more like brownie stuffed, because aside from taking up most of the interior volume of the cookie, the brownie flavor definitely dominates each complete bite.

Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy Innards

It’s closer to a mellow cocoa flavor than over-the-top fudgy decadence though, and while each bite is moist there’s also a graininess that puts these brownies more into the tender and cake-like department than melt-in-your-mouth chewy. If you’re the kind of person who has a habit of eating uncooked Duncan Hines brownie mix batter, you’ll find the tastes oddly reconcilable. I find that mostly a good thing, but I do miss the chance to indulge in the crunchy edge that makes brownie fanatics and frequent fliers, like me, impulsively buy brownie edge pans 30,000 feet in the air from a SkyMall catalogue.

I also found myself mourning the fudgy flavor typical of brownies, and wished there was an extra oomph of cocoa butter to round out the flavor and decrease the slightly artificial vibe. Perhaps, unsurprisingly, the ingredients show no sign of cocoa butter – neither in the chocolate chips of the cookie, nor in the brownie.

Speaking of that cookie, it’s kind of an afterthought. Despite having so many chocolate chips and smelling like your standard Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookie, the expected sweet burst of chocolate just doesn’t come through.

I appreciate the effort from Chips Ahoy! to make an acceptable escape clause to the tyranny of dessert opportunity cost decisions, and when measured up against the spectrum of Chips Ahoy! innovations, this is definitely up there with the most creative. It’s a good packaged cookie, but that’s about all.

It’s not quite fudgy or chocolaty enough to really convince you it’s a brownie (even a packaged brownie like the one Fiber One makes) and not quite as classic tasting as a chocolate chip cookie, so I can’t guarantee it’ll satisfy your craving for either.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookie – 80 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 2.0 grams of saturated fat, 1 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 65 milligrams of potassium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, less than 1 grams of protein.)

Other Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy! reviews:
Junk Food Guy

Item: Nabisco Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy!
Purchased Price: $1.98
Size: 9.5 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Inside tastes like brownie batter. Moist and chewy cookie. Lots of chocolatey chips per cookie. Saying to opportunity cost, “Screw you I can have a brownie too.”
Cons: Brownie lacks richness. A bit grainy and cake-like. More cocoa flavored than fudgy, and not sweet enough. Fake chocolate chips. Chocolate chip cookie flavor was overwhelmed by brownie.

Scroll to Top